Friday, September 21, 2012

Spoiler Alerts

Spoiler Alerts



Photo Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001B1DS7Y

SPOILER ALERT: 
Bananas spoil!

Bruce Wills was a ghost the whole time! 

Plus, he had a gun attached to his back with shipping tape. 

Roy Scheider shot the scuba tank in the shark’s mouth which blew up the shark; and then later it bit an electrical cord which created a shock ending; and then it blew up again; and then, lastly, a ship with a broken, jagged edge rams into it, not only killing the shark, but the franchise too. 

There is no Kaiser SozeKevin Spacey made him up! Along with the rest of the details! Or you could say, that Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Soze, either way works. (He can walk just fine too.)

Charlton Heston discovers a startling secret: The newest culinary sensation in 2022 that everyone enjoys so much turns out to be people! (Apparently that was the best way they could feed everybody and get rid of bodies without needing burial space.) 

And he finds out that further in the future, the Earth is overrun by talking apes with stinking paws. (He was back on Earth the whole time!) 

The guy selling soap is the guy running Fight Club

The rest of the world is destroyed, so now there’s no one to bother you, so you can spend all your time reading all the books you want, but oops!, your glasses just broke

Four guys steal a million dollars worth of gold and sleep in suspended animation for a century, only to turn on each other and kill each other, but it turns out, that a hundred years from now, science figured out how to manufacture gold, so it’s worthless. 

Relax, your only dreamt that the Earth is being pulled into the sun; it was just a nightmare, from which you wake up to find the Earth has fallen out of orbit and traveling away from the sun. 

Did I just ruin the endings to a bunch of movies and Twilight Zone episodes? 

Of course not, it was all just a dream. 

From which you awaken to find yourself safely in bed, strapped down and muzzled in your rubber room at the asylum. 

Cue the villainous cackling. 

Muahahahahhahhahhahahahhahhahhahahahhahhahha!

Blessings & Joy,

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