My Favorite Comedian Who Still Performs Standup

My Favorite Comedian 
Who Still Performs Standup

by
Dean Burkey

Sadly, at this moment, My Favorite Comedian Who Still Performs Standup isn't even me! I'm still my favorite comedian. If only because I get most of my jokes. Almost all of 'em! It's like we have the exact same sense of humor! So much so that I could be a clone of myself! Hmm. Now I wonder if I am. 

As you already know from my books about comedy, especially "How To Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes: Volume 3: How to Write like Famous Comedians", and from previous blog posts. Brian Regan is my favorite comedian who still performs standup, since I'm not doing so at this time. My other favorites include Woody Allen, Steve Martin, and Mitch Hedburg, but they no longer perform stand up. Of those who still perform, I also enjoy Jerry Seinfeld and Steven Wright. 

Brian Regan: “[The pilot explaining a flight delay]: ‘Uh, somebody put our engine in upside-down. And, uh, there’s only one tool in our galaxy that can fix this. And, uh, it’s in Madagascar. The tower has instructed us to go to a holding area; and remain there, until everyone on board dies a natural death.’ So you go there and die.” 

Brian Regan: “I watch ‘Dora the Explorer’ with her [his daughter], you know, ‘cause she likes it. So I watch it with her, you know. It’s a good show. I’d probably watch that, if I didn’t have kids.” 

Reading his material isn't quite the same as hearing it; and just hearing it isn't quite the same as watching him perform. Brian Regan's inflections, expressions, antics, and material teach us we can be truly hilarious without resorting to dirty tricks. 

Here He Performs His Super Funny 

Pop Tarts Routine: 

Brian Regan - Poptarts live

Uploaded on Jul 26, 2007 by

MAGGOTTiLLDEATH666

Getting laughs seems so easy using Brian Regan’s goofy voice. But his antics and expressions add to the Punch too. And not only do his voice and actions carry the comedy, his writing is brilliant. His amazing material with his definitive delivery creates consummate comedy. 

Click Here to Enter 

The Brian Regan Fall Sweepstakes!

All The Best,

Dean Burkey


Photo Source: 
http://www.sherv.net/laughing-emoticons.html

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Razzle-Dazzle with Zazzle

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Star Trek Spock with Ears Crew Socks


Keep Calm And RUN ZOMBIES ARE COMING!
Ladies Junior Fit V-neck T-shirt, Funny 
Keep Calm and Carry On Zombie Design Junior's V-Neck Tee

Sexy Super Heroine 
Halloween Costumes: 


3WISHES 'American Hero Costume'
Sexy Superhero Costume Woman

Do You Really Care 
That The Following Two Costumes 
Look Like Nothing Like 
Spider-Girl Or Bat-Girl?
I Mean, 
If You Meant These Attractive Women 
At A Halloween Party, 
Would You Complain? 


3WISHES 'Web of Desire Costume'
Sexy Super Hero Costumes for Women


3WISHES 'Dark Hero Costume'
Sexy Superhero Costume for Women

Okay, 
So None Of Those Items 
Had Anything To Do With Brian Regan. 
I Just Didn't Think I'd Blog Again 
Before Halloween. 


Shop Amazon 
Contract Cell Phones & Service Plans

This Is The First Time 
I Ever Saw Brian Regan; 
Only, At The Time, 
I Didn't Know Who He Was:

Brian Regan - Coke Ad: You Too

Uploaded on Sep 29, 2009 by

Brian Regan

Click Here to Enter 

The Brian Regan Fall Sweepstakes!

Although Not A Political Comedian, 
Brian Regan Still Has Funny Jokes About Politics: 

Brian Regan - Fitzgerald Theatre - 3/17/07 - St. Paul, MN

Uploaded on Mar 18, 2007 by

Ted Midthun

The End!:


3WISHES 'American Hero Costume'
Sexy Superhero Costume Woman

“A Normal, Charming Moment from My Childhood”

Photo Source: Butterfly by Peter Häger

People often ask me, instead of my writing about hanging out with Nessie and Bigfoot, space travel, and history-altering time trips, why don’t I share a normal, charming moment from my childhood? 

Okay, fine. I just figured that would be boring for everyone else. But hey, I’m here to please. And if that’s what you really, really want, then here you go: 

“A Normal, Charming Moment 
from My Childhood”

by
Dean Burkey

I remember a fine mid-to-late March day when I was seven. 

