Showing posts with label Ray Divine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ray Divine. Show all posts

Monday, September 22, 2014

Ghost Shark Movie Review

 
Photo Source: Ghost Shark [Blu-ray]

Ghost Shark 
Movie Review
 
 Photo Source: 
Adult or Child's Man Eater Shark Hat

Spoiler Alert: As can be expected, Ghost Shark was a silly movie. Which is fine, except when the filmmakers defy the rules of the world they created. The shark’s head gets blown off with a hand grenade, but then the head’s intact on its corpse. Plus, after getting killed with a grenade exploding inside its mouth, the shark swims away to a haunted cave. 


Made no sense. Not that the concept of a ghost shark made sense, but still, you can’t violate the rules and logic of the world you create, no matter how crazy those rules and that logic may be. 


The idea of a shark coming out of any body of water is cool. But if the shark’s a ghost and can pass through any objects, how is it able to chomp on people? (Or maybe I just prefer my screenplay Sharks on a Plane so much more. Crazy as mine is, at least it makes some semblance of sense and features humor, suspense, romance, character arcs, and a whole lot of fun! Everything you want in a movie with only half the calories! Or something like that. If you are, or if you know, a movie mogul, hook me up!) 


Cute at the end of Ghost Shark that they ask what day it is; and it’s Tuesday like the ending of Jaws. Nice homage, except that the surviving characters swim out to sea instead of back to land like in Jaws. I kept expecting a real (non-ghost) shark to attack. Who goes swimming after seeing so many of his/her friends and acquaintances killed by a shark, even if it was a ghost shark? 


Ghost Shark Trailer (2013)



Published on Jul 16, 2013 by





Author Unknown: 
(From: http://theoatmeal.com/djtaf/j/20)
What did one shark say to the other 
while eating a clownfish?
... This tastes funny.

Dean Burkey:
I don’t want to insult the man, 
so let me just say that he’s a swell guy and all that, 

but he’s not the sharpest shark at the feeding frenzy.

 Ray Divine: 

Stealing from a thief 
is like paddling with your hands 
in shark-infested waters.

 Dean Burkey:

No one wants to die a virgin. 
Especially if you’re a virgin being fed to sharks. 

 Author Unknown: 
(From: http://jokes4us.com/animaljokes/sharkjokes.html)
What do you call a solitary shark 

... A lone shark.


Razzle-Dazzle with Zazzle

Funny Stand Up Comedy about Shark

Uploaded on Jul 29, 2011 by
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Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Turn Signal Blues


I feel sorry for the inventor of the turn signal. 

Photo Source: 

Mister Signal, or maybe Ms. Turn, must feel so silly, or at the very least, somewhat inadequate, since so many people misuse or ignore such a clever device. 

Photo Source: 

You don’t turn it on as your turn. It’s called a signal! If you wait until you turn, you’re not signaling anybody. 

A turn signal’s a simple common courtesy to let others know your directional intentions. 

Photo Source: 
Danica: Crossing the Line

You can operate it with a flip of your pinky. If only more people would do so; we’d spend less time having to flip other fingers. 


 Mitch Hedberg: 
If I was a mechanic; 
and someone called me and said their car would not start, 
I would say, “Hey! Maybe a killer is after you!” 

 Dean Burkey: 
Super hottie Danica Patrick’s a great race care driver. 
But her vehicle has a major design problem 
for a woman of her exquisite looks. 
There’s no back seat!
Photo Source: 
Danica Patrick 8x10 Photo. #3295

 Dean Burkey: 
Oh, Danica Patrick, 
we’d be perfect together, 
except my Momma told me 
to stay away from fast women. 

 
Find the Lowest Car Insurance Rates!

 Ray Divine: 
To regenerate interest in the Indy 500, 
promoters do what they always do 
when they want to get more men interested in something; 
they got a hot girl! 

 Mitch Hedberg: 
I want to be a race car passenger. 
Just a guy who bugs the driver. 
“Say man, can I turn on the radio? 
You should slow down. 
Why do we gotta keep going in circles? 
Can I put my feet out the window? 
Boy, you really like Tide.” 


Air Wrench: 

Tony Stewart Pranks Danica Patrick 

at GoDaddy Commercial Shoot

Published on Jul 29, 2014 by


Photo Source: 
3WISHES 'Fast Lane Costume'
Sexy Race Car Driver Costumes for Women

Come Back Friday September 19, 2014 for: 
Fast Food Follies
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Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Pretty Little Ring-Flinger


The cute cashier at the local health food store 
wore a couple cool rings. 
I asked what the coolest one was; 
and she said it was a tiger’s eye, 
but she didn’t know if was real. 
Photo Source: 
Eye of the Tiger

Hearing that, I must’ve smirked, 
because she said she meant if a tiger’s eye 
was a real type of stone; 
and if her ring was a real one of those. 

 The other ring was a wraparound spoon thing, 
so I said, 
“And this other one, 
you got mad at your silverware?” 

 She chuckled and said 
those were her favorite rings; 
and that she had left them at Nordstrom’s, 
but some kind person found them and called her. 

 I said that was cool, 
but all the while I was thinking, 
so why was she flinging off her rings at Nordstrom’s? 
She can’t change clothes without flinging rings?
Click Here to Shop at Amazon!





 When you fall for that special someone, this is how you propose: 

Crazy Marriage Proposal

Uploaded on Jul 11, 2011 by
(Please don’t really propose like that to anyone.
Especially not to someone about whom you really care.)

Rita Rudner: 
I think men who have a pierced ear 
are better prepared for marriage. 
They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. 

 Richard Pryor: 
I believe in the institution of marriage; 
and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. 

Dean Burkey: 
If you don’t want to play chess anymore, 
I’ll just take the pawn back to the ring shop. 

 Woody Allen: 
I also wrote a short story about my first year of marriage, 
which Alfred Hitchcock showed interest in for a while. 

 Ray Divine: 
Saturn has rings around it like a dirty tub. 
But you’d think the planet with the dirty rings 
would be Uranus.  

And never ever propose like this: 

Creepy-Crawly Proposal Prank

Uploaded on Apr 14, 2011 by
Break
Check out more Template Ring at Zazzle


Come Back Friday August 29, 2014 for: 
RAOR: 
Katy Perry's Hit Song ROAR Backwards
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