Published on Dec 2, 2012 by
Just For Laughs Gags
Steve Martin:
(paraphrased from memory):
Here's a gag you can pull when you go skiing.
When you get on a ski lift next to a stranger,
look at their name on their skis
and act like you know them.
This is so much fun.
I did this to one guy;
and he looked at me like I was complete moron.
His name was Rental.
Steven Wright:
I got an answering machine for my phone.
Now when I'm not home and somebody calls me up,
they hear a recording of a busy signal.
I like to leave messages before the beep.
Mitch Hedberg:
I used to live here in Los Angeles.
I had an apartment; and I had a neighbor.
And whenever he would knock on my wall,
I knew he wanted me to turn my music down.
And that made me angry, cause I like loud music.
So when he knocked on the wall, I’d mess with his head.
I’d say, “Go around! I cannot open the wall.
I don’t know if you have a doorknob on the other side,
but over here there’s nothing. It’s just flat!”
Mitch Hedberg:
If you don’t know a light bulb
is a three-way light bulb,
it messes with your head.
You reach to turn it off; and it just gets brighter!
“That’s the exact opposite
of what I wanted you to do!”
So you turn the switch again;
and it gets brighter once more!
“I will break you, light bulb!”
Mitch Hedberg:
I went to a restaurant with my friend,
and he said, “Pass the salt.”
I said, “Screw you! Sit closer to the salt.”
P.S.
The real prank might be that those are jokes,
not actual pranks, but the videos are of pranks.
If you really want to hear about some real pranks,
check out my previous post at My Favorite Blog:
My Favorite Pranks
Just For Laughs Gags
Steve Martin:
(paraphrased from memory):
Here's a gag you can pull when you go skiing.
When you get on a ski lift next to a stranger,
look at their name on their skis
and act like you know them.
This is so much fun.
I did this to one guy;
and he looked at me like I was complete moron.
His name was Rental.
Steven Wright:
I got an answering machine for my phone.
Now when I'm not home and somebody calls me up,
they hear a recording of a busy signal.
I like to leave messages before the beep.
Mitch Hedberg:
I used to live here in Los Angeles.
I had an apartment; and I had a neighbor.
And whenever he would knock on my wall,
I knew he wanted me to turn my music down.
And that made me angry, cause I like loud music.
So when he knocked on the wall, I’d mess with his head.
I’d say, “Go around! I cannot open the wall.
I don’t know if you have a doorknob on the other side,
but over here there’s nothing. It’s just flat!”
Mitch Hedberg:
If you don’t know a light bulb
is a three-way light bulb,
it messes with your head.
You reach to turn it off; and it just gets brighter!
“That’s the exact opposite
of what I wanted you to do!”
So you turn the switch again;
and it gets brighter once more!
“I will break you, light bulb!”
Mitch Hedberg:
I went to a restaurant with my friend,
and he said, “Pass the salt.”
I said, “Screw you! Sit closer to the salt.”
P.S.
The real prank might be that those are jokes,
not actual pranks, but the videos are of pranks.
If you really want to hear about some real pranks,
check out my previous post at My Favorite Blog:
My Favorite Pranks
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