Showing posts with label How to Write Comedy Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label How to Write Comedy Jokes. Show all posts

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Tips on How to Write like Famous Comedians


How to Write 

All Kinds of Comedy Jokes

Volume 3:

Tips on How to Write 

Like Famous Comedians 

by



Comedy Isn’t Easy, But It Just Got Easier With: 

“How to Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes”



Must you be born funny to make people laugh? Groucho Marx wasn’t born with glasses, a mustache, and a cigar. Even Steve “Born Standing Up” Martin wasn’t born wearing an arrow through his head. (Lucky for his mom, ‘cause that would have hurt!) Although Woody Allen might have been born with frizzy red hair and glasses. 

A lifelong student of comedy, a real stand-up guy, an improv performer, and the author of books as varied as “Holy Laughter!” and the comedy novel “Monster Laughs”, Dean Burkey shares his thoughts and the tips and techniques he’s learned over the years in a series he wishes had been written for him when he first started. 

Humor enhances our lives, so improve your comic abilities with “How to Write All Kinds of Kinds of Comedy Jokes”. Anyone from a comical newbie to a professional comedy writer can benefit from this series. Don’t let your comedy dreams pass you by! This book and this series can help you make others laugh! (See the guarantee below.) 

Volume 3: Tips on How to Write like Famous Comedians


This volume covers tips for writing like Woody Allen, Steve Martin, Brian Regan, and Mitch Hedberg and also offers pointers to help you write like yourself, or rather, a much funnier version of yourself. Makes a great companion to the first two volumes, teaching you how to write multiple jokes on a single topic. As well as what to do with the jokes you write! 

The trailer for Woody Allen’s movie “Love and Death” inspired me to think of film comedy. His story “The UFO Menace” made me want to write comedy. 

Steve Martin was such a strong comedic influence during my formative years. Made me want to perform standup. 

Brian Regan is my favorite current standup comedian. Besides me. His inflections, expressions, antics, and material teach us we can be truly hilarious without resorting to dirty tricks. 

I didn’t “discover” Mitch Hedberg until after he died. But his cadence, delivery, and fast-paced material teach us to go for the laughs. No monkeying around, just make people laugh. 

Table of Contents


Tips on How to Write Like Woody Allen 
Tips on How to Write Like Steve Martin 
Tips on How to Write Like Brian Regan 
Tips on How to Write Like Mitch Hedberg 
Some Quick Tips on How to Write Like Other Comics 
Rodney Dangerfield 
Phyllis Diller 
Jerry Seinfeld 
Steven Wright 
Tips on How to Write Like You 
What Makes You So Funny? 
Standup Comedy Set 
Performance Pointers 
A Look at Developing a Comic Persona 
What Are You Waiting For? 
Write. Review. Market. (Celebrate Each Success!) 
Humor-Man! (Or Humor-Woman!) 
How to Turn 1 Topic into 10, 20, or 50 + Jokes 
1 Topic / 10 Jokes 
1 Topic / 10 Jokes (Alternate Version) 
1 Topic / 20 Jokes 
1 Topic / 20 Jokes (Alternate Version) 
1 Topic / 50 Jokes 
Special Bonus Feature: How Woody Allen Improved His Moose Routine
Special Bonus Feature: A Dean Reads Book Review of Steve Martin’s “Born Standing Up”

Special Bonus Feature: How Brian Regan Improved His Pops Tarts Routine

Special Bonus Feature: The Comedic Brilliance of Mitch Hedberg’s Delivery

Special Bonus Feature: “The ‘Chicken Musket’ Secret to Comedy” 


Please Note: Volume 3 is being released before Volume 2. 

If this book gives you just one really great idea, you should reread it. Because you obviously missed something. But even so, one really great idea is still worth more than the cost of this book. Either way, I guarantee you will find something in this book to make you laugh and/or help you make others laugh. If not, return it in less than a week; and Amazon will issue a refund. You have nothing to lose and a world of laughter to gain, so click the Buy button now.

Kindle Price:$6.99


Woody Allen - The Moose

Uploaded on Aug 21, 2007 by


Woody Allen
Well, my wife was an immature woman; 
and, uh, that’s all I can say, she. 
See if this is not immature to you: 
I would be home in the bathroom, 
taking a bath; 
and my wife would walk right in, 
whenever she felt like, 
and sink my boats.

Steve Martin
I’m not into that one-night thing. 
I think a person should get to know someone, 
and even be in love with them, 
before you use and degrade them.


Dean Burkey
I found Nemo. 

He was at Red Lobster. 

Part of their combo platter. 

And he was delicious.

They ask the most insulting question 
when you check into a hospital. 

“What seems to be the problem?” 

