How to Become a Super Hero
(Without Having Your Home Planet Explode)
Although you may be a mere mortal, like so many of us are, you too can become a super hero!
The best part is, you don’t need to have your home planet with the red sun explode necessitating your being rocketed to Earth with its empowering yellow sun.
Nor do you need to have your parents murdered before your eyes on the streets of Gotham City.
Nor do you need to stand next to a bunch of chemicals when lightning strikes.
For Marvel fans, you don’t need to be bitten by a radioactive spider.
Nor must you get caught in the heart of nuclear explosion (gamma only).
Nor do you need to be bombard by cosmic rays.
How can you become a super hero?
First, figure out:
What do super heroes do?
They fly. Or swing on Bat-ropes. Or run fast.
Or they shoot webs. Or smash puny humans and crumple tanks like accordions. Or stretch, turn invisible, burn, or, again, smash things.
Okay, they do that. Or some of that. Or something like that.
Bottom line is:
Heroes save lives.
Isn’t that just super?
Super Dee Duper as some might say.
(I.e., Barney, my niece, and people who work overtime in glue factories.)
Every time you donate blood, you save three lives.
Three lives!
You can donate every eight weeks. On average, you can save 19.5 lives a year.
That’s a whole lot more than are saved by the lifeguard in “Jaws”.
You can become a superhero without having to wear a mask, a cape, and spandex.
You can still wear those, if you want. But don’t act surprised by the funny looks you receive.
You can save three lives a pop. Or rather poke.
Not only do you get to save lives without having to create a secret identity or duck into a phone booth (good luck finding one of those) or a janitor’s closet, you might get a free T-shirt and/or a bumper sticker, magnet, or Coolie Cup (TM).
The next time you see the Blood Donor Signal blazing in the night sky above the city:
Remember, the life you save may be own.
Or a supermodel who may turn out to be your future spouse.
Blood-Donor Man! With amazing blood-donating powers far beyond those of mere mortal men.
Roll up your sleeves;
and save three lives please.
Remember, the life you save may be own.
Or a supermodel who may turn out to be your future spouse.
Supermodels love superheroes!
Blood-Donor Man! With amazing blood-donating powers far beyond those of mere mortal men.
"Donor-Man, Donor-Man, does whatever a donor can."
Regardless of the fanfare, heroic high, and catchy theme song, it’s the right thing to do.
Am I sure about this?
I’m ... O positive.
By the way, supermodels love superheroes, but not necessarily the fans of superheroes.
When donating blood, be sure to follow the advice of the late Mitch Hedberg:
The blood you donate to him won't reach those in need.
And the bad doctor will put you under his spell and force you to do his evil bidding.
Which will prevent you from enjoying the sunshine ever again.
But hey, if you aren't fond of the sun, love the night life, and enjoy doing someone else's evil bidding, don't let me stop you. Just don't be surprised when villagers with torches and wooden stakes chase you in droves.
Plus, you won't be called heroic; and the wooden stakes won't feel comfortable.
They're often quite splintery.
So your best bet is to donate to the people who can get your blood to those who need it most.
Besides, Dr. Acula won't give you a free T-shirt.
And he's a real pain in the neck.
Of course, none of the aforementioned superheroes are real. The real heroes are parents, pastors, teachers, firefighters, EMTs, police officers, soldiers, nurses, missionaries, World Vision volunteers, etc.
Regardless of the fanfare, heroic high, and catchy theme song, it’s the right thing to do.
Am I sure about this?
I’m ... O positive.
By the way, supermodels love superheroes, but not necessarily the fans of superheroes.
When donating blood, be sure to follow the advice of the late Mitch Hedberg:
"Don't go see DR. ACULA!"
The blood you donate to him won't reach those in need.
And the bad doctor will put you under his spell and force you to do his evil bidding.
Which will prevent you from enjoying the sunshine ever again.
But hey, if you aren't fond of the sun, love the night life, and enjoy doing someone else's evil bidding, don't let me stop you. Just don't be surprised when villagers with torches and wooden stakes chase you in droves.
Plus, you won't be called heroic; and the wooden stakes won't feel comfortable.
They're often quite splintery.
So your best bet is to donate to the people who can get your blood to those who need it most.
That will make you a super hero
to at least three people!
Besides, Dr. Acula won't give you a free T-shirt.
And he's a real pain in the neck.
Of course, none of the aforementioned superheroes are real. The real heroes are parents, pastors, teachers, firefighters, EMTs, police officers, soldiers, nurses, missionaries, World Vision volunteers, etc.
The real Superman doesn't wear blue tights and a red cape either. He wore a crown of thorns and shed His Holy and Innocent Blood to pay for our sins. God loves us so much that He sent His Only Begotten Son Jesus to die for us. We receive God's free gift of Redemption through faith in the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ. We repent of our selfish ways and trust in Jesus for our eternal Salvation.
The Lord shed His blood to save our souls. The least we can do is share a pint or two every 8-16 weeks.
Come back again soon, same Blood-Donating Time, same Blood-Donating Channel!
Blessings & Joy,
Dean Burkey
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