I Dream of the DirectTV Genie

I Dream of 
the DirectTV Genie

by 

Dean Burkey

Supermodel Hannah Davis
as the DirectTV Genie

If the DirectTV Genie gave me three wishes, I can assure you, that none of them would be about programming. 

After all, the only reason we watch TV is because we don't have someone mega-gorgeous granting us wishes! 

Which is why we never see Brad Pitt, Bradley Cooper, or especially Derek Jeter winning contests about TV Trivia. 

And yes, I admit it, one of my wishes would be about obtaining spider powers. 

The other two would revolve around everlasting love and chocolate. 

If I could choose only one wish?  Hmm.  That depends.  

Is the chocolate fat-free without tasting fat-free? 

And would the spider powers include web-shooters? 

All the Best,

Dean

Jerry Seinfeld
Where lipstick is concerned, 
the important thing is not color, 
but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

Phyllis Diller
No matter what you look like, 
marry a man your own age. 
Then as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.


Anjelah Johnson

Uploaded on Feb 7, 2007 by
ComedyTimeDir

Daunting Date Ads

Daunting Date Ads

Photo Source: Love by Junior Libby

I’m too exciting for women.  Most of them want someone boring.  It’s true.  Their date ads say they don’t want men who are into playing games.  

But I say, what’s wrong with Pictionary?  

It’s like charades on paper!  

If they don’t want to have fun, I don’t need them either.  Not when I’ve got FreeCell and Minesweeper.  

Although a little Twister would be fun.  

I mean, when the right girl comes along.  


I saw a date ad by a woman who said she was looking for an intelligent lover.  

Either the dorks she’s been dating don’t know what they’re doing.  

Or instead of “Oh baby, oh baby!”, she wants to hear “E = M C Square” or insightful quotes from Nietzche or Kierkegard.  

Or maybe she just wants someone who can program her DVR.  

So she won’t miss Ellen or The View.  


A lady who doesn’t include a picture in her date ad must have something to hide.  The chances she’s a supermodel who doesn’t want to be judged based solely on her looks are slimmer than the chances of winning the lottery.  

So instead of wasting your time and money and getting your hopes up, only to have them dashed to the ground and run over by a proverbial steamroller, buy a lottery ticket and hope for the best.  

If you win, you can afford to date a supermodel.  

Or better yet, spend your money wisely.  Like on funny books by Dean Burkey, so when you meet someone special, you can entertain her with your wit and charm.  

Okay, you can entertain her with my wit and charm.  

But I don’t mind, as long as your checks clear.  

Hurry!  Before my Kindle book prices go up December 1! 

Blessings & Joy,

Dean

This video was uploaded to YouTube by tabysbroom on Apr 25, 2011