Showing posts with label Steve Connelly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Steve Connelly. Show all posts

Friday, August 29, 2014

RAOR: Katy Perry's Hit Song ROAR Backwards


RAOR: 
Katy Perry's Hit Song 
ROAR Backwards

Here's The Song Forwards


Katy Perry - Roar (Official)

Published on Sep 5, 2013 by

Other than the lyrics snatching key lines 
from Survivor and Muhammed Ali
and the lack of a much needed
"Don't Try This At Home" notice, 

when she comes face to face 
with wild animals, 
especially the crocodile and tiger; 
I find the song empowering. 

Kind of a Shanna of the Jungle version 
of the Gloria Gaynor hit I Will Survive.



Fun song. 
Fun video. 
Clever. 
Upbeat. 
With snippets of humor here and there. 

Here's The Song Backwards


Katy Perry - Roar (Official Video) [Reversed]

Published on Sep 7, 2013 by

I don't know about you, 
but the first thing I noticed 
was that all the words were backwards. 

That means that the tattoo on her right arm 
which means: "Go With The Flow" 
now means: "Flow With The Go" 
Or: "Wolf With The Go" 
Or technically speaking: "wolF ehT htiW oG"

I had so much with my Carly Rae backwards post 
a couple years ago, 
so I tried to relive the fun six weeks ago 
with Ylvis backwards. 



With those songs; 
and this one, 
I didn't watch videos where they told me 
what was being said. 
Instead I listened for myself. 

Unfortunately, 
all I could hear was:
"Glory makes an Igo net.


Sounds innocent enough. 
But must be pretty important though, 
since that's the main line of the song. 

I wanted to remain as rational as possible, 
and certainly not jump to any crazy conclusions, 
so after a moment's thought, 
I immediately deduced 
that an Igo net is what demons use 
to steal the souls of unsuspecting villagers 
during the Dark Ages. 

In the demons' defense, 
it was dark, 
so maybe they weren't try to steal anyone's soul. 
They were just trick-or-treating; 
and, as usual, things just got out of hand. 

Putting two and two together, 
we can easily assume that if she's singing 
about demonic possession backwards, 
then forwards, 
the song must be about knitting a sweater. 

Ergo, 
the phrase could actually be: 
"Glory makes me wanna knit.



That actually makes sense, 
since the song came out a bit before fall last year. 
When everyone would need to knit sweaters. 

But, 
despite all my deductive reason 
and perverse logic. 
Ahem, 
I mean, pervasive logic. 

Turns out that Gloria Kampenski 
help Katy hook up a charger to her GPS

And so, 
as it turns out, 
with Igo being a brand of charger, 
as well as a type of computer network, 
I was absolutely right the first time. 

"Glory makes an Igo net."

Well, 
absolutely right, 
minus the demon possession allegations. 

And maybe the part about 
my using reasoning and logic. 

Like any guy, 
gazing into Katy Perry's 
captivating and hypnotic blue  eyes, 
could ever use reasoning and logic. 

(That was supposed to be a compliment.)

(And this was supposed to be fun.)

(Thank you Katy for having a sense of humor.)

(And thank you Gloria Kampenski, 
whose name I can't forget. 
Now I know whom to call 
when I need an Igo net.)

For More Backwards Music Fun, 
Check Out My Previous Posts: 
This Is Crazy! A Call Me Maybe Exposé
and
YAS XOF EHT SEOD TAHW: 
What Does The Fox Say? Backwards!

All The Best,

Jungle George: The Biggest Swing in Jungle History

Published on Mar 31, 2013 by


Roar Black Tshirts
Look at more Roar T-Shirts at zazzle

Brian Regan
You see weird things driving. 
I’ve never understood log trucks. 
Sometimes you’ll be out on the highway, 
you see two big giant trucks loaded up with logs; 
and they pass each other on the highway. 
I don’t understand that. 
I mean, if they need logs over there; 
and they need ‘em over there; 
you'd think a phone call 
would save ‘em a whole lot of trouble.

Steve Connelly: 
Trees that grow in smoggy cities 
are needed to make carbon paper.



Dean Burkey:
Oh, you wanted to watch Water for Elephants
I must’ve misunderstood what you said. 
‘Cause I got Rivers for Rhinos instead. 
I hope that’s okay. 
If not, I also have Puddles for Pandas
Tributaries for Tigers
and Melted Ice for Marsupials
They misnamed the movie anyway; 
it should be called “Water for Elephant”. 
(‘Cause there’s only one elephant.) 



