The Beautiful Brilliance of Amazon's FREE Kindle Reading Apps

The Beautiful Brilliance 
of Amazon’s FREE 
Kindle Reading Apps

by
Dean Burkey

Because Amazon offers a variety of FREE Kindle Reading Apps that let us read Kindle books the way we want, we can read Amazon Kindle books without a Kindle! 

As Amazon states, their FREE Kindle Reading Apps offer you: 

* The ability to read Kindle books with no Kindle device required, so not only can you can take advantage of Amazon’s great prices and selection, you can also enjoy reading Kindle books on your computer, tablet, and/or smartphone.

* Access to any book in your Kindle library, so you can start reading or keep reading whenever you have free time.

* Amazon’s Whispersync technology which synchronizes your furthest page read, bookmarks, notes, and highlights across all your devices. 

* Great Kindle features like dictionaries and Wikipedia that help you get more from your reading.

Have you ever highlighted something in a book, but then realized you highlighted the wrong thing? With Amazon Kindle books, which you can read without a Kindle by using their FREE Kindle Reading Apps, you can highlight and un-highlight as you deem best. That’s one of my favorite features! 

And that’s just some of The Beautiful Brilliance, Or Brilliant Beauty, of Amazon’s FREE Kindle Reading Apps. 

All The Best,

Dean Burkey

Come Back Friday September 12, 2014

Tips on How to Write like Famous Comedians

How to Write 

All Kinds of Comedy Jokes

Volume 3:

Tips on How to Write 

Like Famous Comedians 

by

Dean Burkey

Comedy Isn’t Easy, But It Just Got Easier With: 

“How to Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes”

Must you be born funny to make people laugh? Groucho Marx wasn’t born with glasses, a mustache, and a cigar. Even Steve “Born Standing Up” Martin wasn’t born wearing an arrow through his head. (Lucky for his mom, ‘cause that would have hurt!) Although Woody Allen might have been born with frizzy red hair and glasses. 

A lifelong student of comedy, a real stand-up guy, an improv performer, and the author of books as varied as “Holy Laughter!” and the comedy novel “Monster Laughs”, Dean Burkey shares his thoughts and the tips and techniques he’s learned over the years in a series he wishes had been written for him when he first started. 

Humor enhances our lives, so improve your comic abilities with “How to Write All Kinds of Kinds of Comedy Jokes”. Anyone from a comical newbie to a professional comedy writer can benefit from this series. Don’t let your comedy dreams pass you by! This book and this series can help you make others laugh! (See the guarantee below.) 

Volume 3: Tips on How to Write like Famous Comedians

This volume covers tips for writing like Woody Allen, Steve Martin, Brian Regan, and Mitch Hedberg and also offers pointers to help you write like yourself, or rather, a much funnier version of yourself. Makes a great companion to the first two volumes, teaching you how to write multiple jokes on a single topic. As well as what to do with the jokes you write! 

The trailer for Woody Allen’s movie “Love and Death” inspired me to think of film comedy. His story “The UFO Menace” made me want to write comedy. 

Steve Martin was such a strong comedic influence during my formative years. Made me want to perform standup. 

Brian Regan is my favorite current standup comedian. Besides me. His inflections, expressions, antics, and material teach us we can be truly hilarious without resorting to dirty tricks. 

I didn’t “discover” Mitch Hedberg until after he died. But his cadence, delivery, and fast-paced material teach us to go for the laughs. No monkeying around, just make people laugh. 

Table of Contents

Tips on How to Write Like Woody Allen 

Tips on How to Write Like Steve Martin 

Tips on How to Write Like Brian Regan 

Tips on How to Write Like Mitch Hedberg 

Some Quick Tips on How to Write Like Other Comics 

Rodney Dangerfield 

Phyllis Diller 

Jerry Seinfeld 

Steven Wright 

Tips on How to Write Like You 

What Makes You So Funny? 

Standup Comedy Set 

Performance Pointers 

A Look at Developing a Comic Persona 

What Are You Waiting For? 

Write. Review. Market. (Celebrate Each Success!) 

Humor-Man! (Or Humor-Woman!) 

