Photo Source:
The photo of the author running from a Monster Crab
(a.k.a. Crab Cake Gone Wild)
is a mock-up still created by Brad Hudson using footage
from his film project “The Bad Clam”.
The background picture is A Cloudy Blue Sky by Photo Rack.
The photo of the author running from a Monster Crab
(a.k.a. Crab Cake Gone Wild)
is a mock-up still created by Brad Hudson using footage
from his film project “The Bad Clam”.
The background picture is A Cloudy Blue Sky by Photo Rack.
Book Description
Heaven-Bent HUMOR: The DEAN Adventures
Wouldn’t you rather have your humor be Heaven-Bent than bent the other way?
Whether Dean’s backpacking with Bigfoot in Bermuda, time-traveling with movie stars, or inadvertently destroying worlds beyond ours, this guy knows how to have fun! Enjoy his crazy, quite possibly insane, adventures!
What will Dean do with the billions he makes by this book? Find out inside! And encourage billions of others to do so too. Especially if they pay full price!
Inventive, funny, suspenseful, each story provides a mini-vacation away from the burdens of your day. So get your ticket to fun now; and start reading. Destination: Comedy!
Table of Contents
Funny Thing Is …
Powerful Panda Points and Other Super Thoughts
I Have Amazing Super Powers; and So Too Can You!
The Worst Nightmares Ever
How to Become a Superhero (Without Having Your Home Planet Explode)
I Drink String Beans!
The Perfect Plan: Foiled!
The Perfect Plan: Foiled! 2: Holy Chip!
Spice Boy!
My O.B.E.!
An Inconvenient Fiction
Mister Dean: The Party Animal!
As You Celebrate Independence Day, Ask Yourself This
Jacko, Elvis, and The Albino Bigfoot
Eyewitness Proof That Life Existed on Other Planets!
Why I Should Be a Billionaire
Getting Ready for the End of the World
Food Phobia
Joining the Dark Side
Time-Traveling with Hollywood Hunks
Dear Supermodels
My Epic 6-Part “Inside-Out” Adventure!:
Part 1: Beggar Gone Bad!
Part 2: The Unexpected Peril of Paramotoring
Part 3: Down the Dragon’s Hole!
Part 4: Inside the Hollow Earth!
Part 5: The Perfect Ploy to Take Over the World!
Part 6: Is This Really The End?
Me Jailed?! I Didn’t Know! Did You Know?
Me Jailed?! I Didn’t Know! Did You Know? 2: Locked Up During Lockdown
Don’t Fall in Love with a Psycho
What Makes a Psycho a Pyscho?
How to Turn a Video into a Movie
Sanity Check: Pass Or Fail?
The Wing Man’s Revenge
The Over-Salted Pretzel Conspiracy Theory
Aged to Perfection
Daunting Date Ads
Free Cookies Are Great, Even If They’re Crummy
Unfortunately, Fargon Is Now Far Gone
How We Spend Our Last Day on Earth Says A Lot About Who We Are
Don’t Mention It?
Silly Silly Bands
Hanging Out with Supermodels Is Fun
Thank You Warren Buffett!
How I Hypnotized Myself into Becoming Mega-Rich
Oh Honeybell, Honeybell, Orange You Glad I Finally Found You?
I Dream of the DirectTV Genie
I’m in Smokepoint’s New Music Video: "Escape from Braddock Forest”
Time-Traveling with Hollywood Hunks 2: The Uncivil Civil War
Backpacking with Bigfoot in Bermuda
Canoeing with Sharks
Canoeing with Sharks 2: Am I Really on the Menu?
Crab Cakes Gone Wild!
Getting Messy with Nessie:
Part 1: Captain Steele Is No Captain Stubing!
Part 2: Meeting Someone Newed to Me
Part 3: Ripples of Regret
Part 4: The Hunt Begins
Part 5: Harpooned in the Heart
Part 6: Facing the Real Monster
Part 7: A Real Blast
Part 8: Sweet Dreams
All’s Crazy That Ends Crazy
Snippets
Because nothing honors a person’s memory more than having a potato chip with that person’s likeness enshrined for all to see.
Don’t forget to wrap your head in aluminum foil too, so those intergalactic fiends can’t read your mind. Otherwise, no one else in the field of extra-terrestrial relations will take you seriously.
The pinwheel hat is optional.
The government should charge a hefty Non-Superhero Tax to billionaires who aren’t superheroes, to fund folks who want to be superheroes, but can’t afford the exorbitant costs of costuming and gadgetry.
Never thought I’d wind up in jail.
An asylum? Sure. It’s a such crazy world, you’d be nuts not to go insane.
Before you buy this book, take a Look Inside!
Product Details
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More Snippets!
The DEAN Adventures:
With Jacko tagging along,
I now know how the Abominable Snowman
learned the Moonwalk.
Silly yeti!
He almost fell off a couple cliffs
dancing backwards so much.
Obviously trying to impress Jacko.
Which also explains why the Abominable Snowman
kept saying the word Thriller.
From Heaven-Bent HUMOR:
The DEAN Adventures:
The “handsomest” of them resembled Bigfoot.
Only with ZZ Top beards
and a Snidely Whiplash mustache.
Strange race indeed.
And that was just their women!
From Heaven-Bent HUMOR:
The DEAN Adventures:
I feel so sick,
that National Geographic explorers
keep coming to my house.
Apparently, when I don’t feel well,
I make the exact same sounds as a dying yeti.
Or a plesiosaur giving birth.
From Heaven-Bent HUMOR:
The DEAN Adventures:
The singing sensation continued,
“Here, no one knows I faked my death;
and no one knows me as Elvis,
the King of Rock and Roll.
Instead they know me as”--
--He led me into a cave
filled with hundreds of primitive people
who cheered at Elvis and shouted in unison:
“Kimosabe!”
“They think you’re the Lone Ranger?!”
From Heaven-Bent HUMOR:
The DEAN Adventures:
The plaster started to crack,
which meant that with just a little more pressure,
I’d be pulled in half.
Or pulled so far apart,
I’d be left paralyzed from the eyebrows down.
One side yanked; the other side yanked.
Both sides yelled.
It looked like this could be the end of me!
So why couldn’t they wait one more day?
Tonight’s supper was supposed to be PBJ Soufflé!
From Heaven-Bent HUMOR:
The DEAN Adventures:
That was either Bigfoot crying because he missed me.
Or the Scorpion King got his tail
caught under an automatic garage door again.
What a klutz!
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