Some of My Favorite Rodney Dangerfield Jokes

I'm busy getting a book ready to promote, 
so please enjoy this reposting of 
Some of My Favorite Rodney Dangerfield Jokes 
from My Favorite Blog:

Some of My Favorite 

Rodney Dangerfield Jokes

November 22, 1921 – October 5, 2004

As far as I know,
Rodney Dangerfield wrote all of the following jokes:

When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.

My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!

Once when I was lost...I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him...Do you think we'll ever find them? He said...I don't know kid......there are so many places they can hide.

I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

What a childhood I had.  My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist.  That kid didn't help me at all.

Uploaded by ClassicTVBlog on May 4, 2007

I never got girls when I was a kid. One girl told me, `Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. There was nobody home.

I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd get.

Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every room he leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm. Last night he went on the paper four times - three of those times I was reading it.

When I started in show business, I played one club that was so far out, my act was reviewed in Field and Stream.

It's been a rough day. I got up this morning, put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

I met the surgeon general, he offered me a cigarette!

I was watching the fights; and a hockey game broke out. 

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.  Then we met.

When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names — hers and her mother's.

I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher"!

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

I told my doctor I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair.

Blessings & Joy,

Dean

For more about Rodney Dangerfield, visit Heaven-Bent to read my post: Remembering Rodney Dangerfield (A comedian to the end, and beyond, even his tombstone is funny.)

  

Remembering Rodney Dangerfield

Remembering

Rodney Dangerfield

November 22, 1921 – October 5, 2004

Most people who aren't comedians, and maybe even many comedians today, don't realize what a great man Rodney Dangerfield was. 

Born Jacob Cohen, he changed his name to Jack Roy, became a comedy writer in his teens, and began to perform at age 19. 

After about a decade of struggling, he took a job selling aluminum siding. 

Over a decade later, he adopted a name used by Jack Benny for one of his characters to use as his stage name: 

Rodney Dangerfield

Uploaded by SOLANORICH on Oct 15, 2010

With a head full of one-liners and a heart of gold, once he achieved his dream, Rodney opened his own club and worked hard to help other comics achieve theirs too. He gave a lot of famous comics their start. 

Uploaded by TonyMountaina on Apr 2, 2009

Dangerfield knew how hard it had been for himself to make it in comedy, so he helped others get their start. That's what I call a totally topnotch dude.

Funny to the end, and beyond, 

even his grave marker gets a laugh: 

Blessings & Joy,

Dean

Please Note: This post includes excerpts from my book: How to Write Comedy Jokes

For a better sampling of Rodney Dangerfield's comedy, visit My Favorite Blog to read my post: Some of My Favorite Rodney Dangerfield Jokes.