How to Turn 1 Topic into 10, 20, or 50 + Jokes 

1 Topic / 10 Jokes 

1 Topic / 10 Jokes (Alternate Version) 

1 Topic / 20 Jokes 

1 Topic / 20 Jokes (Alternate Version) 

1 Topic / 50 Jokes 

Special Bonus Feature: How Woody Allen Improved His Moose Routine

Special Bonus Feature: A Dean Reads Book Review of Steve Martin’s “Born Standing Up”

Special Bonus Feature: How Brian Regan Improved His Pops Tarts Routine

Special Bonus Feature: The Comedic Brilliance of Mitch Hedberg’s Delivery

Special Bonus Feature: “The ‘Chicken Musket’ Secret to Comedy” 

Please Note: Volume 3 is being released before Volume 2. 

If this book gives you just one really great idea, you should reread it. Because you obviously missed something. But even so, one really great idea is still worth more than the cost of this book. Either way, I guarantee you will find something in this book to make you laugh and/or help you make others laugh. If not, return it in less than a week; and Amazon will issue a refund. You have nothing to lose and a world of laughter to gain, so click the Buy button now.

Kindle Price:

$6.99

All the Best,

Dean Burkey

Click Here to Shop at Amazon!

Woody Allen - The Moose

Uploaded on Aug 21, 2007 by

ognet

Woody Allen: 
Well, my wife was an immature woman; 
and, uh, that’s all I can say, she. 
See if this is not immature to you: 
I would be home in the bathroom, 
taking a bath; 
and my wife would walk right in, 
whenever she felt like, 
and sink my boats.

Steve Martin: 
I’m not into that one-night thing. 
I think a person should get to know someone, 
and even be in love with them, 
before you use and degrade them.


Dean Burkey: 

I found Nemo. 

He was at Red Lobster. 

Part of their combo platter. 

And he was delicious.

Brian Regan: 

They ask the most insulting question 
when you check into a hospital. 

“What seems to be the problem?” 

“What seems? 

Well it seems; 

it seems like everything on my inside 

wants to be on my outside. 

But I’m no doctor.” 

What kind o’ condescending question.

Mitch Hedberg: 

I wanna be a race car passenger, 

just a guy who bugs the driver. 

“Say man, can I turn on the radio? 

You should slow down. 

Why we gotta keep going in circles? 

Can I put my feet out the window? 

Man, you really like Tide.”

Brian Regan-I Walked On The Moon (Full)

Uploaded on Dec 9, 2011 by

Aleah Strauss

EvilTwinStore

Add Witty Phrase Here! T-Shirt by EvilTwinStore
Look at Witty T-Shirts online at Zazzle.com

Bonus Post: Get Monster Laughs FREE Oct. 24-28, 2013

Bonus Post: 
Get Monster Laughs FREE 
Oct. 24-28, 2013

by
Dean Burkey

Monster Laughs [Kindle Edition]

Dean Burkey (Author)
Don't have a Kindle?
Get your Kindle here.

“Monster Laughs”

From the Secret Files of the Mystery Hunter

If you’re like me, you love to laugh; and have fun! Congratulations! Now you can do both, with funny fun fiction from the author of "Heaven-Bent HUMOR: The DEAN Adventures", "How to Write Comedy Jokes", "Seasons Without Reason", "Exit Strategies", "Channel Surfing", and more: Comedian Dean Burkey.

Fear not, laugh a lot, as Paranormal Investigator Eddie Hunter, a.k.a. the Mystery Hunter, matches wits with Count Dracula, the Werewolf, Frankenstein’s Monster, and many other madcap menaces, classic and new, from around the world and beyond.

“Monster Laughs” spoofs monsters and more. In an Odyssey of Oddities, Eddie Hunter tackles the Invisible Man, Space Aliens, and other infamous frights. Further scary topics include romantic misunderstandings, macho insecurities, and diminishing dignity.

No matter how dangerous the situation, the Mystery Hunter keeps his sense of humor, somehow survives, and finds time to enjoy waffles, pie, and bowling. Only he could save the world with bubble gum and burritos.

The beauty of this book, besides being comical, is that each chapter presents its own adventure, while a story weaves throughout.

Busy? Overworked? Stressing out? By this book, you can escape on a monstrously funny mind-trip.

"In my line of work, nothing’s more embarrassing than when the monster laughs."
-- Edward T. Hunter, Paranormal Investigator.

Table of Contents

"Count Dracula Sinks His Teeth into the Big Apple"
To stop the villainous vampire, the Mystery Hunter puts his neck on the line!

"The Howling Werewolf’s Hairy End"
Bring Your Pet to Work Day has never been so deadly! Or so itchy.

"Frankenstein’s Monster Bolts Loose"
Big and green, mighty and mean, the most menacing monster the Hunter’s ever seen. (So far.)

