Sanity Check: Pass Or Fail?

Sanity Check: 
Pass Or Fail?

Photo Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000S94FRC

If you don’t check your sanity every so often, you’re probably insane. 

If you check it too much, it’ll make you insane. 

So obviously there’s a delicate balance to the grasping of one’s sanity. 

I sent in my Sanity Check test along with four box tops from specially marked packages of Cocoa Puffs. 

And, in six to eight weeks, I’ll be the first on my block to find out how my sanity checks out. 

But alas, I fear, my sanity may have already checked out. 

The samples shown online indicated that everyone taking the test is ultimately declared: Cuckoo! 

Yes, my friends, Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. 

But I guess it’s a given that if you eat four specially marked boxes of Cocoa Puffs, you are, at least to some extent, indeed, Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Cuckoo like a clock! 

Sweet chocolaty delight toying with my sanity like it’s a shrink-wrapped plastic toy that comes in six different colors. 

Since I already know the declaration of insanity is forthcoming, I should go ahead decide what kind of crazy I want to be. 

Hmm. ...

An ax-wielding psycho in a hockey mask? 

No way! The mask would be too stuffy, especially in a temperate climate. 

And even a nut job doesn’t want to haul around a heavy ax everywhere he goes. 

I don’t know how the wackos with chainsaws do so. 

Especially with all that noise, the added weight, and the rising costs of chainsaw upkeep.

A drooling dude on a park bench who feeds the pigeons 

and mumbles to himself about the one that got away? 

Nothing against the pigeons, but that sounds boring. 

And the excessive drooling can get messy. 

And expensive, depending on local dry cleaning costs. 

Besides, I pushed away all the ones that got away, so I’m in the clear in that regard. 

More or less. 

Okay, less. 

Oo! Oo! 

I could be one of those goobers 

who lives in denial! 

Gasp! Or maybe I already am!

Or I could be someone whose grasp of reality 

is flimsy at best. 

Then I could write a blog and create all sorts of crazy fun adventures. 

Nawwww! 

Blessings & Joy,

Dean

P.S. The irony, or paradox, if any, is that I didn’t even eat Cocoa Puffs this week. It’s my reward for when I finish a screenplay, but I’m not done with my latest one yet. (Actually, I finished yesterday, so I will soon be enjoying bowlfuls of that crazy chocolate delight!)

When Did Saturday Morning Cartoons Get to Be So Silly?

When Did 
Saturday Morning Cartoons 
Get to Be So Silly?

Photo Source:
http://www.comicvine.com/news/bat-mite-and-batman-team-up-on-brave-the-bold/138515/

Although I was up late the night before, having performed with the ImprovAddicts, Saturday morning, I woke up early, not by choice, I just did. 

Since I was up, I watched “Star Watch” to get the latest scoop on the latest movies. 

Somehow, from there, I wound up watching cartoons. 

When Did Saturday Morning Cartoons Get to Be So Silly? 

I.e., The Power Rangers: Lost Galaxy*. 

I guess it wouldn’t be as stupid, if they were at least real superheroes. 

But they’re not. 

They’re fantasy. Make-believe. And kind of hokey. 

Science fiction, without the science. 

Not realistic, like Superman, Spider-Man, and Batman. 

Bat-Mite and Robin don’t count. 

The jury’s still out on Aquaman and the Wonder Twins. 

Maybe if the Twins didn’t have that goofy monkey. 

Or if the goofy monkey could shoot lasers from its eyes. 

Sadly, Iron Man Armored Adventures turned out to be stupid too. 

I didn’t know it was about a teenage Iron Man. 

Let’s call him Iron Kiddo. 

A team of black ops, a.k.a. highly trained special forces, chase high school student Pepper and fire a slew of automatic weapons at her, but they miss! 

Even though she’s running down the middle of the street; and they shoot a barrage of bullets. 

Even when she’s standing a few feet in front them! 

But as soon as Iron Kiddo stands in front of her, the bullets ricochet off his armor. 

In other words, the so-called highly trained special forces couldn’t hit their target, until the target was Iron Kiddo. 

Silly! 

Super silly? 

Iron silly!

Okay, it was still a fun episode, but that part was totally silly! 

What happened to cartoons that weren’t stupid and silly? 

Cartoons that were realistic and made sense. 

Like being born in a galaxy with a red sun and being rocketed to a planet with a yellow sun endows you with super powers far beyond those of mere mortal men. 

Or a radioactive-spider bite gives you the proportionate strength and abilities of an arachnid. 

