Free! Yes, Free! This Is Not a Prank!

Free! Yes, Free! 
This Is Not a Prank!


To Prove This Is NOT a Prank, 
I've Included This Fun Video of Pranks, 
So You Can Compare:





See? 
That Proves This Is NOT a Prank!


And This Can't Be a Joke, 
Because It Doesn't Begin With: 
"A pastor, a priest, and a rabbi are on a deserted island ..."
Nor Did I Say a Word about a Man 
with a Talking Animal Walking into a Bar.



Free! Yes, Free! 
This Is Not a Joke!

This Is Not a Prank!


You Can Enjoy FREE BOOKS on Kindle! 

Even If You Don't Have a Kindle!

Free Kindle App for Android:

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If you really want to pay for a book,
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PLEASE NOTE: 


Some of the aforementioned books 
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so be sure to click the above links to get the FREE versions.
Any and all prices mentioned herein are subject to change, 
so act now. Before it's too late!


Thank you!

Blessings & Joy,

Dean Burkey

“The Joys (and Horrors?) of Slapstick Comedy!”

“The Joys 

(and Horrors?) 

of Slapstick Comedy!”

Joy because the comedy makes us laugh. Horror because of the dangers faced by some of slapstick’s best practitioners as shown in the video clips below.

The formula for the oldest gag in the world is simple: Present an obnoxious character. Usually a banker or politician, definitely well-to-do, which fuels his delusions of grandeur. This snooty person walks with his nose in the air because he feels so superior to everyone else. But this style of walking causes him not to notice the banana peel tossed on the sidewalk in front of him. He slips on the banana peel and crashes down. You show he’s arrogant and then rob him of dignity.

This actually demonstrates a Proverb from The Holy Bible:

Proverbs 16:18 (NKJV): 

“Pride goes before destruction, 

And a haughty spirit before a fall.” 

Which through the centuries became shortened to the adage: “Pride goes before a fall.”

The formula for the second oldest gag in the world is even more simple: Present an obnoxious character. Make sure he or she wears expensive clothes. Tuxedo. White evening gown. Throw a pie in his/her face.

Slipping on a banana peel and throwing pies in someone’s face come from a type of boisterous, anything-goes, downright destructive form of comedy known as slapstick.

Above and beyond bananas peels and custard pies, the following videos present some iconic moments from the Three Silent Film Comedy Greats: Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, and Harold Lloyd.

Hear Charlie Chaplin’s own voice as he narrates this classic scene from the re-release of the film some critics call the greatest comedy of all time: “The Gold Rush”:

Without C.G.I. or any other special effects; and with only about 2 inches to spare on either side as a wall weighing at least half a ton falls on him, Buster Keaton risks his life in this brief clip from “Steamboat Bill, Jr.”:

So dedicated was Buster Keaton to his craft, he once broke his neck while filming but  kept on performing anyway. He didn’t even know he broke his neck until a doctor told him years later during a checkup.

Harold Lloyd hangs on for dear life in this brief clip from “Safety Last” which is possibly the most iconic scene from the silent film era:

Harold Lloyd performed such feats of derring-do while missing three fingers on his right hand after an unfortunate prop bomb explosion.

     

Slapstick

The word slapstick comes from a device made with two flat wooden boards strapped together at one end with a small rod or piece of wood between them to create a gap at the other end. When smacked, the “slap stick” would make a loud slapping sound. Used in humorous theatrical productions before the film era for fight scenes.

Slapstick comedy began when the Alpha Male Zogg slipped on a steaming pile of Mastodon dung and landed  upon his buttocks. Although fearing for their lives, the “followers” in his tribe whooped and hollered with delight. Especially when a Saber-Toothed Tiger leapt upon the fallen Zogg and ate him for lunch. 

Perhaps primitive comedy could be deemed cruel and sadistic, but Zogg didn’t win popularity contests with his constant bickering and clubbing of insubordinates and unwilling dates. 

The Three Stooges

The Three Stooges’ main game was slapstick. 

