As Wikipedia will tell you,
Edward Thorndike coined the phrase
“the halo effect”
“in his 1920 article
‘The Constant Error in Psychological Ratings’.” *
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect
So I now know the name of the ailment
that’s haunted me all my life.
I just don’t know if there’s a cure.
The Halo Effect
is when we become so enamored
with something of merit
about a person (or organization)
that we ignore his/her (or its) flaws.
When I see a good-looking woman,
nothing else about her can dissuade my affections.
So she’s an ax-murderer.
She’s helping curb over-population.
Oh yeah?
What are you doing to help curb over-population?
If you’re not part of the solution;
you’re just annoying.
Unless you’re totally hot too!
In which case,
allow me to quote Matt LeBlanc
as Joey Tribbiani on “Friends”:
“How you doin’?”
Edward Thorndike calls this the Halo Effect,
but everyone else just calls it:
Being a man.
Or something like that.
With the word man being replaced
by devil-dog type phrases.
The worst case scenario for me,
or the best case scenario
if she’s not an ax-murderer and we click like crazy,
without either one of us being crazy is:
A decent looking woman
with a friendly smile
in a pink Supergirl shirt
wearing Lisa Loeb glasses
while singing Beatle songs,
quoting lines from Jaws,
and making culinary delights
with peanut butter, chocolate, and bananas.
Wow!
Clinically speaking,
I could not be held responsible
for whatever silly shenanigans she’d talk me into.
And if it’s that much of a tsunami of a halo effects,
I wouldn’t want a cure.
Still,
it’d be nice to appreciate a woman for who she is,
instead of chasing after her
like a dog salivating after a postal worker.
Ha-ha-ha!
Treating a woman like a human being
who has her own hopes and dreams,
instead of treating her like
a goddess, an angel,
or a space alien from a superior race.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
I have no idea what that would be like.
the real question becomes:
How can I make the Halo Effect work for me?
And of course,
I fully realize that with great Halo Powers
comes great Halo Responsibility.
Until next time,
I’ll be in the Halo-Cave.
Unless I see the Halo-Signal in the night sky,
in which case,
I’ll drive around town in the Halo-Mobile.
All the Best,
Jerry Seinfeld:
There is no such thing as an attention span.
People have infinite attention
if you are entertaining them.
Phyllis Diller:
I’ll tell you what I don’t like about Christmas office parties:
Looking for a new job afterward.
Dean Burkey:
I don’t mind constructive criticism
as long as it’s given by a bikini supermodel.
And she’s not criticizing me.
Mitch Hedberg:
I was at a bar, and this guy bumped into me;
and he did not apologize; and he said, “Move!”
I thought that was rude, so I said, “Go to @#%&!”
Then I started to run. He caught up to me.
He had a mustache, a goatee, a pair of earrings,
sunglasses, a ponytail; and he was wearing a hat.
He said, “Hey, you got a lot of nerve!”
I said, “Hey, you got a lot of ... cranium accessories!”
Steven Wright:
I saw this guy hitchhiking
with a sign that said “Heaven”.
So I hit him.