The only silly part being: 

If spiders do have spider sense, why are they so easy to squash? 

Being a mega-rich orphan bent on revenge can help you finance the creation of cool gadgets with a flying nocturnal mammal theme, even if you can’t fly. 

The only silly parts being: 

The aforementioned Bat-Mite and Robin. 

Nowadays though, most cartoons are silly and stupid. 

It’s almost as if they’re designed for little kids. 

Blessings & Joy,

Dean

* Okay. Technically speaking, The Power Rangers: Lost Galaxy isn’t even a cartoon. It’s live action. And the only reason I watched it? The opening credits showed: Cerina Vincent! But she didn’t even appear in the episode I watched. Argh! Foiled again! Or maybe she did, but I didn’t recognize her. Sadness, sorrow, regret, ... I may need a Sanity Check! 

Coming Friday: Sanity Check: Pass Or Fail?

Dean’s Money-Saving Tips

Dean’s Money-Saving Tips

Photo by Talia Felix
Photo Source: http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=18362&picture=piles-of-money

~ The first step is to keep track of where your money goes. 

Write down every penny you spend. 

Examine the list to see what you can do without. 

And then do without it. 

~ Don’t buy what you don’t need. 

Fix what you can. 

Or do without. 

~ You can save at least $40 a month, by getting rid of your cell phone. 

But only if you’ve competed the one-to-two-year (or however long) agreement. 

~ You can save $40 or so (depending on how much you pay) a month, by getting rid of your gym membership. 

~ You can save more money per month, by getting rid of cable TV. 

Watch the shows you like on Hulu.com and other such sites; sometimes even the networks’ own sites. 

Get a digital to analog TV converter box, so you can watch with an antennae. 

Usually costs a one-time fee that would be less than paying for a month or two of cable. 

You won’t get to see as many shows, but you can use the time you would normally waste watching TV to find the cure to cancer or invent a way to turn tapioca pudding into gold. 

Or some other way to become mega-rich; and then you can buy your favorite network; and have them run the shows and movies you want to see. 

~ Shop only once a week! That way you have to think of what you really, really want and need. 

Write down what you need from the grocery store; and stick to your list when shopping. 

Keep track of what you don’t eat. 

If you throw away a bag of spinach every week or two, maybe you’re not eating spinach as much as you think you are. 

How many melons must go bad, before you realize you’re just not a melon guy or gal? 

~ Wait until movies come out on DVD to watch them!

DVD rental is cheaper than going to a movie theater. 

Plus, if you miss something, you can rewind. 

And if you can’t understand what the actors say, you can turn on the subtitles. 

Of course, some movies need to be seen on the big screen!

Like Inception where the buildings collapse on themselves. 

Or superhero movies, like The Avengers, The Amazing Spider-Man, 
The Dark Knight Rises. 

Sadly, Jaws loses a lot of its impact on a small screen. 

Which frightens you more a 25-foot shark? 

Or a 25-inch schnook? 

I know, I know, it depends on whether or not the schnook can shoot lasers from its eyes. 

~ Here are the money-saving steps for seeing a movie, 

from most to least expensive. 

Most Expensive: Grand opening of a movie with all your friends going to see it: 

Pay full price at the theater. Just don’t eat movie snack food/drinks. 

Expensive: Matinee price at the movie theater. 

Medium-Priced: The discount theaters that charge about $3 for movies that came out a month or more ago. 

Medium-Priced/Less Expensive: Watch movies online from Amazon Instant Video at Amazon.com. (Depends on the movie and such.) 

Less Expensive: DVD rental from a DVD rental store. (Depends on the store and the length of the rental.) 

Even Less Than Less Expensive: DVD rental from Redbox. 

Even Less Than Less Than Less Expensive: DVD rental from a Blockbuster Express “Blue Box” after the movie’s been out for a while; and they only charge a $1 plus sales tax. 

Best Price: Free! Watch some movies online for Free from Amazon Instant Video at Amazon.com. (Depends on the movie and such.) 

You can save DVD rental money by “renting” DVDs from the library! 

Or wait a couple years, for the movie to air on broadcast TV. 

If you can’t wait that long, keep searching YouTube for someone who posts it, but you have to watch it fast, before it gets taken down (rightfully so) for copyright infringement. 

You can create a Google Alert to let you know when anything with the title of the movie you want to see gets posted. 

Maybe your city will show it outside for free. 

Might be on the side of a building. 

Or on a sheet that flutters in the breeze. 

But makes for a nice picnic date. 

And you might meet your significant other. 

