Showing posts with label Johnny Carson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Johnny Carson. Show all posts

Saturday, August 2, 2014

More Sharknado 2: The Second One Fun


Sharknado 2: The Second One 

Official Teaser Trailer (2014) Tara Reid, SyFy HD

Published on Jun 4, 2014 by

 More Sharknado 2: 
The Second One Fun

Check out my previous posts: 

The best way to avoid a shark attack, as Johnny Carson once said, is to stay in Kansas. 

 But then again, in Kansas, you’re in danger of being plagued by a Snakenado.

 Or even a Gophernado. 

 Although tonight marks the second time in less than a week that a Sharknado hit New York City, such events are typically quite rare. 

 Most marine biologists and meteorologists alike say a Sharknado could never happen, but they also claim global warming’s responsible for cooler temperatures and often say it’s going to be sunny when it isn’t. 

 Besides, my uncle died in a Whalicane. 

 (A Whale-Hurricane is similar to a Sharknado; only the winds are much more intense; and the man-eating sea creatures are mammals, not fish, so it actually makes a lot more sense. Well, more sense than pet rocks; and everybody bought into those!) 

Yes, sadly, I saw Uncle Morty get smacked in the head by a whale’s tail, but everyone says it was a fluke.  

Sharknado 2: The Second One: 
August 2, 7 pm Eastern
Only on Syfy! 
Check Out My New Page:
Grab Some Goodies!
Enjoy Music, Product Samples, 
Games, Free Trials, & More!


 
Full Throttle Fat Loss
Posted by at No comments:
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Friday, July 18, 2014

YAS XOF EHT SEOD TAHW: What Does The Fox Say? Backwards!

 

YAS XOF EHT SEOD TAHW: 
What Does The Fox Say? 
Backwards! 

 Whenever you hear a strange song 
that's strangely popular, 
you've got to stop and think: 

Well someone obviously 
made a deal with the Devil. 

 In that case, 
we can search the song backwards 
for hidden clues. 

 Here's The Song Forwards: 

Ylvis The Fox What Does the Fox Say ) [Official music video HD]

Published on Oct 14, 2013 by

 Before we even rewind, 
we can almost detect a massive amount 
of semi-F-bombs exploding all over the place! 

 But hey, 
I blame "Star Trek" for that. 
That's right. 
They were the ones who figured out 
how to sneak the F-bomb on prime-time TV; 
and that was in the 1960s. 

 All you do is mask it just a little. 

 Example: 
"Spock! Are you out of your Vulcan mind?!" 

 With or without the real or imagined F-bombs, 
I find a bunch of dudes twerking in the woods, 
with or without fox masks, 
to be more than a bit disturbing. 

 But hey, 
if that's what you're into; 
and you're not hurting anyone, 
whatevs!

 Just keep it down in residential areas 
when others are trying to sleep. 

Here's The Song Backwards: 

What Does The Fox Say (Backwards)

Published on Oct 19, 2013 by

 The first thing we notice 
is that when spelled backwards, 
the name Ylvis looks like an adverb. 

 I don't know what Sivly means, 
but if it's backwards, 
it probably can't be good. 

 The opening voice reminds me 
of Dan Ackroyd gibberish singing 
in The Blues Brothers' hit "Rubber Biscuit". 

 Somewhere near the beginning, 
which would be the end?, 
I hear the phrase "walk on water". 

 Obviously, 
that's a reference, 
or allusion, 
if you will, 
to:

Dutch People. 

 Because of their wooden shoes. 

 Who else? 
Aquaman? 

 The seemingly nonsensical noises, 
which resound during the chorus, 
when played backwards, 
suddenly sound like: 

 Someone who hit his thumb with a hammer. 

 Or got ice dropped down his Jockey shorts. 

 Or that one annoying uncle who still plays 
"I got your nose!" 
well past your teens. 

 The chorus line itself sounds like: 
"Get so out the door!"

 So I guess the song could be considered divisive. 
But maybe the building's on fire; 
and the singers are yelling for us to get to safety. 
Which is awfully nice of them. 
Or they just don't want to get sued. 
Or arrested for breaking The Good Samaritan Law 
like in the Series Finale of Seinfeld. 

 Sadly though, 
the whole "Is the song divisive 
or is it urging us to safety?" debate 
must remain unsolvable. 

 At least, 
until we can get a coin to flip; 
and decide who gets to call heads. 

 Near the end, 
which would be the beginning?, 
I hear the phrase "climb so nice". 

 So, 
to that extent, 
this song's good at subliminally 
encouraging mountain climbers. 

 Kids like it too. 
(Kids of all ages.)

 If, 
10-15 years from now, 
scaling mountains suddenly becomes a big craze 
among college students, 
you'll know why. 

 I've been kidding around here, 
but I gotta tell you:  That silly song made me 
more attentive to women in every way. 

Now when I meet a hot one I wonder: 
What does the fox say? 

 Thanks for reading. 
Until next time, 
have a Vulcan fun week!

 And, of course, by that, I mean: 
Live long & prosper. 
Or at the very least, 
don't be sivly.

For More Backwards Music Fun, 
Check Out My Previous Post: 
This Is Crazy! A Call Me Maybe Exposé

All The Best,

Photo Source: Pssmidi Pål S. Schaathun / TVNorge pressefoto
Ylvis Picture from TV show 'I kveld med Ylvis'



Click Here to Shop at Amazon!


