Showing posts with label Steve Martin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Steve Martin. Show all posts

Friday, July 18, 2014

YAS XOF EHT SEOD TAHW: What Does The Fox Say? Backwards!

 

YAS XOF EHT SEOD TAHW: 
What Does The Fox Say? 
Backwards! 

Whenever you hear a strange song 
that's strangely popular, 
you've got to stop and think: 

Well someone obviously 

made a deal with the Devil

In that case, 
we can search the song backwards 
for hidden clues. 

Here's The Song Forwards


Ylvis The Fox What Does the Fox Say ) [Official music video HD]

Published on Oct 14, 2013 by

Before we even rewind, 
we can almost detect a massive amount 
of semi-F-bombs exploding all over the place! 

But hey, 
I blame "Star Trek" for that. 
That's right. 
They were the ones who figured out 
how to sneak the F-bomb on prime-time TV; 
and that was in the 1960s. 

All you do is mask it just a little. 

Example
"Spock! Are you out of your Vulcan mind?!" 

With or without the real or imagined F-bombs, 
I find a bunch of dudes twerking in the woods, 
with or without fox masks, 
to be more than a bit disturbing. 

But hey, 
if that's what you're into; 
and you're not hurting anyone, 
whatevs!

Just keep it down in residential areas 
when others are trying to sleep. 

Here's The Song Backwards


What Does The Fox Say (Backwards)

Published on Oct 19, 2013 by

The first thing we notice 
is that when spelled backwards, 
the name Ylvis looks like an adverb. 

I don't know what Sivly means, 
but if it's backwards, 
it probably can't be good. 

The opening voice reminds me 
of Dan Ackroyd gibberish singing 
in The Blues Brothers' hit "Rubber Biscuit". 

Somewhere near the beginning, 
which would be the end?, 
I hear the phrase "walk on water". 

Obviously, 
that's a reference, 
or allusion, 
if you will, 
to:

Dutch People. 


Because of their wooden shoes. 

Who else? 
Aquaman

The seemingly nonsensical noises, 
which resound during the chorus, 
when played backwards, 
suddenly sound like: 

Someone who hit his thumb with a hammer. 

Or got ice dropped down his Jockey shorts

Or that one annoying uncle who still plays 
"I got your nose!" 
well past your teens. 

The chorus line itself sounds like: 
"Get so out the door!"

So I guess the song could be considered divisive. 
But maybe the building's on fire; 
and the singers are yelling for us to get to safety. 
Which is awfully nice of them. 
Or they just don't want to get sued. 
Or arrested for breaking The Good Samaritan Law 
like in the Series Finale of Seinfeld

Sadly though, 
the whole "Is the song divisive 
or is it urging us to safety?" debate 
must remain unsolvable. 

At least, 
until we can get a coin to flip; 
and decide who gets to call heads. 

Near the end, 
which would be the beginning?, 
I hear the phrase "climb so nice". 

So, 
to that extent, 
this song's good at subliminally 
encouraging mountain climbers. 

Kids like it too. 
(Kids of all ages.)

If, 
10-15 years from now, 
scaling mountains suddenly becomes a big craze 
among college students, 
you'll know why. 

I've been kidding around here, 
but I gotta tell you:  That silly song made me 
more attentive to women in every way. 

Now when I meet a hot one I wonder: 
What does the fox say? 

Thanks for reading. 
Until next time, 
have a Vulcan fun week!

And, of course, by that, I mean: 
Live long & prosper. 
Or at the very least, 
don't be sivly.

For More Backwards Music Fun, 
Check Out My Previous Post: 
This Is Crazy! A Call Me Maybe Exposé

All The Best,



Photo Source: Pssmidi Pål S. Schaathun / TVNorge pressefoto
Ylvis Picture from TV show 'I kveld med Ylvis'



Click Here to Shop at Amazon!


Blues Brothers - Rubber Biscuit

Uploaded on May 26, 2006 by

Author Unknown

(http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/cleanjokes.html): 
Q: What do you call the new girl at the bank? 
A: The Nutella!

Jerry Seinfeld
The idea behind the tuxedo is 
the woman's point of view 
that men are all the same; 
so we might as well dress them that way. 
That's why a wedding is like the joining together 
of a beautiful, glowing bride 
and some guy. 
The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, 
created by women 
because they know that men are undependable. 
So in case the groom chickens out, 
everybody just takes one step over, 
and she marries the next guy. 