~ And while we’re gabbing about freebies, why bother to buy new books when you can borrow them from the library? 

~ Also, Amazon Kindle offers Freebies from time to time too. 

Plus, you can get most Kindle books for a lot cheaper than the print editions. 

~ Get a Free Kindle Reading App, so you don’t even have to buy a Kindle to enjoy the great Kindle savings. 

~ Make a game of seeing how much money you can save! 

~ Decide to donate a portion of your savings to help the destitute; and then you’re not just saving money, you’re saving lives!

Blessings & Joy,

Dean


 

Coming Wednesday: When Did Saturday Morning Cartoons Get to Be So Silly?

Coming Friday: Sanity Check: Pass Or Fail?

Spoiler Alerts

Spoiler Alerts

Photo Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001B1DS7Y

SPOILER ALERT: 
Bananas spoil!

Bruce Wills was a ghost the whole time! 

Plus, he had a gun attached to his back with shipping tape. 

Roy Scheider shot the scuba tank in the shark’s mouth which blew up the shark; and then later it bit an electrical cord which created a shock ending; and then it blew up again; and then, lastly, a ship with a broken, jagged edge rams into it, not only killing the shark, but the franchise too. 

There is no Kaiser Soze! Kevin Spacey made him up! Along with the rest of the details! Or you could say, that Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Soze, either way works. (He can walk just fine too.)

Charlton Heston discovers a startling secret: The newest culinary sensation in 2022 that everyone enjoys so much turns out to be people! (Apparently that was the best way they could feed everybody and get rid of bodies without needing burial space.) 

And he finds out that further in the future, the Earth is overrun by talking apes with stinking paws. (He was back on Earth the whole time!) 

The guy selling soap is the guy running Fight Club! 

The rest of the world is destroyed, so now there’s no one to bother you, so you can spend all your time reading all the books you want, but oops!, your glasses just broke. 

Four guys steal a million dollars worth of gold and sleep in suspended animation for a century, only to turn on each other and kill each other, but it turns out, that a hundred years from now, science figured out how to manufacture gold, so it’s worthless. 

Relax, your only dreamt that the Earth is being pulled into the sun; it was just a nightmare, from which you wake up to find the Earth has fallen out of orbit and traveling away from the sun. 

Did I just ruin the endings to a bunch of movies and Twilight Zone episodes? 

Of course not, it was all just a dream. 

From which you awaken to find yourself safely in bed, strapped down and muzzled in your rubber room at the asylum. 

Cue the villainous cackling. 

Muahahahahhahhahhahahahhahhahhahahahhahhahha!

Blessings & Joy,

Dean

P.S. Which endings were spoiled? The Sixth Sense, Die Hard, Jaws 1, 2, 3, and 4, The Usual Suspects, Soylent Green, Planet of the Apes, Fight Club; and The Twilight Zone episodes: Time Enough at Last, The Rip Van Winkle Caper, and The Midnight Sun. 

Do Not Feed Or Molest Alligators!

Do Not Feed Or Molest Alligators!

Photo Source: http://www.linkinn.com/_funny_Pics_34

Some insidious sap must have done something sinister to an alligator to prompt the Florida government to shell out big bucks to post signs near every known body of fresh water to admonish us: “Do Not Feed Or Molest Alligators!”

As Floridians known, any body of fresh water, including a puddle, can house and hide a predator; whether a gator, a water moccasin, or a peeping Tom with a mask and snorkel. So people need to know what dangers lurk beneath the surface. Nothing kills tourism quicker than tourists becoming the main course for a variety of man-eaters. At least that was the case in “JAWS.” Nowadays, however, such a horror might attract people. Just not the kind of folks we want wandering around Florida.

But why does the sign say molest? What exactly did that kinky kook do to an alligator? Did that incident inspire the sci-fi thriller “The Alligator People”? How could anyone, except another alligator, find an alligator attractive? How can you determine their gender without getting near their claws and teeth? And what standard does one use to decide which ones are sexy?

That kooky culprit must have imbibed serious amounts of chemical substances and/or felt extremely lonely. Excessive solitude can sully one’s emotions. Sadly, I often find myself attracted to extraterrestrials. But just the sexy ones. And sailors at sea too long often confuse manatees with mermaids. But why? Manatees don’t wear coconut bikini tops.

Seems like crooks breaking such laws would suffer capital punishment without the government, or at the very least, undergo involuntary amputation. Like Coco “Stubs” Callahan who claims he got to second base before the creature suddenly got the munchies. Not only did his wife leave him, he got fined for hand-feeding, and in his case, elbow-and-arm-feeding the wildlife.

