Showing posts with label Brian Regan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brian Regan. Show all posts

Monday, November 10, 2014

Vegan Gators & Veggie Sharks


Vegan Gators 

Veggie Sharks

Don’t think you’re safe, just because you swim upon a vegan gator, or a veggie shark. 

In the murky waters in which they dwell, and through their thick, clouded corneas, to them you look just like a screaming, splashing carrot. 

Or a spastic serving of succotash. 

And once they bite into you, all they see is ketchup. 


carrot top STARSEARCH

Published on Jun 24, 2012 by
Carrot Top

Mitch Hedberg:
I like the public hot-tub at the hotels. 
I like when a guy is already in there, 
I say, “Hey, do you mind if I join you?” 
Then I go turn the heat up; 
and I add some carrots and onions. 

Brian Regan
My doctor also told me to, uh, 
you know, uh, eat more fruit. 
So, I had some Pop Tarts this morning. 
Nice thin layer in there. 

Mitch Hedberg:
They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. 
I tried to make it at home. 
There’s more to it than that. 

Dean Burkey:
(From “How to Write Comedy Jokes: 
How to Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes Book 1): 
If only more people would become vegetarians, 
we’d get seated quicker at the steakhouse.

Mitch Hedberg:
If carrots got you drunk, 
rabbits would be messed up.



The vegetable "crisper" (Mark Schiff

- very funny stand-up comedy

Uploaded on Jul 11, 2011 by

Sunday, October 26, 2014

My Favorite Comedian Who Still Performs Standup



My Favorite Comedian 
Who Still Performs Standup




Sadly, at this moment, My Favorite Comedian Who Still Performs Standup isn't even me! I'm still my favorite comedian. If only because I get most of my jokes. Almost all of 'em! It's like we have the exact same sense of humor! So much so that I could be a clone of myself! Hmm. Now I wonder if I am. 

As you already know from my books about comedy, especially "How To Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes: Volume 3: How to Write like Famous Comedians", and from previous blog posts. Brian Regan is my favorite comedian who still performs standup, since I'm not doing so at this time. My other favorites include Woody Allen, Steve Martin, and Mitch Hedburg, but they no longer perform stand up. Of those who still perform, I also enjoy Jerry Seinfeld and Steven Wright


Brian Regan: “[The pilot explaining a flight delay]: ‘Uh, somebody put our engine in upside-down. And, uh, there’s only one tool in our galaxy that can fix this. And, uh, it’s in Madagascar. The tower has instructed us to go to a holding area; and remain there, until everyone on board dies a natural death.’ So you go there and die.” 

Brian Regan: “I watch ‘Dora the Explorer’ with her [his daughter], you know, ‘cause she likes it. So I watch it with her, you know. It’s a good show. I’d probably watch that, if I didn’t have kids.” 

Reading his material isn't quite the same as hearing it; and just hearing it isn't quite the same as watching him perform. Brian Regan's inflections, expressions, antics, and material teach us we can be truly hilarious without resorting to dirty tricks. 


Here He Performs His Super Funny 
Pop Tarts Routine: 

Brian Regan - Poptarts live

Uploaded on Jul 26, 2007 by

Getting laughs seems so easy using Brian Regan’s goofy voice. But his antics and expressions add to the Punch too. And not only do his voice and actions carry the comedy, his writing is brilliant. His amazing material with his definitive delivery creates consummate comedy. 





Razzle-Dazzle with Zazzle

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Star Trek Spock with Ears Crew Socks


Keep Calm And RUN ZOMBIES ARE COMING!
Ladies Junior Fit V-neck T-shirt, Funny 
Keep Calm and Carry On Zombie Design Junior's V-Neck Tee

Sexy Super Heroine 
Halloween Costumes: 


3WISHES 'American Hero Costume'
Sexy Superhero Costume Woman

Do You Really Care 
That The Following Two Costumes 
Look Like Nothing Like 
Spider-Girl Or Bat-Girl?
I Mean, 

If You Meant These Attractive Women 
At A Halloween Party, 
Would You Complain? 


3WISHES 'Web of Desire Costume'
Sexy Super Hero Costumes for Women


3WISHES 'Dark Hero Costume'
Sexy Superhero Costume for Women

Okay, 
So None Of Those Items 
Had Anything To Do With Brian Regan. 
I Just Didn't Think I'd Blog Again 
Before Halloween. 


Shop Amazon 
Contract Cell Phones & Service Plans

This Is The First Time 
I Ever Saw Brian Regan; 
Only, At The Time, 
I Didn't Know Who He Was:

Brian Regan - Coke Ad: You Too

Uploaded on Sep 29, 2009 by





Although Not A Political Comedian, 
Brian Regan Still Has Funny Jokes About Politics: 

Brian Regan - Fitzgerald Theatre - 3/17/07 - St. Paul, MN

Uploaded on Mar 18, 2007 by

The End!:


3WISHES 'American Hero Costume'
Sexy Superhero Costume Woman

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

The Great Divide


 
Photo Source: 
Lonely Planet Grand Canyon National Park (Travel Guide)

Well, the divorce is final. It was a tough, demoralizing, debilitating battle, but at last, I’m finally free. I’m no longer married to myself. 

 
Photo Source: Hulk [Blu-ray]

I’m happy and sad all at the same time. Like when the first Hulk movie came out. Happy there was a Hulk movie, but sad it turned out the way it did. 

 
Photo Source: All By Myself

I’m happy I divorced myself, but I still feel sad. After all, I’d known me my whole life. And sure, I can be fun. But after hanging around me all that time, I started getting on my nerves. Can I not do any other funny voices than Brian Regan

 
Photo Source: We Can Work It Out

And I could even put up with that. What bugged me though. Was I always wanted things done my way. I tried to work things out, but in the end, I saw no other recourse than to divorce myself. 


On the bright side ladies, that means I’m available. But you’d better hurry, because I keep trying to get back with me. And sometimes, I feel so lonely, I actually entertain the thought of getting back with my ex. I find it hard to stay away from me. But what can I do? It’s like I’m everywhere I go. 


Bride Can't Stop Laughing During Wedding Vows


Uploaded on Sep 7, 2009 by




Razzle-Dazzle with Zazzle



 
Find the Lowest Car Insurance Rates!


Brian Regan at the improv

Uploaded on Jun 24, 2007 by