Dean Burkey:
If you’re beautiful; 
and you’re all alone, 
your beauty’s going to waste. 
Don’t waste it! 
Let me help you find the finest pleasures 
that beautiful people can enjoy. 

Steve Martin
Hosting the Oscars 
is like making love to a beautiful woman 
— it's something I only get to do 
when Billy Crystal's out of town. 

Steven Wright
Last night, 
I walked up to this beautiful woman in a bar 
and asked her, "Do you live around here often?" 
She said, "You're wearing two different colored socks." 
I said, "Yes, but to me they're the same, 
because I go by thickness."



Steve Martin Has to Leave Johnny Carson, Funniest Moments

Published on Aug 2, 2011 by

EvilTwinStore


Sunday, March 23, 2014

Tips on How to Write like Famous Comedians


How to Write 

All Kinds of Comedy Jokes

Volume 3:

Tips on How to Write 

Like Famous Comedians 

by



Comedy Isn’t Easy, But It Just Got Easier With: 

“How to Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes”



Must you be born funny to make people laugh? Groucho Marx wasn’t born with glasses, a mustache, and a cigar. Even Steve “Born Standing Up” Martin wasn’t born wearing an arrow through his head. (Lucky for his mom, ‘cause that would have hurt!) Although Woody Allen might have been born with frizzy red hair and glasses. 

A lifelong student of comedy, a real stand-up guy, an improv performer, and the author of books as varied as “Holy Laughter!” and the comedy novel “Monster Laughs”, Dean Burkey shares his thoughts and the tips and techniques he’s learned over the years in a series he wishes had been written for him when he first started. 

Humor enhances our lives, so improve your comic abilities with “How to Write All Kinds of Kinds of Comedy Jokes”. Anyone from a comical newbie to a professional comedy writer can benefit from this series. Don’t let your comedy dreams pass you by! This book and this series can help you make others laugh! (See the guarantee below.) 

Volume 3: Tips on How to Write like Famous Comedians


This volume covers tips for writing like Woody Allen, Steve Martin, Brian Regan, and Mitch Hedberg and also offers pointers to help you write like yourself, or rather, a much funnier version of yourself. Makes a great companion to the first two volumes, teaching you how to write multiple jokes on a single topic. As well as what to do with the jokes you write! 

The trailer for Woody Allen’s movie “Love and Death” inspired me to think of film comedy. His story “The UFO Menace” made me want to write comedy. 

Steve Martin was such a strong comedic influence during my formative years. Made me want to perform standup. 

Brian Regan is my favorite current standup comedian. Besides me. His inflections, expressions, antics, and material teach us we can be truly hilarious without resorting to dirty tricks. 

I didn’t “discover” Mitch Hedberg until after he died. But his cadence, delivery, and fast-paced material teach us to go for the laughs. No monkeying around, just make people laugh. 

Table of Contents


Tips on How to Write Like Woody Allen 
Tips on How to Write Like Steve Martin 
Tips on How to Write Like Brian Regan 
Tips on How to Write Like Mitch Hedberg 
Some Quick Tips on How to Write Like Other Comics 
Rodney Dangerfield 
Phyllis Diller 
Jerry Seinfeld 
Steven Wright 
Tips on How to Write Like You 
What Makes You So Funny? 
Standup Comedy Set 
Performance Pointers 
A Look at Developing a Comic Persona 
What Are You Waiting For? 
Write. Review. Market. (Celebrate Each Success!) 
Humor-Man! (Or Humor-Woman!) 
How to Turn 1 Topic into 10, 20, or 50 + Jokes 
1 Topic / 10 Jokes 
1 Topic / 10 Jokes (Alternate Version) 
1 Topic / 20 Jokes 
1 Topic / 20 Jokes (Alternate Version) 
1 Topic / 50 Jokes 
Special Bonus Feature: How Woody Allen Improved His Moose Routine
Special Bonus Feature: A Dean Reads Book Review of Steve Martin’s “Born Standing Up”

Special Bonus Feature: How Brian Regan Improved His Pops Tarts Routine

Special Bonus Feature: The Comedic Brilliance of Mitch Hedberg’s Delivery

Special Bonus Feature: “The ‘Chicken Musket’ Secret to Comedy” 


Please Note: Volume 3 is being released before Volume 2. 

