Showing posts with label funny jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny jokes. Show all posts

Monday, November 3, 2014

So Long Superman


So Long Superman





Has anyone talked to Superman lately? 
I just don’t get that guy. 
I kept thinking of how he’s always helping others; 
and no one seems to do anything for him. 
Except for maybe Lois Lane, 
but that’s none of my business. 


Source: http://memebase.cheezburger.com/puns/tag/superman

So I thought I’d get him a thank you gift 
for stopping all those meteorites 
from hitting the Daily Planet building. 
I thought long and hard and realized 
he could make whatever he wanted 
the way he wanted it 
much better than anything I could make 
or buy for him. 
But then it hit me! 
A fragment from his home planet. 



So I gave him one. 
And, of course, I put it in a lead box 
so I wouldn’t ruin the surprise. 
And I wrote a nice note, 
‘cause that’s what I do. 
But it’s been six weeks; 
and I haven’t heard a word from him. 
Not a thank you. 
Nothing. 



Even Clark Kent, 
my main contact when trying to reach Superman, 
won’t return my calls. 
His receptionist covers for him really well too, 
always acting like he’s not there; 
she doesn’t know where he is; 
and no one’s heard from him in six weeks. 
I don’t get it. 
I’m just trying to be a nice guy. 



What else can I do to be nice? 
Hmm, 
maybe I can give a Samson a haircut. 

3 Doors Down - Kryptonite

Uploaded on Nov 21, 2009 by

Author Unknown: 
(From: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/superherojokes.html)
Q: What did Superman say 
when he married two women on the same day? 
A: "That's mighty bigamy!"  
Q: What did Lex Luthor say 
when he did the same thing, 
then killed the women? 
A: "That's awful bigamy!"  

Dean Burkey
“What? Superman? You’re allergic to green rocks? 
I thought you were allergic to dairy. 
Or gluten.” 


Superman & Seinfeld American Express Commercial 1

Uploaded on Feb 6, 2007 by

Author Unknown: 
(From: My Username at https://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100521012822AA8AtsC)
Superman and Chuck Norris 
once bet on an arm wrestling match. 
The loser had to wear his underwear 
on the outside of his clothes.

Dean Burkey:
I have a friend who’s crazy about “Smallville.” 
Sure, it’s a fascinating show. 
But it’s not real. 
That’s not how Superman and Lois Lane really met.


The Dark Knight Meets Superman

Uploaded on Jul 15, 2009 by

Dean Burkey:
What's the one thing Superman has 
that Batman doesn't have?
(Besides flight, super strength, super hearing, 
super vision, heat vision, super speed, etc.)
... A super hot cousin: 

Sunday, October 26, 2014

My Favorite Comedian Who Still Performs Standup



My Favorite Comedian 
Who Still Performs Standup




Sadly, at this moment, My Favorite Comedian Who Still Performs Standup isn't even me! I'm still my favorite comedian. If only because I get most of my jokes. Almost all of 'em! It's like we have the exact same sense of humor! So much so that I could be a clone of myself! Hmm. Now I wonder if I am. 

As you already know from my books about comedy, especially "How To Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes: Volume 3: How to Write like Famous Comedians", and from previous blog posts. Brian Regan is my favorite comedian who still performs standup, since I'm not doing so at this time. My other favorites include Woody Allen, Steve Martin, and Mitch Hedburg, but they no longer perform stand up. Of those who still perform, I also enjoy Jerry Seinfeld and Steven Wright


Brian Regan: “[The pilot explaining a flight delay]: ‘Uh, somebody put our engine in upside-down. And, uh, there’s only one tool in our galaxy that can fix this. And, uh, it’s in Madagascar. The tower has instructed us to go to a holding area; and remain there, until everyone on board dies a natural death.’ So you go there and die.” 

Brian Regan: “I watch ‘Dora the Explorer’ with her [his daughter], you know, ‘cause she likes it. So I watch it with her, you know. It’s a good show. I’d probably watch that, if I didn’t have kids.” 

Reading his material isn't quite the same as hearing it; and just hearing it isn't quite the same as watching him perform. Brian Regan's inflections, expressions, antics, and material teach us we can be truly hilarious without resorting to dirty tricks. 