“What seems? 
Well it seems; 
it seems like everything on my inside 
wants to be on my outside. 
But I’m no doctor.” 
What kind o’ condescending question.

I wanna be a race car passenger, 
just a guy who bugs the driver. 
“Say man, can I turn on the radio? 
You should slow down. 
Why we gotta keep going in circles? 
Can I put my feet out the window? 
Man, you really like Tide.”


Brian Regan-I Walked On The Moon (Full)

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Saturday, July 27, 2013

I Couldn't Wait Until Monday to Post This!

Get My Favorite Sampler FREE 
July 27-31, 2013

Book Description

 June 7, 2013

My Favorite Sampler


When you read this book, you'll enjoy my favorite selections from six of my books. I'll even let you in on a few secrets and tell you why I picked these selections to be my favorites.

My Favorite Chapter from “Monster Laughs”:
The Space Alien Chapter

My Favorite Story from “Seasons Without Reason”:
“Woo-Hoo! Happy Birthday to Me!”

My Favorite Chapter from “Exit Strategies”:
“Uh-they Ord-way Ake-fay”

My Favorite Chapter from “Channel Surfing”:
“Now’s My Chance To Be The Hero!”

My Favorite Section from “How to Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes Volume 1: How to Write Comedy Jokes”

My Favorite Adventure from “Heaven-Bent HUMOR: The DEAN Adventures”:
My Epic “Inside-Out” Adventure!

What a Deal!


One of the best deals a dollar can buy, this book presents my favorites for less than a buck!

Enjoy!
All the Best,
Dean Burkey

Product Details

  • File Size: 234 KB
  • Print Length: 76 pages
  • Publisher: http://heaven-bent.com (June 7, 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00D9W8LQ6
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled 
  • X-Ray: Not Enabled 
  • Lending: Enabled



Check Out These Samples from


From My Favorite Chapter from 
Monster Laughs”: 

Having encountered space aliens before, I can spot ‘em a mile away. Sometimes light years! Glowing in the dark and shooting lasers from their eyes are pretty big clues. My gut reaction to UFO reports? They’re hoaxes. In this case, an elaborate, global-wide hoax, but still a hoax. The problem with conducting effective research into UFO activity? Most reports are completely errant. But that doesn’t preclude the few that are only mostly errant.
Generally speaking, people who claim to see UFOs are the same as you and me in every respect, except for an excessive hankering for chewing tobacco, Nascar, and banjo music. (Actually, General Lee speaking would be: “Howdy folks, I’m General Lee; but you can call me Robert E.”) Moonshine entrepreneur Skeeter J. McCracker declared, “UFOs is as real as wrestlin’!” Odder still, the folks who say flying saucers are real, claim NASA faked the moon landings. But why would NASA do such a thing? Well, of course, to sell tons of Tang!

My Favorite Story from 
Seasons Without Reason”:
“Woo-Hoo! Happy Birthday to Me!”


“Here you go, Babe.  Happy birthday!”  Alex handed me what appeared to be a hastily-wrapped package and a hastily-written homemade greeting card.  “I saved you the hassle of having to open an envelope.”  
“Alex.  You’re always so thoughtful.”  I read the card.  “Happy Birthday, Babe!  Yours, Alex.”  
“So?  What do you think?”  
I can’t tell someone I love the detrimental truth, so I lied, hoping he’d catch my tone.  “You’ve touched me to my core.  I’m speechless.”  
“All right!”  He pumped his right fist victoriously.  He didn’t catch my tone.  Men!  “You want your present now?  Or after dinner?”  
“Dinner?  We’re going to dinner?”  Maybe he’s not so bad after all.  
“Yeah.  Your birthday dinner.  Pudding?  Did you forget today’s your birthday?”  
“Where are we going?”  
“That’s the surprise.  And since this is your birthday, you can keep griping if you want.”    
“Thanks?”  
“You’re welcome,” Alex bellowed enthusiastically.  He still didn’t catch my tone.  Oo!  

My Favorite Chapter from 
Exit Strategies”:
“Uh-they Ord-way Ake-fay”


Jack fidgeted and eyed the door, slowly stepping that way.  “Me?  I wanted to spare your feelings.”
“How did you spare my feelings?  All this time, I’ve been grieving and blaming God.”
“You shouldn’t blame God, when the culprit’s someone else.”
Patty clenched her fists.  
Jack raised his open hands in surrender.  “So sure, maybe I was trying to spare my feelings.  I know how painful it can be to get rejected, so I didn’t want to be the one to do that to another person, especially you Patty.”
Patty cocked her right fist.
Jack covered his face.  “I faked my death because I love you!”
Seeing her unclench her fist and lower her hands, Jack lowered his hands.  
“You love me?  That doesn’t make any sense.”  She re-cocked her right fist.
Jack covered his face again and blurted, “I felt inadequate.”
Patty unclenched her fist and lowered her hands again.  “That makes sense.”