As hand-me-downs in which to play around, I got my brother’s old Halloween superhero costumes, which he outgrew in more ways than one, so I had the choice of becoming Superman or Aquaman. 

Hmm. However will I choose? One soars through space with the mightiest of powers. And the other one talks to fish and sleeps in the tub. 

Must’ve been a Saturday. Or a Teacher Work Day. Flowers bloomed. Butterflies fluttered. Bees buzzed about the sweetly scented citrus blossoms. Songbirds sang a thousand songs to welcome spring. And disembodied, transient beings from another dimension took over my parents. 

Somehow, I just knew that taking over others against their will wasn’t the right thing to do, so I hurried as fast I could to save my parents from those intergalactic dimension-hopping, body snatchers! 

Of course, at age seven, I just referred to the disembodied, transient beings from another dimension, a.k.a. intergalactic dimension-hopping, body snatchers, as those icky things. 

Obviously, I did what any kid in that situation would do. I captured a pigeon with a box using Saltine crackers as bait and a stick with a string attached as the ingenious locking device. 

I’d seen enough TV shows by then to know, if you want to contact a secret government organization, you need to use a carrier pigeon. 

And the one I caught looked just as carrier-ish as any of ‘em. 

Of course, that was before email. Or shoe phones. Or hacking into Norad and the SETI programs became the proper protocol for such instances. 

Having just learned how to write, I took my time writing the note I would attach to the pigeon as soon as it fell asleep. 

Of course, I had to use an Early Reader Scholastic Dictionary to make sure I spelled disembodied transient beings from another dimension correctly. 

Did I mention what a good thing it was that I checked too, ‘cause I spelled dimension dimention. Whew! Glad I caught that! Wouldn’t want NASA, or wherever this pigeon would fly to, to think I was just a kid. 

Using my bright yellow, official, patented, Cubs Scout neckerchief scarf, I covered the squirming pigeon’s pesky beak, as I attached my rescue note to its left leg. 

But just before I released the pigeon to rescue my parents, I yanked off my message and threw it away. 

Sure, I wanted to free my parents. What kid wouldnt’? But these disembodied transient beings from another dimension liked tacos! 

That’s how I knew my parents had been taken over, ‘cause they only liked boring foods, like cole slaw and casseroles; not fun foods, like spaghetti and tacos.  

So I handed the pigeon another Saltine and wished him well. After watching him soar away, I went inside and ate another taco. Yummy! 

Those disembodied transient beings from another dimension must’ve been from outer space, ‘cause they seemed mighty pleased when I prepared a pitcher of Tang. 

If we’ve learned anything from the space program, it’s that only beings from outer space truly appreciate all the goodness that gets stirred into a glass of Tang. 

Turned out those disembodied transient beings from another dimension couldn’t stay for more than 24 hours anyway. ‘Cause the next night, we had meatloaf. 

All The Best,

Dean Burkey

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Bill Cosby - Chicken Heart (entire routine)

Uploaded on Mar 30, 2011 by

AnOldYoungGuy

Mitch Hedberg:
I don’t have any children, 
but if I had a baby, 
I would have to name it. 
So I would buy a baby naming book. 
Or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on!

Emo Philips:
I like going to the park 
and watching the children run and jump around, 
because you see, 
they don’t know I’m using blanks.

Dean Burkey: 
I was such a difficult child. 
Soon after I was born, 
my parents tried to take me back to the hospital. 
But when it comes to babies, 
the hospital has a strict No-Return Policy. 

Ray Divine:
Children live in a magical dream world. 
I don’t see why reality has to ruin that. 
Happy music should play wherever we go. 
With colorful birds chirping along in tune. 
And candy falling from the sky. 
But healthy candy, 
so as not to impede upon the pleasure. 
And every woman should be dressed 
like a magical princess. 
Especially cocktail waitresses and masseuses. 
That would lead to a lot of happy endings. 

Steven Wright:

I wrote a few children’s books. 
... Not on purpose.

Jerry Seinfeld on Halloween (Stand-up in New York)

Uploaded on Oct 31, 2009 by

MechaNikos

EvilTwinStore

Cheesy Shirt 2 by EvilTwinStore
Print your own t-shirt at Zazzle.