Florida law forbids our feeding alligators, because doing so makes those Super-Sized lizards with rows of teeth associate humans with food. And in a reptile’s brain, “people bring food” soon becomes “people are food.” That means whoever originally molested an alligator did so, without first buying the beast dinner. What a creep!

If that sicko had swum in salt water instead of fresh, would we post signs that say?: “Do Not Shag the Sharks!”

Blessings & Joy,

Dean

Modified slightly from the version originally published with the pseudonym D. B. James at: http://www.863area.com/feedgators/

What We Can Learn from Alligators

What We Can Learn from Alligators

Instead of fleeing in abject fear every time alligators nibble on our kneecaps, let’s take a moment to see what we can learn from these amazing man-eating predators. And then flee in abject fear. 

Conserve Your Energy

Alligators look lazy, because they appear to lounge around a lot. Of course, no one with half a brain, or the longing to live, would dare say so to a gator’s face. Not more than once anyway. Instead of wasting our time and energy worrying about things that don’t matter. We need to focus on what’s most important to us. Decide what you want to attain; and then concentrate your efforts on that. Don’t lie around in a hammock all day. But don’t try to accomplish so much, that you wear yourself out; and wind up accomplishing quite little. Also, go green, turn off lights, water, appliances, etc. when no longer in use. Conserve your energy and your resources. 

Plan Ahead

When alligators get hungry, they can’t pop something into the microwave or pour a bowl of cereal. Sure, à la Bruce the shark in “Jaws”, if an unsuspecting skinny dipper swims their way at the beginning of a horror movie, they’ll enjoy the midnight snack. But that never happens enough. Thus, they need to plan ahead for their meals. Prepare. Think of what you need before you need it, so you’ll have what you need when you need it. 

Be Patient

Alligators can’t pull their SUVs up to drive-thru windows to get fast food. (For obvious reasons: They don’t own SUVs, can’t drive, and don’t carry credit cards or cash. Which seems ironic since their skin is made out of wallets.) Thus, when they get a hankering for duck à l’orange. (Or whatever color fowl they can find. Gators aren’t prejudiced. Except against Seminoles and Bulldogs. But even then, that doesn’t mean they don’t love to eat them.) These large reptiles are too big, too menacing, to barge over unnoticed. Since most creatures don’t want to be eaten, they flee at the sight of hungry predators. Especially large reptilian ones. (T-Rex did a number on us all where we can’t forget!) So these large lumbering lizards must sneak up on their prey slowly. Ever so slowly. Wait. Rushing can cause you to make mindless mistakes. 

Blend into Your Surroundings

Obviously, most of nature, not counting folks who find cow-tipping to be the height of culture, will flee from rows of hungry teeth, regardless of how slow they move. Thus, alligators must pretend to be driftwood. Logs adrift garner less fright than pouncing gators with their salivating mouths wide open. Especially since they don’t floss and often wreak of bad breath. Notice what’s around you. How can you use that to your advantage? No need to become noticed, until you’re ready. 

Become a Powerful Force

Once alligators draw close enough to their prey, they strike with a quick burst of fury, exuding a power so forceful that only zigzagging or belly-rubbing can stop them. Or a bazooka. Or an H-bomb. But that’s a bit excessive. 

Conserve your energy. Plan ahead. Be patient. Blend into your surroundings. Once you’re in position, give your tasks all you’ve got to attain your goals. Achieve your desires with relentless fury. 

Thank you alligators for the helpful advice. Now please don’t eat us; and we’ll try not to turn you into wallets, purses, and boots. 

Cool deal? 

Blessings & Joy,

Dean Burkey

How to Turn a Video into a Movie

How to Turn a Video into a Movie

Believe it or not, Paramount plans to turn the following video into a major motion picture. (Maybe “major” isn’t the right word.) ...

This video uploaded to YouTube by klaatu42 on May 1, 2011

So I thought I’d help them, by plotting the story.

FADE IN: 

EXT. OUTER SPACE -- DAY

A fleet of UFOs zigzag and zoom through a meteorite shower. 

A meteorite hits the saucer in back and sends it caroming to Earth. 

EXT. EARTH -- MID-TO-LATE AFTERNOON

With the other aliens onboard killed in the crash, Zeflon, the sole survivor, snaps into action and uses his intergalactic shape-shifting abilities to turn himself into a Great White Shark. 

Unfortunately, he’s not in water and dies. 

