Wednesday, March 20, 2013

An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away?


An Apple a Day 
Keeps the Doctor Away?

They say "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
But they never said the apple couldn't be in a pie!

Or part of a cobbler. 
My apples like to cobble! 

How about a hearty bowl of Apple Jacks?
You keep the doctor away; 
and you get a free prize inside 
every delicious, specially-marked box. 
(While supplies last.) 

They have to say "While supplies last" 
in case there's a zombie apocalypse; 
because the undead like nothing better than 
a big bowl of sugary breakfast cereal. 

Forget apples! 
What about a costly malpractice suit?
That should keep the doctor too; 
and you might make yourself a few bucks. 

Your attorney will make lots and lots of bucks, 
but you might make yourself a few too.

But what's so bad about the doctor 
that we keep wanting to keep him away? 
When his next birthday rolls around, 
we can all chip in and get him 
some breath mintscologne, and Febreze

And let's get him a thermometer too, 
so he'll know just how cold his stethoscope is!

You know what though? 
I'll bet he keeps that thing in the freezer, 
'cause he thinks it's funny to make us shiver. 
Which also explains why 
he makes us strip down in that cold room. 
And that's why we want to keep him away!

All the Best,


Author Unknown:
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, 
and a guy comes over and asks 
"Are you reading that?" 
I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. 
I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.

Author Unknown:
A man walks into a bar 
with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: 
''Pint please, and one for the road.''

I failed my driver’s test. 
The guy asked me "what do you do at a red light?" 
I said, I don’t know… look around, listen to the radio…

Author Unknown:
Our dog left so many disgusting stains on our carpet 
that we had to buy new carpet. 
I didn't want to be stupid about the new purchase, 
so I cut the stains out of the old carpet.
When the carpet guy asked what color we wanted, 
I pulled out the stained patches and said, 
"Yeah, can you match this color!"

I went to a fight the other night 
and a hockey game broke out.

Funniest Joke I Ever Heard 1984 Brooke Shields  
Uploaded on Sep 15, 2010 by
AwardsShowNetwork

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