Men often like the Three Stooges because their comedy was so physical, action-oriented, kind of sporty. (Or because of the Incongruity and Superiority theories of comedy.) 

Women usually dislike them, possibly because they empathize with the “injured” characters too much to laugh. (Or they just roll their eyes and think it’s stupid.) If someone really yanked your nose with pliers, you wouldn’t laugh. You might even cry. Probably bleed. And for some reason, women don’t find that funny. 

But with the Three  Stooges, silent film comedies, and other uses of slapstick, the comedy works because the slapstick takes place in a human “cartoon” world. The films aren’t drawn, but their worlds are still quite “animated” and cartoony. No one “really” gets hurt. Moe might yank Curly’s nose to the side of his face, but in a future scene, his nose will soon be back in place. Violence without consequences isn’t real violence. No pain. All gain. And thus we laugh. (Or we just roll our eyes and think it’s stupid.)

Perhaps such cartoon violence provides a type of wish-fulfillment. When someone gets on your nerves. Like an overbearing boss or an annoying busybody. Haven’t you ever wished you had a pair of pliers, so you could yank his nose to the side of his face? If so, I highly recommend psychoanalysis. Possibly high dosages of Valium or Lithium. Maybe even Electro-Shock Therapy. Or better yet, watch slapstick comedy and feel a cathartic release of such hostile desires. After all, it’s all just fun and games. 

I'm not a Three Stooges fan, per se. I prefer the subtler slapstick arts of Chaplin, Keaton, and Lloyd.

      

Before you buy, consider renting from Amazon Instant Video:

No matter what you may be after, may your journey and search be filled with joy and laughter.

Blessings & Joy,

Dean Burkey

I Have Amazing Super Powers; and So Too Can You!

If you're hoping to see a video of me wearing long underwear and a cape and flying over the city, you're in luck. I just happen to have one right here:

"Whatever Man!"

That's a short film I wrote and starred in for a Clearwater/Tampa Bay Area cable access show in 1998 called "Comedy Buffet". (No connection to the Winter Haven-based improv group of the same name.) Produced by and co-starring Troy Bowman and Richard Eldridge. The script got changed quite a bit, as scripts often do, so Troy added the footage of the hillbilly with the shotgun because he just so happened to have that footage. He added some key lines too. Also co-stars Vivienne Brown and Gloria Smith. Also a couple girls whose names I can't recall.

Anyway, back to my blog:

Technically, the title should say: “I Have Amazing Super Powers; and So Do You!” But I didn’t think you’d believe me; and thus wouldn’t read what I have to say. But since I said “So Too Can You!”, you might be more interested in finding out how you too can acquire amazing super powers.

But the fact is: You already have amazing super powers!

Albert Einstein said: “Everybody is a genius.

But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,

it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

So don't be a fish trying to climb a tree. And don't be a cat trying to swim the Great Barrier Reef.

Discover what your super powers are and use them for the forces of good. And use them effectively too.

Aquaman in the desert won’t do anyone any good. Especially himself. In fact, he’ll just get on everyone else’s nerves. More so than he already does with his stinking up the Hall of Justice with his fish odors. Eau de Phish is not a big-selling cologne. And Water Boy’s always leaving inexplicable puddles all over the place.

1 Corinthians 12:4 (NKJV):

“There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.”

The Spirit being The Holy Spirit. God.

Any gift from God is supernatural and powerful; and thus, a super power.

But we each have our own super powers. If you try to fly alongside Superman without the ability to fly or web-swing alongside Spider-Man with a web-shooter, things will end messy for you. And for whomever's unfortunate to be beneath you at the time.

                       

What are you good at? Where do you excel?

What can you do amazingly
far beyond mere mortal men?

Embracing your super powers is fun!

My super power is making pancakes. I know that's not flying or breaking the sound barrier, but it works well for me. If making pancakes doesn't sound like a super power to you, that's only because you haven't tried my pancakes.

What a joy to wake up each morning and create some new kind of pancakes.

Or to recreate a personal favorite.

There is no limit to what I can do!

So yes, my super power is making pancakes.

My secret identity is: Pancake Man!