Trick AND Treat

This is a true treat:

Jerry Seinfeld - Halloween

Uploaded on Oct 31, 2008 by

Theateroftragedy69

Trick AND Treat

by
Dean Burkey

What must it always be: 
Trick OR Treat. 
Why not both? 

And who says the trick has to be bad? 
Why not something cool 
like David Copperfield making the Senate disappear? 

Or making Claudia Schiffer reappear! 

Have a safe and Happy Halloween! 

And remember, 
it’s all about the kids. 
And how much candy when can get out of them! 

All the Best,

Dean Burkey

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Warning: Some may find some of the language in this video offensive: 

PEOPLE GETTING SCARED!!!.

Uploaded on Jan 21, 2012 by

Thomas J. Tom

Chris Rock: 
Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. 
C.B. is such a loser. 
He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.

Author Unknown: 
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn’t have any guts! 

Dean Burkey: 
When ghosts go to bed, 
do they keep themselves warm 
with Halloween costumes? 

Author Unknown: 
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body!

Mitch Hedberg: 
One time I stayed at a haunted motel. 
When I checked into my room, 
there was a sheet on the floor; 
and I thought it was a ghost that had passed out, 
so I kicked it.

Break's Top 10 : Scares

Uploaded on Oct 5, 2011 by

Break

EvilTwinStore



WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! 
The following video drops F-bombs, S-Bombs, and more galore,
but I still thinks it’s incredibly funny.
If you find this offensive, this is my trick.
If you find this as funny as I do, this is my treat.
And, in keeping with today’s post, it may be both!

David Blaine Magic parody 1 pswatchit fail funny viral videos

Published on Aug 29, 2013 by

David Blaine

Bonus Post: Get Monster Laughs FREE Oct. 24-28, 2013

Bonus Post: 
Get Monster Laughs FREE 
Oct. 24-28, 2013

by
Dean Burkey

Monster Laughs [Kindle Edition]

Dean Burkey (Author)
Don't have a Kindle?
Get your Kindle here.

“Monster Laughs”

From the Secret Files of the Mystery Hunter

If you’re like me, you love to laugh; and have fun! Congratulations! Now you can do both, with funny fun fiction from the author of "Heaven-Bent HUMOR: The DEAN Adventures", "How to Write Comedy Jokes", "Seasons Without Reason", "Exit Strategies", "Channel Surfing", and more: Comedian Dean Burkey.

Fear not, laugh a lot, as Paranormal Investigator Eddie Hunter, a.k.a. the Mystery Hunter, matches wits with Count Dracula, the Werewolf, Frankenstein’s Monster, and many other madcap menaces, classic and new, from around the world and beyond.

“Monster Laughs” spoofs monsters and more. In an Odyssey of Oddities, Eddie Hunter tackles the Invisible Man, Space Aliens, and other infamous frights. Further scary topics include romantic misunderstandings, macho insecurities, and diminishing dignity.

No matter how dangerous the situation, the Mystery Hunter keeps his sense of humor, somehow survives, and finds time to enjoy waffles, pie, and bowling. Only he could save the world with bubble gum and burritos.

The beauty of this book, besides being comical, is that each chapter presents its own adventure, while a story weaves throughout.

Busy? Overworked? Stressing out? By this book, you can escape on a monstrously funny mind-trip.

"In my line of work, nothing’s more embarrassing than when the monster laughs."
-- Edward T. Hunter, Paranormal Investigator.

Table of Contents

"Count Dracula Sinks His Teeth into the Big Apple"
To stop the villainous vampire, the Mystery Hunter puts his neck on the line!

"The Howling Werewolf’s Hairy End"
Bring Your Pet to Work Day has never been so deadly! Or so itchy.

"Frankenstein’s Monster Bolts Loose"
Big and green, mighty and mean, the most menacing monster the Hunter’s ever seen. (So far.)

"Doctor Jekyll and Ms. Hyde"
Double the pleasure; double the danger! And with the Hunter involved, double the laughs and mishaps!! And double the indignities and insecurities!!!

"Unraveling the Mystery of the Mummy"
The Mystery Hunter faces more horrors than he’s ever imagined. Is the Mummy out for revenge? Or just running a pyramid scheme?