"Doctor Jekyll and Ms. Hyde"
Double the pleasure; double the danger! And with the Hunter involved, double the laughs and mishaps!! And double the indignities and insecurities!!!

"Unraveling the Mystery of the Mummy"
The Mystery Hunter faces more horrors than he’s ever imagined. Is the Mummy out for revenge? Or just running a pyramid scheme?

"Skinny Dipping with the Creature from the Blue Lagoon"
Cannibals, pirates, and sharks, oh my! Also, lost treasure, a whale, a gorilla, a navy seal, and a couple grabby blue crabs. And let’s not forget the web-footed horror of the amphibious Creature! Does the Creature want to kill the Hunter? Or are his desires a fate worse than death? What else would you expect during mating season at the Blue Lagoon?

"The Swinging Tale of the Blue Moon Monkey Man"
The Mystery Hunter encounters a new menace. Before he gets himself killed over a blue banana, the Hunter better solve this case and split!

"Illegal Aliens from Outer Space"
(This Is My Favorite Chapter!)
Worlds turn against the Mystery Hunter, including his own! The galaxy cries out: “Bring me the Hunter!”

"Being Seen with the Invisible Man (Or Not!)"
Although he prides himself on always being prepared, the Mystery Hunter never saw this one coming!

"Challenging the Unchallengeable Charlie Change-O"
The Final Chapter!
Home from a whirlwind, worldwide tour of mystery-hunting, Eddie faces his fiercest foe and solves a mystery he wishes he’d never solved.

"Return of the Blue Moon Monkey Man (And Another Crazy)"
The Final, Final Chapter!
A fiendish foe returns. So does another crazy. And the Hunter makes a monstrously horrifying realization about himself.

Before you buy this book, take a Look Inside!

Inspired lunacy! Zany, quirky, funny, fun. For teens and adults.

All the Best,

Dean Burkey

Excerpts

Howlie Mandel [The Werewolf] prepared to pounce on me, but then he sniffed a whiff of Penelope’s perfume and barked with bliss. I wondered, deal or no deal.

“The price is wrong, Mister Barker.” Aiming my weapon at Fuzzy Wuzzy, I called out to my alluring assistant, “Run, Penelope! Run!”

Slipping on a soiled newspaper, Penelope collapsed to the red carpet. Like I said, lycanthropes aren’t known for being housebroken. Which seems odd, since most of them come from broken homes.

Salivating like a ravenous shark at a scuba diver’s convention, the Canine Catastrophe bounded across the room to Penelope.

Aimed and fired my stinky gun, but I hit an electrical panel. After an explosion of sparks, the lights went out.

...

As Frank’s Fiend [Frankenstein’s Monster] lunged forward, I froze. Semi-froze. I chomped my third bite of pie. If you’ve gotta go, why not go with a smile? Bye-bye smile. Horrified, I gasped when he swung his right hand and flung my pie. My delicious key lime smashed into a wall a block away, held for four seconds, and fell onto the head of a crooked politician in an Armani silk suit. The Incredible Sulk destroyed my pie. The monster!

With my finger twitching on the trigger, I thawed out and shoved the barrel of my marble-handled, custom-made, sure-shot, seven, count-‘em, seven-shooter into his mouth. I already reloaded my trusty gun with lead bullets, so not only would I conserve silver, I’d give him lead poisoning. The fatal kind. “What do you say for yourself now? Pie-Flinger!”

“Yummy.” Biting down, the Bolt-Meister bent the end of my marble-handled, custom-made, sure-shot, seven, count-‘em, seven-shooter. Since I could no longer fire, I refroze quicker than leftovers of Tofurky soufflé.

...

The Mad Grabber [Doctor Jekyll] madly grabbed a double dose of his eerie serum and brandished a hypodermic needle at me. “I’ll show you what horror means!”

“No need to. I have a dictionary.” With my kitty-like reflexes, I dodged his first swing. “Or I can Google it online.” I sidestepped his second strike too. “Or Wiki will give me -- Ow!” But not the third. Pain shot through my arm. I wobbled. “Was that needle clean?”

“The needle’s clean; the serum’s not.” The Injection-Meister cackled maddeningly. Not like a villain in a B-movie. He just chortled an annoying laugh that made me mad. 

...