Blues Brothers - Rubber Biscuit

Uploaded on May 26, 2006 by

Author Unknown: 
(http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/cleanjokes.html): 
Q: What do you call the new girl at the bank? 
A: The Nutella!

 Jerry Seinfeld: 
The idea behind the tuxedo is 
the woman's point of view 
that men are all the same; 
so we might as well dress them that way. 
That's why a wedding is like the joining together 
of a beautiful, glowing bride 
and some guy. 
The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, 
created by women 
because they know that men are undependable. 
So in case the groom chickens out, 
everybody just takes one step over, 
and she marries the next guy. 

 Dean Burkey:
If you’re beautiful; 
and you’re all alone, 
your beauty’s going to waste. 
Don’t waste it! 
Let me help you find the finest pleasures 
that beautiful people can enjoy. 

 Steve Martin: 
Hosting the Oscars 
is like making love to a beautiful woman 
— it's something I only get to do 
when Billy Crystal's out of town. 

 Steven Wright: 
Last night, 
I walked up to this beautiful woman in a bar 
and asked her, "Do you live around here often?" 
She said, "You're wearing two different colored socks." 
I said, "Yes, but to me they're the same, 
because I go by thickness."

Steve Martin Has to Leave Johnny Carson, Funniest Moments

Published on Aug 2, 2011 by

EvilTwinStore
Posted by at No comments:
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Friday, March 15, 2013

Apple Pie Hubbub


"Apple Pie Hubbub"*
* The title is written by Steve Martin.
But the apple jokes are written by me.
(If it makes you feel any better,
at the end, I include some Steve Martin jokes
and a funny video of him on The Tonight Show.)
by
Dean Burkey
Photo Source:
http://www.freestockphotos.biz/stockphoto/10670

An American Pie Display 

With Apples, A Flag, And Baseball Equipment

by: Scott Bauer acquired from USDA ARS (Website)

Apple pie’s delicious. 
But I still can’t help thinking: 
Sure it’s yummy and all, 
but isn’t this what got us kicked out of Paradise? 
If not for apple pie, we’d live wonderful lives 
where every day’s extreme casual Friday’s 
with perfect hotties. 
Stupid yummy pie! 

Remember when a certain fast-food place 
always bragged about their hot apple pies? 
That was quite a selling point, 
until customers started getting scalded and sued. 

Here’s my ad idea 
for hot apple pie: 
“You know you’re going to burn 
your mouth on something. 
So why not make it something delicious? 
Try our new and improved, 
hotter-than-ever, hot apple pie. 
It’s like a tasty inferno in your mouth! 
Like your mouth’s being burned 
with the best flavor ever!” 
That should send sales through the roof! 

“Warmhearted on the inside, but crusty on the outside? 
You make your old man sound like an apple pie.” 
“Oh no, he’s not an American.” 

All the Best,





 P.S. 
Steve Martin wrote these jokes: 

 Steve Martin:
I bought some pretty good stuff. 
Got me a $300 pair of socks. 
I got a fur sink. 
Oh, let’s see, electric dog polisher. 
That was a good investment. 
Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. 
And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too.

 Steve Martin:
I know we've only known each other 4 weeks and 3 days, 
but to me it seems like 9 weeks and 5 days. 

 Steve Martin:
Boy, those French. 
They have a different word for everything.

 Steve Martin:
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. 
I hate necks.

 Steve Martin:
After politely asking for a blue spot, 
which he doesn’t receive, 
Steve Martin escalates in fury: 
“And I come out and I’m giving and I’m giving 
and I’m giving and I keep giving 
and I give some more; 
and I make a simple request. 
I say, hey, could I possibly have a blue spot? 
But I guess the lighting crew feels they know 
a little bit more about show business than I do, 
although I’ve been in the business a few years 
and I think I know what works best. 
I’m sorry, but I am angry. 
I come out here and I can’t get 
a little cooperation from the backstage crew? 
Well, excuuuuuuussssssse meeeeeee!!!!!” 



Steve Martin Has to Leave

Uploaded on Aug 2, 2011 by
johnnycarson
Posted by at No comments:
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thursday, March 14, 2013

The Great Flydini


The Great Flydini



Steve Martin Is "The Great Flydini" 

on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson"

Uploaded on Feb 6, 2011 by



Photo Source:
The front cover of "Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life"
Steve Martin's informative and entertaining autobiography
of his stand-up comedy career.

I think I did pretty well, 
considering I started out with nothing 
but a bunch of blank paper. 

(Excerpt from "Grandmother's Song"):
Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike
Be witty and happy and wise
Be honest and love all your neighbors
Be obsequious, purple and clairvoyant

I know a lot of you people are 
sitting out there saying to yourselves, 
"Steve - you're a rambling guy. 
Is it tough for you, traveling from town to town, 
staying in different hotels every night, 
all alone, not with your friends?" 
Well, I've kind of worked that out now, 
I've got a whole new policy. 
Like, I came into New York early this morning, 
bought a house. Met a cute gal, got married. 
We had a little baby, another one on the way. 
Tomorrow: wake up, have a home-cooked meal, 
sell the house, get a divorce, and get on to the next town. 
So, this is what Steve is doing now. 

There is one thing I would break up over, 
and that is if she caught me with another woman. 
I won't stand for that. 

A day without sunshine is, like, 
you know, ... night.

All the Best,




Uploaded on May 3, 2010 by
PeterRabbit59
Posted by at No comments:
Labels: , , , , , , , ,
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)