Am I Not Foolish Enough to Rush In?

Photo Source: Cosmic Adventure by Sharon Apted

Am I Not 
Foolish Enough to Rush In?

by
Dean Burkey

Okay, so I finally opened a portal to another dimension.
It wasn't easy. 
But when is it ever?

Well, sure.
When you've got the Turbo Deluxe Portal-Opener 3000,
it's always easy. 

But I don't have that yet.
It's on my Birthday Wish List every year, 
but I can't convince
Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and Richard Branson 
to pool their fortunes together to buy me one. 

I don't even have the Acme Portal-Popper 2.0. 

Not even magic beans and an aluminum foil helmet!

I have to make do with my wits. 

Yeah, 
that's all I'm working with here. 

So I used masking tape, uranium, and a kazoo, 
along with some leftover parts from a broken toaster; 
and whammo!

I opened a portal to another dimension!

All that I've ever wanted awaited me. 
I just had to jump through and hope for the best.
Or is it hope for the best and jump through? 

Either way, 
I couldn't do it. 

It's like trying to date again, 
after giving your heart and soul 
to a raving psycho. 

Tends to make you shy. 

Or more shy.

Hesitant even.

They say "Fools rush in!"

Am I Not Foolish Enough to Rush In?

Because I know several people 
who will argue that I am 
more than the maximum amount of foolish.

But after what happened to the Fargon dimension 
and that crazy place where they worshiped "HeeHaw", 
I hesitated. 

Worried that I might accidentally unleash havoc 
on some unsuspecting universe. 

I try to bring joy and laughter wherever I go, 
but sadly, 
it doesn't always work out that way. 

The problem? 

My best guess is: 
Petty jealousy on the part of others. 

I flew over the cuckoo's nest; 
and they're jealous, 
'cause they're still sitting there, 
trying to lay eggs. 

Obviously, 
I don't mean you. 
I mean the people you can't stand.

You know the ones. 
And come to think of it, 
knowing them, 
they're probably jealous of you too. 

So you know exactly what I'm going through. 

I'm so glad we could share this bonding moment.

All the Best,

Dean Burkey

The following video contains a word or two that some may find offensive:

The best of one line comedians

Uploaded on Jul 1, 2011 by

dannywheeldon

Mitch Hedberg: 
I don’t have a girlfriend. 
But I do know a woman 
who’d be mad at me for saying that. 

Steve Martin: 
There is one thing I would break up over, 
and that is if she caught me with another woman. 
I won’t stand for that. 

Dean Burkey: 
From the soon-to-be revised edition of 
Heaven-Bent HUMOR: The DEAN Adventures:
‘Tis better to have loved a deranged psycho 
and fled for one’s life, 
than never to have loved at all. 

Steve Connelly: 
I listen to the police band on my CB radio. 
Once I dialed 911 
and dedicated a crime to my girlfriend.

Steven Wright: 
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. 
When she’s asleep, 
I go over there and write misspelled words on them. 

Sometimes the heckler has the best line

Uploaded on Mar 20, 2011 by

Brian Bates