Maybe Serena was right. Maybe I am “a freaky little fool in an over-sized coat full of goofy gadgets who can’t solve the mystery of himself, much less anything else”. Should I take such cruel words spoken in anger to heart? But why was she mad? Where did I go wrong with her? My monstrous charisma and hunter’s mystique always made her feel so secure. Whenever she saw me, she shouted, “Security! Security!!”

...

Although not wanting to die, I felt relieved Captain Gills [The Creature from the Blue Lagoon] only wanted to kill me.

But just when I thought it was safe to be murdered by a homicidal maniac, ...

To see more, 
Click to LOOK INSIDE!

BUY NOW!

What's the Deal with Free Books?

What's the Deal 
with Free Books?

by
Dean Burkey

Photo Source:
The photo of the author running from a Monster Crab
(a.k.a. Crab Cake Gone Wild)
is a mock-up still created by Brad Hudson using footage
from his film project “The Bad Clam”.
The background picture is A Cloudy Blue Sky by Photo Rack.

Thank you!
I gave away over 50 books yesterday!

What's the Deal?

The Deal for You:
The deal is you get an awesome book FREE!

But even if you miss the May 5 cut-off date, 
you can still enjoy a bunch of comical adventures 
for less than four bucks!

The Deal for Me:
The deal is I get the chance to give you a book, 
to let you read a sampling of my writing. 

Also,
the more books I give away, 
the higher my ranking becomes, 
so even if you can't read, 
still get my book!

Of course, 
the dream goal, 
besides having the supermodel heiress 
of a chocolate fortune find me irresistible, 
is accruing a vast amount 
of 5-Star Reviews!

So please: 
Get your free copy right away!

It's a Win-Win situation for both of us!
And I love when we all get along. 

To help me out some more, 
please click the picture below, 
to visit my Dean Burkey Author Page; 
and click the orange Like button
in the upper right hand corner:

Photo by David Wehman


And if you also enjoy faith-based books, 
please click the picture below, 
to visit my Dean J. Burkey Author Page; 
and click the orange Like button
in the upper right hand corner:

Photo by Susan Anderson

Many, many thanks!

I worked super dee duper hard on this book, 
to make it as funny as can be, 
so I'm sure that if you like it 
even half as much as I do, 
you'll love it immensely!

And at a cost of FREE, 
you automatically get more 
than your money's worth!

More Snippets!

From Heaven-Bent HUMOR: 

The DEAN Adventures:

Don’t fall in love with a psycho; 
she’ll only break your heart. 
Or cut it out and feed it to the pigeons.  

From Heaven-Bent HUMOR: 

The DEAN Adventures:

Kakoolie and Colletta enjoy a happy, fulfilling life, 
teeming with love and joy, 
until three seconds later, 
the mob moves in on Chef Pierre’s 
highly successful Pastries R Us Shoppe.  

From Heaven-Bent HUMOR: 

The DEAN Adventures:

Unfortunately, a speck of dust. 
A seemingly insignificant speck of dust. 
Altered my coordinates ever so slightly, 
sending me to Fargon instead of Oolala. 
Of course, I was still greeted as a hero. 
If you saw me in my cape, you’d understand.  

From Heaven-Bent HUMOR: 

The DEAN Adventures:

And the silly insurance company 
doesn’t cover self-started fire damage. 
Are you kidding me? 
Self-started fire damage coverage 
is the only reason people get insurance! 

From Heaven-Bent HUMOR: 

The DEAN Adventures:

If the DirectTV Genie gave me three wishes, 
I assure you, 
that none of them 
would be about television programming.

From Heaven-Bent HUMOR: 

The DEAN Adventures:

 We met while serving together in Desert Storm. 
Not in the military. 
We worked as waiters 
in a taco tiki hut on the outskirts of Kuwait.

All the Best,

Dean Burkey

Christian Comedy Combo Platter!

Christian Comedy Combo Platter!

by Dean Burkey

Book Description

Publication Date: February 23, 2013

Two books in one: “Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible” and “Faith like a Ketchup Seed”, updated, with new bonus material not featured in either book before.

Comedian-Written & Pastor-Approved!

Christian comedy!

(Mostly comedy. A few parts are serious. Such as the sad story of an ice cube in “Faith like a Ketchup Seed”. Yeah, that’s right. It melts.)

“Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible”

With the “Divine Comedy” in Scripture, such as Elijah’s sarcastic insults to the prophets of Baal and the slapstick absurdity of David faking insanity, as well as Dean Burkey’s comedic commentary, readers should enjoy laughter of biblical proportions.