"Skinny Dipping with the Creature from the Blue Lagoon"
Cannibals, pirates, and sharks, oh my! Also, lost treasure, a whale, a gorilla, a navy seal, and a couple grabby blue crabs. And let’s not forget the web-footed horror of the amphibious Creature! Does the Creature want to kill the Hunter? Or are his desires a fate worse than death? What else would you expect during mating season at the Blue Lagoon?

"The Swinging Tale of the Blue Moon Monkey Man"
The Mystery Hunter encounters a new menace. Before he gets himself killed over a blue banana, the Hunter better solve this case and split!

"Illegal Aliens from Outer Space"
(This Is My Favorite Chapter!)
Worlds turn against the Mystery Hunter, including his own! The galaxy cries out: “Bring me the Hunter!”

"Being Seen with the Invisible Man (Or Not!)"
Although he prides himself on always being prepared, the Mystery Hunter never saw this one coming!

"Challenging the Unchallengeable Charlie Change-O"
The Final Chapter!
Home from a whirlwind, worldwide tour of mystery-hunting, Eddie faces his fiercest foe and solves a mystery he wishes he’d never solved.

"Return of the Blue Moon Monkey Man (And Another Crazy)"
The Final, Final Chapter!
A fiendish foe returns. So does another crazy. And the Hunter makes a monstrously horrifying realization about himself.

Before you buy this book, take a Look Inside!

Inspired lunacy! Zany, quirky, funny, fun. For teens and adults.

All the Best,

Dean Burkey

Excerpts

Howlie Mandel [The Werewolf] prepared to pounce on me, but then he sniffed a whiff of Penelope’s perfume and barked with bliss. I wondered, deal or no deal.

“The price is wrong, Mister Barker.” Aiming my weapon at Fuzzy Wuzzy, I called out to my alluring assistant, “Run, Penelope! Run!”

Slipping on a soiled newspaper, Penelope collapsed to the red carpet. Like I said, lycanthropes aren’t known for being housebroken. Which seems odd, since most of them come from broken homes.

Salivating like a ravenous shark at a scuba diver’s convention, the Canine Catastrophe bounded across the room to Penelope.

Aimed and fired my stinky gun, but I hit an electrical panel. After an explosion of sparks, the lights went out.

...

As Frank’s Fiend [Frankenstein’s Monster] lunged forward, I froze. Semi-froze. I chomped my third bite of pie. If you’ve gotta go, why not go with a smile? Bye-bye smile. Horrified, I gasped when he swung his right hand and flung my pie. My delicious key lime smashed into a wall a block away, held for four seconds, and fell onto the head of a crooked politician in an Armani silk suit. The Incredible Sulk destroyed my pie. The monster!

With my finger twitching on the trigger, I thawed out and shoved the barrel of my marble-handled, custom-made, sure-shot, seven, count-‘em, seven-shooter into his mouth. I already reloaded my trusty gun with lead bullets, so not only would I conserve silver, I’d give him lead poisoning. The fatal kind. “What do you say for yourself now? Pie-Flinger!”

“Yummy.” Biting down, the Bolt-Meister bent the end of my marble-handled, custom-made, sure-shot, seven, count-‘em, seven-shooter. Since I could no longer fire, I refroze quicker than leftovers of Tofurky soufflé.

...

The Mad Grabber [Doctor Jekyll] madly grabbed a double dose of his eerie serum and brandished a hypodermic needle at me. “I’ll show you what horror means!”

“No need to. I have a dictionary.” With my kitty-like reflexes, I dodged his first swing. “Or I can Google it online.” I sidestepped his second strike too. “Or Wiki will give me -- Ow!” But not the third. Pain shot through my arm. I wobbled. “Was that needle clean?”

“The needle’s clean; the serum’s not.” The Injection-Meister cackled maddeningly. Not like a villain in a B-movie. He just chortled an annoying laugh that made me mad. 

...

Maybe Serena was right. Maybe I am “a freaky little fool in an over-sized coat full of goofy gadgets who can’t solve the mystery of himself, much less anything else”. Should I take such cruel words spoken in anger to heart? But why was she mad? Where did I go wrong with her? My monstrous charisma and hunter’s mystique always made her feel so secure. Whenever she saw me, she shouted, “Security! Security!!”

...

Although not wanting to die, I felt relieved Captain Gills [The Creature from the Blue Lagoon] only wanted to kill me.

But just when I thought it was safe to be murdered by a homicidal maniac, ...

To see more, 
Click to LOOK INSIDE!

BUY NOW!