I have amazing pancake powers far beyond those of mere mortal men.

They not only taste super delicious; they're also made with healthy, all-natural ingredients too! I konw that doesn't sound humanly possible. And maybe that isn't. But I make them that way; and that's totally super!

The Who should sing a song about me: “He’s a Pancake Wizard!”

“Pancake Man, Pancake Man, does whatever a pancake can.”

With great power comes great responsibility, so one day I’ll have to write a cookbook of my amazing far beyond mere mortal men pancake recipes.

Until then, find out what you’re good at; and concentrate on that.

We often work so hard to overcome our “weaknesses”,

that we fail to make good use of our strengths.

Instead of trying to be someone else, be the best you, you can be.

That's pretty much the lesson of almost every fairy tale you've ever read.

The Ugly Duckling, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Spider-Man.

No one can be better at being you than you can. Excel in your own area of expertise instead of trying to be better than your "hero" or "idol".

Jonathan Kent in the 1978 movie "Superman": "No, no. Now, you listen to me. When you first came to us, we thought people would come and take you away because, when they found out, you know, the things you could do. And that worried us a lot. But then a man gets older; and he starts thinking differently; and things get very clear. And one thing I do know, son; and that is you are here for a reason. I don't know whose reason, or whatever the reason is. Maybe it's because, uh, I don't know. But I do know one thing. It's not to score touchdowns."

Become your own super hero!

Click Here for 3-Step Muscle Program to Make You Look Like a Super Hero!

Jesus says in John 14:12 (NKJV): "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father."

Our only Kryptonite is our lack of faith.

For my next blog, be sure to tune in: Same Pancake Time; Same Pancake Channel!

Blessings & Joy,

Dean Burkey

P.S. Besides making amazing pancakes, I also write fun and funny books.

        

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This is the first Cook-Book of its kind!

Every Recipe is Completely Gluten-Free, Sugar-Free (except fruit), Digestion-Friendly, Allergy-Friendly and Low Glycemic with Meat, Poultry, Fish meals and Tree-Nut-Free, Dairy-Free, Vegan and Vegetarian Options for most recipes. Most recipes astonishingly simple and quick, for almost any special diet that will tickle your tongue with pleasure!

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Eating the way this book suggests: lots of veggies hidden in wonderful flavors, and very low-glycemic, combined with steady, regular exercise, has helped some people get off insulin and lead healthier, more energetic lives. Articles abound about people who have eaten lots of vegetables and fruits, fiber and protein and exercised several times a week and have gotten off insulin.

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A video of the author
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Full Disclosure: I make money from the sale of this book. More than I make from the sale of my own books! But I still want to write my own.

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If you encounter any problems with this book, please let me know.

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Thank you.

Blessings & Joy,

Dean Burkey

My Favorite Screenwriting Guru Is Now on Kindle!

Here's the deal: I began this blog post simply as a way to create the links to buy the books I wanted, because I think I get  a % back. Or at least some form of credit by going through these created links, instead of going to Amazon directly. Theoretically, I could've gone through other previously created links as seen throughout most of my posts, and then redirected myself to the desired books for the same result. But I wanted to be sure, so I created these direct links. But then I thought, why not write about them too ...

My favorite "Screenwriting Guru" is William C. Martell, probably because I don't think he refers to himself as a "Screenwriting Guru". But even if he does, he deserves that title. Compared to so many of the other so-called "Screenwriting Gurus", he may be the only one who actively writes screenplays.

He wrote a series of "little blue books" about screenwriting that I already have in printed form. Each with a different topic in mind. Each full of practical wisdom. He took three of those "little blue books" and expanded them by adding many, many more pages and turned them into Kindle books. Although they have maybe three to four times as many pages, they sell for about 3/5 the cost of the printed edition. Plus, you save on shipping costs too.

His masterpiece however is "The Secrets of Action Screenwriting"! The highly sought printed edition has been out of print for a few years and has since skyrocketed in price! Selling on Amazon from $180 on up! Almost $400 for a new copy. Quite an investment, if you bought it for $19.95, or maybe even $24.95; and then you sell it in about ten years or so for almost $400. That's almost 16-20 times your money in about a decade. Or what's known in the financial world as a miracle investment!