EXT. EARTH -- MID-TO-LATE AFTERNOON, BUT SLIGHTLY CLOSER TO LATE AFTERNOON THAN MID-AFTERNOON

Seconds later, another UFO crashes to Earth, but this time, Yafleur, the sole survivor, snaps into action and uses his intergalactic shape-shifting abilities to turn himself into a Great Dane.

Unfortunately, he is in water and dies. 

Paradoxically, eaten by a Great White Shark.

EXT. EARTH -- ANYTIME, EXCEPT DUSK* 

The following week, another UFO crashes to Earth, but this time, Kakoolie, the sole survivor, snaps into action and uses his intergalactic shape-shifting abilities to turn himself into a wiener dog, complete with a collar studded with strange space alien stones.

Fortunately, he’s not in water, so he bounds from his crashed spacecraft, wagging his tail. 

He gazes at the wonders of the world before him and says: “Where can a cuddly canine get some Purina Dog Chow**?”

ROLL OPENING CREDITS.

PLAY THE THEME SONG: Collie Rae’s “Bark at Me Maybe”.

EXT. CITY -- 4:17 P.M. (OR A.M., WHICHEVER IS BRIGHTER TO CUT BACK ON LIGHTING COSTS)

Kakoolie prances downtown following every delicious scent that comes his way. 

But a dog catcher catches him. 

(Kakoolie forgot to shape-shift a doggy license around his neck!) 

Kakoolie pleads for his life. 

Hearing the dog speak, the catcher overwhelmed with guilt for all the sweet mutts he’s put away, suffers a heart attack and dies. 

Kakoolie frees a French poodle named Colletta from the back of the dog catcher’s van and falls in love. 

EXT. ALLEY -- 4:17 P.M. (OR A.M., WHICHEVER IS DARKER TO CREATE A VISUAL CONTRAST)

Colletta leads Kakoolie into a back alley where they eat scraps tossed away by Chef Pierre. 

Kakoolie and Colletta enjoy a happy life, until three seconds later, the mob moves in on Chef Pierre’s highly successful Pastries R Us Shoppe. 

Seeing only dogs, the thugs Tom and Jerry discuss the crime boss’ clandestine criminal plans. 

Kakoolie tells them to leave; or he’ll go to the cops with the crime boss’ clandestine criminal plans, which will lead to the execution style deaths of Tom and Jerry. 

Or, at they very least, they won’t be able to have seconds of pudding at the next crime boss picnic. 

Since they both like pudding, Tom and Jerry argue about what to do. 

Hearing a voice, but seeing only dogs, Tom and Jerry think the other’s setting them up, so they draw and fire, killing each other. 

But that’s not the end of them!

Those strange space alien stones on Kakoolie’s collar emanate an eerie cosmic radiation that causes corpses not to die. 

Or rather, not to stay dead. 

Thus begins a global zombie apocalypse. 

INSERT AN AMUSING MONTAGE SCORED BY PATTI PAGE’S “(HOW MUCH IS) THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW”

After many shady shenanigans and a whole slew of hilarious hijinks ensue, Kakoolie and Colletta hijack a dinghy and row to a deserted island where seven stranded castaways eat Colletta for lunch. 

EXT. ISLAND -- DAY

Mary Ann’s offer to make coconut pie for dessert is met with an unfavorable response by the others. 

(Some might call it mass hysteria or mob frenzy.) 

We are now down to six castaways. 

Thanks to those strange space alien stones and a bamboo meat cleaver, Zombie-Mary Ann reduces the number of castaways to zero!

All seven Zombie-Castaways suddenly have a hankering for doggy brains.

Kakoolie escapes their canine decapitating culinary plans and dog paddles to America.

Why didn’t the Professor ever think of this?

EXT. BEACH -- DAY

After swimming ashore, Kakoolie gets adopted by a retired clown who wears a squirting flower and says: “What a fine looking dog you are, I bet you could use a home.”

Unfortunately for Kakoolie, the retired clown thinks it’s fun to tease dogs.

INT. DEN -- NIGHT

So Kakoolie’s new owner teases him with food. Especially bacon. But you never joke around with bacon!

Hungry after such a long swim, and still morose over the loss of Colletta, Kakoolie groans in exasperation.

Thinking that’s the funniest sound in the world, the owner laughs uproariously.

Not liking to be pranked, and crazy from hunger and grief, Kakoolie expands his jaws wider than a normal dog can and eats the laughing owner in one bite. 

KA-CHOMP!

The owner stops laughing.

Truly, THE ULTIMATE DOG TEASE!