My Favorite Chapter from 
Channel Surfing”:
“Now’s My Chance To Be The Hero!”


Two muscular male nurses Chip and Mark bounded toward Brad.  
Chip clenched his fists.  Rehabilitated out of a bike gang, he missed the adrenaline rush of a testosterone-fueled, hand-to-hand altercation.  “We’re trying to save this man’s life.”  
“So am I.”  Brad grabbed the gurney.  
As Chip and Mark huddled around him, Brad’s eyes rolled back.  “Back off punks!  Ya’ don’t scare me!”  
As Chip and Mark lunged forward, Brad yelped and ducked under the gurney.  
Dr. Monroe, Chip, Mark, and the rest of the medical team rolled their eyes.  What a goober.  Macho moron afraid of his own shadow.  
While the others considered him an easily frightened coward, Brad unlocked the wheels.  
As Chip and Mark reached under the gurney to nab him, Brad darted out the other side, wielding a scalpel and a hypodermic needle.  “Say, look what I found.”  
While the other medical personnel gasped and backed away, Chip stepped forward with clenched, pulsating fists.  
Brad brandished the scalpel and hypodermic needle.  “Split or be split!”  


The others nodded as they continued to devour their saber-toothed tiger steaks. The true caveman diet! 
Ogg replied, “To get to the other side.” 
Zorak, the alpha male leader of the group, sneered and said, “There is no other side of the sky.” He then clubbed Ogg, which garnered several hearty guffaws. 
But alas, thereafter, that joke remained lost for many, many millennia. 

My Favorite Adventure from 
Heaven-Bent HUMOR: The DEAN Adventures”: 
My Epic “Inside-Out” Adventure!


Screech! A pterodactyl swooped down to devour us, so I stepped in front of Lady Simone to protect her and threw the tracker into that rascally reptile’s mouth. 
Which would have worked out well, except that flying lizard kept circling us, summoning Zandor and his mindless minions our way. 
Elvis climbed a nearby tree, jumped onto the winged creature’s back, and called out to me: “I knew you were a hound dog!” He howled with glee and flew away. 
A fleet of Zandor’s mindless minions followed him in full force. 
After they disappeared over the mountains, I heard lots of explosions. So I may’ve accidentally caused the death of Elvis. But he died a hero. He died a king. 
I felt paralyzed by the thought. Elvis is dead?! And I mean, really, really dead. Not like before. Not like he faked it in our world. What a kick in the gut! When people ask me where I was when Elvis died, I can say, “I was inside the Inner Earth; and I caused his death.” 
I didn’t think I could feel any worse, but then I realized that, with Elvis out of the way, no one could stop Zandor and his mindless minions from annihilating the northern tribe. And eventually, everyone else on the top side of this planet I so love and adore. 

Dean Burkey



Cover Info:
My Favorite Sampler Cover Background: Gold Zoom by Sabine Sauermaul. Used with permission. Monster Laughs Cover: Copyright © 2012 by Dean Burkey. A self-taken picture of the author portraying The Mystery Hunter. All rights reserved. Seasons Without Reason Cover Art: “Wacky Watchful Eyes” Copyright © 2011 by Dean Burkey. All rights reserved. Exit Strategies Cover: The red wine in glass picture on the cover is from http://www.public-domain-image.com/food-and-drink-public-domain-images-pictures/wine-public-domain-images-pictures/red-wine-in-glass.jpg.html. Used with permission. 
Channel Surfing Cover: The cover includes the following pictures: Blank Monitor by Petr Kratochvil, Surfer Goes Airborne by Andrew Schmidt, A DVD Remote Control Isolated On A White Background by Benjamin Miller, and A Hand In A Business Suit Holding A Pistol also by Benjamin Miller. All used with permission. Thank you Petr, Andrew, and Benjamin twice. How to Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes Volume 1: How to Write Comedy Jokes Cover Photos: Cover photo of the author dressed as a jester. Copyright © 2009 by Scott Nelson. Thank you Scott. Heaven-Bent HUMOR: The DEAN Adventures Cover: The photo of the author running from a Monster Crab (a.k.a. Crab Cake Gone Wild) is a mock-up still created by Brad Hudson using footage from his film project “The Bad Clam”. The background picture is A Cloudy Blue Sky by Photo Rack and comes from: http://www.freestockphotos.biz/stockphoto/11000. Used with permission. Thank you Brad and Photo Rack. 

Friday, April 5, 2013

How to Write Comedy Jokes Now on Amazon





The cover photo of me portraying a jester was taken by Scott Nelson.