Rod Schmidt: 
I still have my Christmas Tree. 
I looked at it today. 
Sure enough, 
I couldn’t see any forests.

Steven Wright
The other day when I was walking through the woods, 
I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle 
making shadows of people on a tree.




Please Note: The following video contains language some may find offensive.

Richard Pryor - In the jungle

Uploaded on Jun 24, 2009 by

Sunday, June 1, 2014

What About Five Birds with Two Stones?


Photo Source: Funny Goose Sitting by Karen Arnold

What About Five Birds 
with Two Stones?

Who created the expression “killing two birds with one stone”?  Did a caveman throw a rock at a vulture so hard, the granite killed that one; and then, in a flurry of feathers, ricocheted and kiboshed the next one over too?  “Ugh, Og kill two birds with one stone.  Rock on.”

How can a stitch in time save nine?  Based on which logistics and laws of physics?  Why is time unraveling; and what do we use to stitch it?  And why does one save only nine?  If there’s an impending disaster threatening a town of 100,000 people, we’ll need over 10,000 stitches in time!  That’s a lot of sewing, even with a Singer.  

“Six of one; and half a dozen of another.”  Why not six of each?  Or half a dozen of each?  And what is the one; and what’s the other?  Maybe apples and oranges.  Six apples and half a dozen oranges.

Whoever created the expression “easy as pie” must’ve bought the frozen thaw-before-serving kind.

“The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.”  Duh!  Apple trees grow smaller than oak trees; and an apple’s too heavy for a mild wind to move.

“You can’t judge a book by its cover.”  Don’t tell the publishers that.  They spend lots of money printing fancy covers to make us want to read their books.  And if you’re not reading the cover, what’s making you pick a certain book?  Even Oprah reads the covers.

“Dressed to beat the band.”  Sounds like an outfit involving leather and chains?  Or could just be track clothes.  Where they wear streamlined clothes to help them beat the band in a foot race.  But it’s not a fair race since the band members must carry their instruments.  Maybe that’s what that expression means.  Even if you wear heels, you should at least beat the hefty fellow hauling the tuba.

In 1820, a peasant boy stole a hot coal from city hall and hid the purloined ember in his pants’ pocket.  Seeing smoke sear from the boy’s trousers, the mayor asked if he stole a burning coal.  The boy denied his crime, but as his pocket burst into flames, city council members pointed their fingers at him and chanted, “Liar, liar, pants on fire.”  And, of course, from that incident came the expression, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”

Click Here to Shop at Amazon!



BILL COSBY - 1963 - Standup Comedy

Published on Apr 15, 2014 by



Brian Regan
I like watching golf on TV, and I read recently-- 
This is true. NBC Sports, on their golf telecast-- 
They got caught putting in bird noises for ambiance.
Birds aren't even there.
And a bird lover called 'em on it, 
because he was hearing a bird that was not indigenous 
to where the tournament was being held.
Wow.
Can you imagine being the guy 
who had to field that phone call?
"Uh, yeah, Sports Department." 
"Uh, yeah, hi. Listen, uh, does this sound right to you?" 
(Whistles like a bird.) 
"No, that don't. Um-- 
I-I don't know what you're talkin' about." 
"Yeah. Yeah, apparently you don't.
Yeah, I guess I'm supposed to believe 
the Blue-Breasted Whip-poor-willow 
has decided to alter its annual migratory route 
to enjoy a little golf." 
"What?" 
"Maybe for that reason you should try"-- 
(Whistles like another bird.) 
"Okay. I get it. I got one.
Cuckoo! Cuckoo. Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs." 

Steve Connelly: 
Every day, the hummingbird eats its own weight in food. 
You may wonder how it weighs the food. 
It doesn't. 
It just eats another hummingbird. 

Dean Burkey
Of course, life is hard. 
If life were easy, 
everybody would be doing it. 

Mitch Hedberg
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. 
Unless, of course, they enjoy many broken windows.

Steven Wright
I can levitate birds. 
No one cares.


Bill Cosby Performs Standup

Published on May 8, 2014 by
The Arsenio Hall Show

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Sitting in the Hot Seat



Photo Source: Electric Chair by Janette Fuller

Sitting in the Hot Seat

Gary the guard raced down the hall 
to the execution chamber. 
“Stop! Wait!” 