If this book gives you just one really great idea, you should reread it. Because you obviously missed something. But even so, one really great idea is still worth more than the cost of this book. Either way, I guarantee you will find something in this book to make you laugh and/or help you make others laugh. If not, return it in less than a week; and Amazon will issue a refund. You have nothing to lose and a world of laughter to gain, so click the Buy button now.

Kindle Price:$6.99


Woody Allen - The Moose

Uploaded on Aug 21, 2007 by


Woody Allen
Well, my wife was an immature woman; 
and, uh, that’s all I can say, she. 
See if this is not immature to you: 
I would be home in the bathroom, 
taking a bath; 
and my wife would walk right in, 
whenever she felt like, 
and sink my boats.

Steve Martin
I’m not into that one-night thing. 
I think a person should get to know someone, 
and even be in love with them, 
before you use and degrade them.


Dean Burkey
I found Nemo. 

He was at Red Lobster. 

Part of their combo platter. 

And he was delicious.

They ask the most insulting question 
when you check into a hospital. 

“What seems to be the problem?” 

“What seems? 
Well it seems; 
it seems like everything on my inside 
wants to be on my outside. 
But I’m no doctor.” 
What kind o’ condescending question.

I wanna be a race car passenger, 
just a guy who bugs the driver. 
“Say man, can I turn on the radio? 
You should slow down. 
Why we gotta keep going in circles? 
Can I put my feet out the window? 
Man, you really like Tide.”


Brian Regan-I Walked On The Moon (Full)

Uploaded on Dec 9, 2011 by

EvilTwinStore

Add Witty Phrase Here! T-Shirt
Add Witty Phrase Here! T-Shirt by EvilTwinStore
Look at Witty T-Shirts online at Zazzle.com

Friday, February 14, 2014

Going For The GOLD

Special Early Bird Edition
(Next Monday’s Blog Posted This Friday)
In Honor of the Olympics 
and Valentine’s Day


Photo Source: International Olympic Committee
(Click the Picture Above for a Free Medal Alert App)

Going For The GOLD

You know me, 
I always like to have fun, 
and make a quick buck, 
so I volunteered to be the first guinea pig 
for an experimental, new teleportation device. 

The research scientists wanted to use 

an actual guinea pig, 
but thanks to the protests 
of several animal rights activists groups, 
they were forced instead to use human beings. 

So I got placed in mortal danger, 

because some brilliant copywriter 
came up with the catchy slogan: 
“The Guinea Pig You Save 
May Be Your Own!” 

Since I was clearly putting my existence at risk, 

those highly intelligent scientists let me 
pick my intended destination. 
I figured I’d let them “beam me to Sochi, Russia, 
so I could enjoy the 22nd Olympic Winter Games

Fortunately, 

their crazy contraption worked. 
I de-materialized 
from their mysterious, 
top secret research facility 
known only as Area 52
and milliseconds later, 
I reappeared in Sochi, Russia, 
on the slopes in front of 
a mega-gorgeous Swiss alpine skier! 

Unfortunately, 

I didn’t have skis or snow shoes, 
so I slid down the side of the steep mountain. 
And not down the fun side with the colorful course, 
the other, far more dangerous, dark side. 
At the speed I slid, 
and with my inability to maneuver effectively, 
I was as good as dead. 
Especially since the cold already turned my skin blue. 

Fortunately, 

the mega-gorgeous Swiss alpine skier saw my plight 
and sped after me 
performing a highly tenacious rescue. 
Proving that she’s not only mega-gorgeous 
with amazing skiing skills, 
but she also has a heart of gold. 
What an awesome combination! 

Unfortunately, 

her act of heroism zapped 
some of her energy for her next event. 
Costing her at least a tenth of a second
of much needed time. 
So she didn’t win the gold, 
but she won my undying gratitude. 
But then again, 
she already had that, 
just by being mega-gorgeous. 

Fortunately, 

she took me to her translator, 
so I could thank her 
and tell her what I wanted to say to her 
from the moment I first saw her: 
I may a wee bit lactose intolerant, 
but I’ll gladly eat holes in cheese 
if thats what it takes to make you happy.” 