And not just any kind of laughter. Holy Laughter!

Which makes this the perfect book for anyone, because everyone needs to laugh.

Especially those who don't think they need to laugh. They need to laugh the most!

Includes lots of funny headings and one-liners, an insightful inspection of the Resurrection of Christ: “For Sale: One Tomb, Slightly Used”, “The Ultimate Movie Trailer!”, clever character sketches of Simon Peter, Pontius Pilate, and more!

Play “The Crosscheck Cookie Game!”

Whenever you find a wordplay with the word cross in "Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible": Eat a cookie. ... Or to be more fun: Eat a hot cross bun. ... Or to be healthy, eat a carrot.

“Faith like a Ketchup Seed”

Essays, blog posts, Bible studies, devotions, short stories, stand-up routines, jokes, even a skit and a sci-fi tale. Family-friendly. Sunday school-friendly. Even pulpit-friendly!

Learn my theories that prove the existence of God.

Wonder why an ice cube can make you cry. (I know, I already told you he melts, but why he melts is what makes this story so moving.)

Find out why I’m obsessed with wanting to walk on water.

Laugh guilt-free. If you enjoy “Holy Laughter!”, you’ll love “Faith like a Ketchup Seed” too.

Good, clean fun. And I mean that, in a Godly, Christian way.

The New Bonus Material includes Special Bonus Features for “Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible” including Deleted Scenes.

Extra Bonuses include: “The Loving Ten Commandments of God”, “Marry Mary Christmas! 

(A Monologue for Joseph)”, “The Hardest Part about Forgiveness”, “What I Like about the Devil”, “Remember, You’re Already Beautiful”, and my famous funny and/or thought-provoking fillers.

Product Details File Size: 340 KB Publisher: Heaven-Bent (February 23, 2013) Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc. Language: English ASIN: B00BKP6BCU Text-to-Speech: Enabled  X-Ray: Not Enabled  Lending: Enabled

Blessings & Joy,
Dean Burkey


For more fun with comedy, 
every week day, 
check out: 
Comedy Jokes Blog


Uploaded on Oct 5, 2009 by
KoolAndTheGangVEVO

Book Review: Thinking The Extra

This post is a day early, 

so you’ll have a better chance 

of getting this book for free!

Book Review: 
Thinking The Extra

by Dean Burkey

 

Photo Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00BFECQ02

“Thinking the Extra” by Francis Akintola is a quick read.  
But an insightful and informative one too.  

He talks about the something “extra” that separates the successful people from the masses as the subtitle promises: “Discover the Untapped Secrets of Successful People”. 

English is obviously not Mr. Akintola’s first language.  

Although his book is brief and to the point, some of those points needed deciphering. 

I don’t begrudge his grammatical errors or misuse of words, because he seems to be writing from a well-meaning perspective.  

On the other hand, I laughed out loud when he left the letter “h” out of the word “farthest”, creating this sentence: “The man who get fartest in life is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.”

Despite all that, he makes excellent points about how we should view/use Time, Information, Money, Debt, Risk, and Failure. 

After reading this book, you’ll want to read more!  (According to the author, Trump reads at least two books a week.)  

I enjoyed it, and hope you do too.  

I got it free yesterday.  If you hurry, it may still be free today.  

Blessings & Joy,

Dean

Uploaded on Apr 9, 2011 by
MichaelJacks0nVevo

Official music video for "Man In The Mirror" by Michael Jackson, 

available on Michael Jackson: Moonwalker. 
Distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures. 
© 2012 Ultimate Productions 
© 1988 Original sound recording made by MJJ Productions Inc.

 


Currently* FREE* 
on Amazon Kindle**:

 
 
 

Top 100 FREE Apps for Android

Click Here for More Currently* FREE* Kindle** Books!

Click Here for Some*** Currently* FREE* MP3 Downloads!

* The prices for these books (and most** of the MP3s) were FREE at the time of this posting, but the prices are subject to change at any time, so be sure to get your FREE copies while you can. Just be sure the book listing says “Kindle Price: $0.00”. If the price has gone up, some of these aren’t that costly in the first place anyway.

** Even if you don’t have a Kindle, you can still enjoy these FREE books by clicking this link: FREE Kindle Reading Apps or the banner at the top or the bottom of this page.

*** Not all the MP3s listed are free, so check the price before buying. 

Click Here for: 
Amazon Coupons

For More Fun Freebies, Click Here 
for My Freebies Free-for-All! Page!