AND NOW, FOR THE BIG SURPRISE TWIST ENDING: 

SPOILER ALERT! Bruce Willis has been a ghost the whole time! But the Chief of Police stops him by shoving a scuba tank in his mouth and blowing it up with his last bullet. The explosion sends the enforcer of the Dark Side spinning away in outer space. But he’ll come back in the sequel to tell Luke he’s his father. And then as they leave Ape City behind, they find the Statue of Liberty half buried in the sand and realize that not only have they been on Earth the whole time, but the arm holding the torch held up for thousands of years. And then Kakoolie wakes up suddenly to discover that it had all been a weird and wacky dream, inspired by having eaten before going to bed: Two bowls of the new Chipotle Cocoa Puffs. But then he wakes up again to discover that it wasn’t a dream after all, except for the part about the chipotle-flavored Cocoa Puffs. Or was that the only part that was real? 

FADE OUT.

ROLL CLOSING CREDITS.

INCLUDE THE DELETED SCENE WITH THE DANCING NINJAS. (CUT FOR PACING PURPOSES ONLY.)

IF MORE FILLER IS NEEDED, THE CAST AND CREW SINGS: “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?”

END CLOSING CREDITS.

FADE IN: 

EXT. CITY -- EARLY-TO-MID-MORNING, AFTER SUNRISE, BUT BEFORE THAT ANNOYING TALK SHOW COMES ON

Destitute, hungry, Kakoolie roams the city streets, until a retired clown with a joy buzzer in his hand sees him and says: “What a fine looking dog you are, I bet you could use a home.”

CAPTION: The End?***

FADE OUT.

Photo Source: http://blog.comixconnection.com/2012/04/ultimate-dog-tease-video.html

Blessings & Joy,

Dean

* An homage to Steve Martin!

** Product placements help defray production costs. ;o)

*** This sets the stage for the sequel “Barking Dawn” where Kakoolie finds himself emotionally torn between a Vampire-Poodle named Dominique and a Werewolf-Schnauzer named Schultzie. Includes a hilarious tug of war scene, a naughty PG-13 car-washing scene, and the romantic theme song: Selena Greyhound’s “Love You Like a Fire Hydrant”.

What Makes a Psycho Pyscho

What Makes a Psycho Pyscho

Photo Source: The 2002 Lionsgate film:
American Psycho II: All American Girl*

I always like to present Things You Need to Know, so here I go: 

What Makes a Psycho Pyscho … 

Obviously, the psycho’s not a psycho at first; otherwise psycho relationships would never begin. 

(Unless the psycho’s totally gorgeous.) 

(Or both parties are psychos, to one extent or another.) 

(But aren’t we all, to one extent or another, slightly askew?)

(Personally, I think it’s the overuse of parentheses that makes people go bonkers, cuckoo, loony tuney, quirky, quacky, always wacky, nuttier than crunchy peanut butter, a few chocolates short of a Whitman’s Sampler, one whose jacket is never crooked, someone suffering from Sanity Deficit Disorder.)

So my questions are: 

If the psycho can act non-psychotic at the beginning of a relationship, why doesn’t he/she act non-psychotic all the time? 

If you have that much control, just stop being a psycho! 

And psychos, when it comes to decision-making, why not follow the advice and counsel of the person in the relationship who hasn’t been pumped full of lithium and lit up like a Christmas tree with EST? 

Makes sense to me! 

But no, psychos always want to run the show. 

What’s really sad, is when psychos refuse to change and grow, 
which is, in essence, what makes someone a psycho. 

Einstein’s attributed with saying insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. 

Ergo, refusal to change and grow makes a psycho psycho. 

Or it could be that all those negative political ads make them crazy. 

Or silly commercials in general can generate nuttiness. 

Add in the rising price of gas; and it’s a wonder any of us are sane! 

But let’s not for one minute, not even for a 30-second commercial, ever blame Cocoa Puffs. 

How can it be wrong when it’s so chocolaty good? 

Ah, sweet insanity … 

I say we blame Big Pharma.

Blessings & Joy,

Dean

* I haven’t seen this movie, so I’m not recommending it. It’s rated R for violence and language, so viewer discretion is advised. I just needed a picture of an adorable psycho, so I chose Mila Kunis in her role as Rachael. 

** For more Cocoa Puffs’ fun, see: About Cocoa Puffs. 

Uploaded by ClassicCommercials4U on Nov 15, 2008

An old commercial for Cocoa Puffs cereal with Joseph Gordon-Levitt.