Showing posts with label sharks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sharks. Show all posts

Monday, November 10, 2014

Vegan Gators & Veggie Sharks


Vegan Gators 

Veggie Sharks

Don’t think you’re safe, just because you swim upon a vegan gator, or a veggie shark. 

In the murky waters in which they dwell, and through their thick, clouded corneas, to them you look just like a screaming, splashing carrot. 

Or a spastic serving of succotash. 

And once they bite into you, all they see is ketchup. 


carrot top STARSEARCH

Published on Jun 24, 2012 by
Carrot Top

Mitch Hedberg:
I like the public hot-tub at the hotels. 
I like when a guy is already in there, 
I say, “Hey, do you mind if I join you?” 
Then I go turn the heat up; 
and I add some carrots and onions. 

Brian Regan
My doctor also told me to, uh, 
you know, uh, eat more fruit. 
So, I had some Pop Tarts this morning. 
Nice thin layer in there. 

Mitch Hedberg:
They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. 
I tried to make it at home. 
There’s more to it than that. 

Dean Burkey:
(From “How to Write Comedy Jokes: 
How to Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes Book 1): 
If only more people would become vegetarians, 
we’d get seated quicker at the steakhouse.

Mitch Hedberg:
If carrots got you drunk, 
rabbits would be messed up.



The vegetable "crisper" (Mark Schiff

- very funny stand-up comedy

Uploaded on Jul 11, 2011 by

Monday, September 22, 2014

Ghost Shark Movie Review

 
Photo Source: Ghost Shark [Blu-ray]

Ghost Shark 
Movie Review


 
 Photo Source: 
Adult or Child's Man Eater Shark Hat

Spoiler Alert: As can be expected, Ghost Shark was a silly movie. Which is fine, except when the filmmakers defy the rules of the world they created. The shark’s head gets blown off with a hand grenade, but then the head’s intact on its corpse. Plus, after getting killed with a grenade exploding inside its mouth, the shark swims away to a haunted cave. 


Made no sense. Not that the concept of a ghost shark made sense, but still, you can’t violate the rules and logic of the world you create, no matter how crazy those rules and that logic may be. 


The idea of a shark coming out of any body of water is cool. But if the shark’s a ghost and can pass through any objects, how is it able to chomp on people? (Or maybe I just prefer my screenplay Sharks on a Plane so much more. Crazy as mine is, at least it makes some semblance of sense and features humor, suspense, romance, character arcs, and a whole lot of fun! Everything you want in a movie with only half the calories! Or something like that. If you are, or if you know, a movie mogul, hook me up!) 


Cute at the end of Ghost Shark that they ask what day it is; and it’s Tuesday like the ending of Jaws. Nice homage, except that the surviving characters swim out to sea instead of back to land like in Jaws. I kept expecting a real (non-ghost) shark to attack. Who goes swimming after seeing so many of his/her friends and acquaintances killed by a shark, even if it was a ghost shark? 


Ghost Shark Trailer (2013)



Published on Jul 16, 2013 by





Author Unknown: 
(From: http://theoatmeal.com/djtaf/j/20)
What did one shark say to the other 
while eating a clownfish?
... This tastes funny.

Dean Burkey:
I don’t want to insult the man, 
so let me just say that he’s a swell guy and all that, 

but he’s not the sharpest shark at the feeding frenzy.

Ray Divine

Stealing from a thief 
is like paddling with your hands 
in shark-infested waters.

Dean Burkey:

No one wants to die a virgin. 
Especially if you’re a virgin being fed to sharks. 

Author Unknown: 
(From: http://jokes4us.com/animaljokes/sharkjokes.html)
What do you call a solitary shark 

... A lone shark.


Razzle-Dazzle with Zazzle



Funny Stand Up Comedy about Shark

Uploaded on Jul 29, 2011 by


Friday, August 8, 2014

Happy Shark Week!

This Post Is In Honor Of Shark Week 
Which Starts This Sunday: August 10, 2014
On The Discovery Channel!

Shark Watching TV Postcards
Create Post cards at zazzle

Happy Shark Week!
by
Dean Burkey

No matter how frightening 
the the Discovery Channel’s sharks are 
during Shark Week
just keep telling yourself: 
“It’s only a documentary. 
It’s only a documentary.
Bikini Lagoon, Bikini Atoll, Marshall Islands, Post Cards

If you want to feel close to someone, 
share a shark cage off the Great Barrier reef. 
Nothing helps people bond better 
than the threat of imminent death. 
Or chocolate. 


Shark Week: The Great Bites Collection

A shark without a dorsal fin 

wouldn’t be able to control where he swims, 
but he’d be a lot better at sneaking up on people. 


William Mark Air Swimmer Flying Shark

Did you know that porcupines float in water? * 
How odd is that? 
If you’re on a sinking boat with a porcupine, 
what are you going to do? 
Do I want to get poked? 
Or do I want to drown? 
If I get poked and bleed, 
they’ll be sharks all around. 
Why couldn’t a floating animal be something cuddly? 
Like a pillow-otamus. 


Bruce, Nemo and Dory 2 iPhone 5 Cover
Bruce, Nemo and Dory 2 iPhone 5 Cover by disney
View Sharks Casemate Cases online at zazzle

Enjoy Shark Week!
And may all your sharks swim happily ever after. 
Without having to nimble on you; 
or anyone you love. 



 
Neekor(TM) Women 3D Skeleton Digital Print Backless Swimsuits 
One Piece Sleeveless Wetsuit - Big Mouth Shark

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How Jaws Should Have Ended

Uploaded on Jun 24, 2011 by
How It Should Have Ended


Shop Amazon 
Contract Cell Phones & Service Plans

Author Unknown:
(From: http://rubbercat.net/text/sharkjokes.html)
Q: What did the shark plead in the murder case?
A: Not gill-ty!

Author Unknown: 
(From: http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/sharkjokes.html)
I saw a man at the beach screaming, Help, shark, help! 
I laughed because I knew 
the shark wasnt going to help him. 

Dean Burkey:
Okay, I’ll go into the shark tank. 
But first, I’ll need  a suit of armor 
and a pair of Depends. 


Click Here to Watch 
The Believe Me Movie Trailer

 
From: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/381891243373180243/

Darren Brinkworth:
(From: http://youtu.be/rXJjaRMp9ck)
I wanna make a TV show about three surfers and a shark. 
It’s gonna be called “Two and a Half Men”. 

Ray Divine
If a boatload of pot ever sank 
and got eaten by sharks, 
that bad case of the munchies could cause those sharks 
to cut a beach city’s population in half! 
I dont want to insult the man, 
so let me just say that he’s a swell guy and all that, 
but he’s not the sharpest shark at the feeding frenzy. 




Live Every Week Like it's Shark Week unBasket Gift Basket


What If 'Jaws' Was A Disney Movie?

Uploaded on Dec 8, 2011 by




For More Shark Fun, 
Enjoy My Previous Posts: 

Shark Movies

The Second One Fun



Full Throttle Fat Loss