Unfortunately, 

her interpreter had a secret crush on her, 
so every time guys who can’t speak Swiss 
try to make their moves on her, 
he misinterprets. 
I don’t know what he said I said, 
but she slapped me so hard, 
I fell back down that slippery slope. 

Fortunately, 

this time I managed to grab the railing, 
so I wouldn’t fall over the edge to certain doom. 

Unfortunately, 

the railing I grabbed broke. 

Fortunately, 

the translator felt a twinge of remorse 
and reached out to save my life. 
(Sure, 
he wanted the mega-gorgeous Swiss skier 
all to himself, 
but he didn’t want to kill anybody. 
He’s a lover; 
not a man-slaughterer.) 

Unfortunately, 

after he saved my life, 
he pulled a weapon on me. 

Fortunately, 

it was just a Swiss Army knife. 
So I chuckled and asked, 
“What are you going to do? 
Clip my toenails to death?” 

Unfortunately, 

he did just that! 
More or less. 
He clipped my toenails. 
Way too close! 
So my every step on the white snow 
left a gut-wrenching, 
toe-trailing mess. 
Ow! & Yuck!

Fortunately, 

the mega-gorgeous Swiss alpine skier 
has a bizarre fetish for closely-trimmed toenails. 
So she clutched my lapel, 
puckered her lips, 
and pulled me close. 
Yay!

Unfortunately, 

those stupid clods 
who invented the teleportation device 
beamed me back to Area 52! 
Before Golden Girl could kiss me! 
Boo! 
Where in the world will I find 
such a wonderful woman 
with that much dedication, 
and a heart of gold, 
and who’s teeming with mega-gorgeosocity? 

Seeing my bloodied toes, 

those silly scientists assumed their device malfunctioned. 
Having lied about paying me big bucks 
to be the first sap to get zapped by their contraption, 
they conked me on the head 
with an over-sized petri dish, 

I awoke on the carpet in front of the TV, 

which naturally was tuned to the Olympics. 
To see me there, 
youd think I just dozed off, 
fell from the couch, 
and conked my head.
After having clipped my toenails insanely close. 
But that would be crazy! 

So boo the Area 52 scientists

but yay Team USA! 
Win all the gold medals you can! 
And please tell that mega-gorgeous Swiss skier, 
that if she wants a gold medal, 
she can have my heart-shaped one. 

Go Team USA! 


And everyone, 

please enjoy a safe and 
Happy Valentine’s Day!

Author’s Note: 

I wrote the foregoing whimsical tale, 
because I felt I needed 
to have a new DEAN Adventure
Plus, 
I wanted to write something topical 
in honor of all the dedicated, 
hard-working Olympians 
from around the world; 
and to post something for Valentine’s Day. 
And I wanted to honor my favorite book 
when I was a young child: 
Fortunately” by Remy Charlip.



Click Here to Shop at Amazon!


Bob Smiley:


Bob Smiley's Snow Ski Bit

Uploaded on Apr 13, 2006 by

Richard Pryor

When that fire hit your @$$, 
it will sober your @$$ up quick! 
I saw something, I went, 
"Well, that's a pretty blue. 
You know what? That looks like fire!" 
Fire is inspirational. 
They should use it in the Olympics, 
because I ran the 100 in 4.3.

Ray Divine

We wanted an Olympic Gold medalist 
to be our keynote speaker. 
But due to our low budget, 
we booked a figure-skater instead. 
‘Cause all we can afford is a cheapskate. 

Dean Burkey

Nothing tells your children 
how much you thought about them 
while skiing the Alps, 
dancing in Rio, 
surfing in Hawaii, 
or being anywhere but home, 
like a shirt with a picture of cheese.

Steve Martin

(Paraphrased by John a.k.a. Jisch at http://forums.alpinezone.com/showthread.php/48779-Chairlift-Conversations/page6)
You know how some people 
have their name engraved in their skis. 
Well the other day I was riding up a lift 
and I read the guy's name off his skis 
and started talking to him like I knew him. 
He thought I was NUTS! 
His name was Rental.

Steven Wright

Cross country skiing is great 
if you live in a small country. 


The Secret of Skiing

Uploaded on Jul 10, 2011 by

EvilTwinStore


Cheesy Shirt 2
Cheesy Shirt 2 by EvilTwinStore
See more Cheesy T-Shirts at zazzle.com