Here He Performs His Super Funny 
Pop Tarts Routine: 

Brian Regan - Poptarts live

Uploaded on Jul 26, 2007 by

Getting laughs seems so easy using Brian Regan’s goofy voice. But his antics and expressions add to the Punch too. And not only do his voice and actions carry the comedy, his writing is brilliant. His amazing material with his definitive delivery creates consummate comedy. 





Razzle-Dazzle with Zazzle

Click Here to Shop at Amazon!


Star Trek Spock with Ears Crew Socks


Keep Calm And RUN ZOMBIES ARE COMING!
Ladies Junior Fit V-neck T-shirt, Funny 
Keep Calm and Carry On Zombie Design Junior's V-Neck Tee

Sexy Super Heroine 
Halloween Costumes: 


3WISHES 'American Hero Costume'
Sexy Superhero Costume Woman

Do You Really Care 
That The Following Two Costumes 
Look Like Nothing Like 
Spider-Girl Or Bat-Girl?
I Mean, 

If You Meant These Attractive Women 
At A Halloween Party, 
Would You Complain? 


3WISHES 'Web of Desire Costume'
Sexy Super Hero Costumes for Women


3WISHES 'Dark Hero Costume'
Sexy Superhero Costume for Women

Okay, 
So None Of Those Items 
Had Anything To Do With Brian Regan. 
I Just Didn't Think I'd Blog Again 
Before Halloween. 


Shop Amazon 
Contract Cell Phones & Service Plans

This Is The First Time 
I Ever Saw Brian Regan; 
Only, At The Time, 
I Didn't Know Who He Was:

Brian Regan - Coke Ad: You Too

Uploaded on Sep 29, 2009 by





Although Not A Political Comedian, 
Brian Regan Still Has Funny Jokes About Politics: 

Brian Regan - Fitzgerald Theatre - 3/17/07 - St. Paul, MN

Uploaded on Mar 18, 2007 by

The End!:


3WISHES 'American Hero Costume'
Sexy Superhero Costume Woman

Monday, September 22, 2014

Ghost Shark Movie Review

 
Photo Source: Ghost Shark [Blu-ray]

Ghost Shark 
Movie Review


 
 Photo Source: 
Adult or Child's Man Eater Shark Hat

Spoiler Alert: As can be expected, Ghost Shark was a silly movie. Which is fine, except when the filmmakers defy the rules of the world they created. The shark’s head gets blown off with a hand grenade, but then the head’s intact on its corpse. Plus, after getting killed with a grenade exploding inside its mouth, the shark swims away to a haunted cave. 


Made no sense. Not that the concept of a ghost shark made sense, but still, you can’t violate the rules and logic of the world you create, no matter how crazy those rules and that logic may be. 


The idea of a shark coming out of any body of water is cool. But if the shark’s a ghost and can pass through any objects, how is it able to chomp on people? (Or maybe I just prefer my screenplay Sharks on a Plane so much more. Crazy as mine is, at least it makes some semblance of sense and features humor, suspense, romance, character arcs, and a whole lot of fun! Everything you want in a movie with only half the calories! Or something like that. If you are, or if you know, a movie mogul, hook me up!) 


Cute at the end of Ghost Shark that they ask what day it is; and it’s Tuesday like the ending of Jaws. Nice homage, except that the surviving characters swim out to sea instead of back to land like in Jaws. I kept expecting a real (non-ghost) shark to attack. Who goes swimming after seeing so many of his/her friends and acquaintances killed by a shark, even if it was a ghost shark? 


Ghost Shark Trailer (2013)



Published on Jul 16, 2013 by





Author Unknown: 
(From: http://theoatmeal.com/djtaf/j/20)
What did one shark say to the other 
while eating a clownfish?
... This tastes funny.

Dean Burkey:
I don’t want to insult the man, 
so let me just say that he’s a swell guy and all that, 

but he’s not the sharpest shark at the feeding frenzy.

Ray Divine

Stealing from a thief 
is like paddling with your hands 
in shark-infested waters.

Dean Burkey:

No one wants to die a virgin. 
Especially if you’re a virgin being fed to sharks. 

Author Unknown: 
(From: http://jokes4us.com/animaljokes/sharkjokes.html)
What do you call a solitary shark 

... A lone shark.


Razzle-Dazzle with Zazzle



Funny Stand Up Comedy about Shark

Uploaded on Jul 29, 2011 by