How to Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes
Volume 1:
How to Write Comedy Jokes
by
Dean Burkey


Book Description

 April 2, 2013
Comedy isn’t easy, but it just got easier with:

“How to Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes”


Must you be born funny to make people laugh? Groucho Marx wasn’t born with glasses, a mustache, and a cigar. Even SteveBorn Standing UpMartin wasn’t born wearing an arrow through his head. (Lucky for his mom, ‘cause that would have hurt!) Although Woody Allen might have been born with frizzy red hair and glasses.

Haven’t heard of me yet? You will. And others will hear of you too, when you apply my pointers. But why buy this book about comedy success from someone who’s not famous? Because the tips and techniques are sound.

Knowledge isn’t the only thing that leads to success. Fears and doubts thwart us. By following my own advice in this series, I will overcome what holds me back and succeed. So too, should you. Besides, if I wait until I’m famous to publish this book, people won’t believe I wrote it. They’ll think I hired a ghostwriter.

You can learn from anyone. The more people from whom you learn, the more you’ll know. If this book gives you just one really great idea, you should reread it. Because you obviously missed something. But even so, one really great idea is still worth more than the cost of this book.

A lifelong student of comedy, a real stand-up guy, an improv performer, and the author of books as varied as “Holy Laughter!” and the comedy novel “Monster Laughs”, Dean Burkey shares his thoughts and the tips and techniques he’s learned over the years in a series he wishes had been written for him when he first started.

Humor enhances our lives, so improve your comic abilities with “How to Write All Kinds of Kinds of Comedy Jokes”. Anyone from a comical newbie to a professional comedy writer can benefit from this series. Don’t let your comedy dreams pass you by! This book and this series can help you make others laugh! (See the guarantee below.)

Volume 1: “How to Write Comedy Jokes”


This book teaches various comedy theories, joke construction, including the third joke element not mentioned in most other books, ways to write comedy, ways to rewrite and improve comedy, tips, techniques, and encouraging words to help you write funny.

Table of Contents



The Building Blocks of Comedy
Where to Start
ISO Comedy Ideas
Connect with Your Audience
What Are You Passionate About?
The Dreaded Blank Page
Association Lists
What?!
O. P. M.
How To Write Comedy Jokes
Danger --> Safety (a.k.a. The JAWS Theory of Jocularity)
The Train Wreck Theory of Comedy
The Hocus Pocus Humor Theory
The Comedy Connection Concept
The Funny Formula (a.k.a. The Comedy Code)
Super Setups
Cool Connections
Funny Punches
Lots of Laughs
Write Unfunny/Mediocre Jokes
Ways to Improve Jokes
More Ways to Improve Jokes
The Secret to Comedy
A Glimpse at the Topics Covered by Volumes 2-4

Special Bonus Features:


How to Pick a Topic for Writing Jokes (a.k.a. "I Rolled the Dice Twice")
How I Wrote My Favorite Riddle for “Holy Laughter!
“The Secret to Comedy” from “Seasons Without Reason
“The Secret to Comedy 2”
“The History and Analysis of the Road-Crossing Chicken Joke”

Not Just Educational, But Entertaining Too!


Even if you don’t want to learn how to create comedy, you can still enjoy the many jokes contained herein, including the Special Bonus Feature spoof pieces: “The Secret to Comedy” (from “Seasons Without Reason”), “The Secret to Comedy 2”, and “The History and Analysis of the Road-Crossing Chicken Joke”.

I guarantee you will find something in this book to make you laugh and/or to help you make others laugh. If not, return it in less than a week; and Amazon will issue a refund. You have nothing to lose and a world of laughter to gain, so scroll down; and click the Buy Now button.


Product Details

  • File Size: 226 KB
  • Publisher: http://heaven-bent.com (April 2, 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00C68I1X2
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled 
  • X-Ray: Not Enabled 
  • Lending: Enabled


Photo by David Wehman

From How to Write Comedy Jokes:
Dates and mixed nuts. 
My social life sounds like a bag of granola. 

From How to Write Comedy Jokes:
“Results may vary.” 
That means it won’t work for you. 
It’ll only work for the happy people in the commercial. 
They’ll get cured. But you’ll spontaneously combust. 

From How to Write Comedy Jokes:
I’m on the Kangaroo Diet. 
That’s where you can eat 
whatever you can fit into your pouch; 
and then you hop around until your pouch becomes empty. 

From How to Write Comedy Jokes:
The problem with government is that it’s so political. 

From How to Write Comedy Jokes:
How is Emma Stone not the perfect woman? 
She’s gorgeous; she’s funny; and when the need arises, 
she can blast marauding zombies into smithereens. 

From How to Write Comedy Jokes:
Don’t think of it as voodoo. 
Think of it as Action-Figure Acupuncture. 




Whatever Man

Uploaded on Jun 1, 2007 by