He sighed, having arrived 
before the executioner threw the switch. 

Although a hardened criminal, 
convicted of murder and double parking, 
Chad “The Knuckles-Cracker” Morrison’s eyes moistened. 

“Have I been given a reprieve?” he asked, 
hoping to live another day, 
since this was Fried Fish Friday 
at the Pennsylvania Penitentiary. 
(A.k.a. The Penn Pen.) 

Gary shook his head, 
held out his thermos, 
and said, “Naw. My coffee cooled off, 
so I thought I’d get you to hold it for a warm-up.”



really hilarious commercial

Uploaded on Oct 7, 2006 by

Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. 
During the Civil War, 
my great uncle fought for the west!

Phyllis Diller
I once wore a peek-a-boo blouse. 
People would peek and then they’d boo. 

Dean Burkey
Someone dies every thirteen minutes, 
because of negligent driving. 
So if you’re going to drive negligently, 
only do so in increments of twelve minutes or less. 

Steve Connelly
The doctor says he has to amputate all of me.

Steven Wright
Okay, so what’s the speed of dark?

The following two videos are continuations
from yesterday's Jerry Seinfeld video:
Click Here to Watch Jerry2.
&


Jerry3

Uploaded on Jul 20, 2011 by

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Am I Not Foolish Enough to Rush In?


Photo Source: Cosmic Adventure by Sharon Apted

Am I Not 
Foolish Enough to Rush In?
Okay, so I finally opened a portal to another dimension.
It wasn't easy. 

But when is it ever?

Well, sure.
When you've got the Turbo Deluxe Portal-Opener 3000,
it's always easy. 

But I don't have that yet.
It's on my Birthday Wish List every year, 

but I can't convince
Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and Richard Branson 

to pool their fortunes together to buy me one. 

I don't even have the Acme Portal-Popper 2.0. 

Not even magic beans and an aluminum foil helmet!

I have to make do with my wits. 

Yeah, 
that's all I'm working with here. 

So I used masking tape, uranium, and a kazoo, 
along with some leftover parts from a broken toaster; 
and whammo!

I opened a portal to another dimension!

All that I've ever wanted awaited me. 
I just had to jump through and hope for the best.
Or is it hope for the best and jump through? 

Either way, 
I couldn't do it. 

It's like trying to date again, 
after giving your heart and soul 
to a raving psycho. 

Tends to make you shy. 

Or more shy.

Hesitant even.

They say "Fools rush in!"

Am I Not Foolish Enough to Rush In?

Because I know several people 
who will argue that I am 
more than the maximum amount of foolish.

But after what happened to the Fargon dimension 
and that crazy place where they worshiped "HeeHaw", 
I hesitated. 

Worried that I might accidentally unleash havoc 
on some unsuspecting universe. 

I try to bring joy and laughter wherever I go, 
but sadly, 
it doesn't always work out that way. 

The problem? 

My best guess is: 
Petty jealousy on the part of others. 

I flew over the cuckoo's nest; 
and they're jealous, 
'cause they're still sitting there, 
trying to lay eggs. 

Obviously, 
I don't mean you. 
I mean the people you can't stand.

You know the ones. 
And come to think of it, 
knowing them, 
they're probably jealous of you too. 

So you know exactly what I'm going through. 

I'm so glad we could share this bonding moment.



The following video contains a word or two that some may find offensive:


The best of one line comedians

Uploaded on Jul 1, 2011 by

Mitch Hedberg
I don’t have a girlfriend. 
But I do know a woman 
who’d be mad at me for saying that. 

Steve Martin
There is one thing I would break up over, 
and that is if she caught me with another woman. 
I won’t stand for that. 

Dean Burkey
From the soon-to-be revised edition of 
Heaven-Bent HUMOR: The DEAN Adventures:
‘Tis better to have loved a deranged psycho 
and fled for one’s life, 
than never to have loved at all. 

Steve Connelly
I listen to the police band on my CB radio. 
Once I dialed 911 
and dedicated a crime to my girlfriend.

Steven Wright
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. 
When she’s asleep, 
I go over there and write misspelled words on them. 




Sometimes the heckler has the best line

Uploaded on Mar 20, 2011 by