But the true value of the books is the wisdom Martell imparts. He learned as he wrote. And as he studied movies too. He applied what he learned to his writing.

Since the book's been out of print he's been revising, updating, and expanding it. Now the book's more than twice the size of the original. And it's only $9.99 on Kindle. So you get more than twice the material of what would cost at least $180 for only 1/18 the cost!

And all four books together cost you about the same or even less than the original out-of-print book.

Learn practical advice from someone who writes screenplays. He doesn't offer mere conjecture and theories; he tells you what works. And he knows what works, because he works as a screenwriter!

You can enjoy his free daily tips too at his website: http://www.scriptsecrets.net/

And while you're buying books for Kindle, be sure to purchase:

If you want to save money and enjoy reading Kindle books, but you don't want to buy a Kindle:

Click Here for Amazon's Free Kindle Reader Apps!

If you write screenplays, please let me know. What genre. Where you submit. Do you have an agent? What success you've enjoyed. Etc.

And just for fun, when you want to buy something from Amazon.com, click there through one of my links!
Blessings & Joy,

Dean Burkey

Enjoy "Holy Laughter!" on Kindle without a Kindle!

Yay! "Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible" is available on Kindle for only $2.99!

What if we don't have a Kindle? Oh no! What are we going to do?

Kindles run from $79 to about $200. Maybe thousands of dollars more if we weld diamonds onto the casing. Or cover the casing with gold. But that would be silly, because the gold makes the Kindle heavier and creates a burnt plastic smell. Or so I've heard.

But on the other hand, if we're trapped inside a glass box, we can cut our way out with the diamonds.

That's up to you, your budget, and the guidance of your financial advisor.

Unless his name is Mr. Ponzi. Because rumor has it that he has a scheme.

Back to the best book ever to be on Kindle now being offered for only $2.99! We can enjoy "Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible" on Kindle for only $2.99 without having a Kindle!

Wow! We can read a Kindle book without having to have a Kindle. That saves us at least $79 to $200. Saves us thousands of dollars if we planned to do the diamond/gold welding thing. Might work better if we use a hot glue gun instead of welding equipment. Right away we save the cost of renting a welder's mask.

Being able to read Kindle books without a Kindle also saves us much more money by letting us buy our books for less money! Including, but not limited to, "Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible" being on sale for one fifth the cost of the printed edition!

Plus, we help save the trees by not having to use paper. And we want the trees to be happy, because they give us oxygen, food, and maple syrup. I hear that hollow ones house elves who make cookies! If we didn't have trees, we'd never wonder if they make a sound when no one's around.

Saving money and saving trees is all well and good. And so is saving space! With Kindle books, we don't need bookshelves. Which not only saves space, but saves us more money and saves more trees too.

To enjoy this amazing feat of reading Kindle books without a Kindle:

Click Here for Amazon's Free Kindle Reader Apps!



Blessings & Joy,

Dean Burkey

The Kindle Edition of "Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible" Is Now Only $2.99!

The Kindle Edition of "Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible"

Is Now

Only $2.99!

Save a Tree! 

Save Shipping Costs!

Save 80 % Off the Price of the Printed Edition!

The Kindle Edition of "Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible"

Is Now

Only $2.99!

That's 1/5 the Price of the Printed Edition!

That's Less than a Foot-Long Sub.

Less than a Movie Ticket! Even at Matinee Prices!

Less than a Speeding Ticket and A Lot More Fun!

Less than ... Less than ... Anything that Costs $3 or More!

There Aren't Many Things that Can Make You Laugh for Less than $3.

Not Things You Can Talk about in Church; That Is.

But This Is:

Comedian-Written & Pastor-Approved!

This Book's Filled with Humor That's

Clean Enough to Tell Your Pastor;

and Funny Enough to Tell Your Friends.

The Kindle Edition of "Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible"

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Blessings & Joy,

Dean Burkey