Book Description
Heaven-Bent HUMOR: The DEAN Adventures
Wouldn’t you rather have your humor be Heaven-Bent than bent the other way?
Whether Dean’s backpacking with Bigfoot in Bermuda, time-traveling with movie stars, or inadvertently destroying worlds beyond ours, this guy knows how to have fun! Enjoy his crazy, quite possibly insane, adventures! He encourages you to discover your super powers; and to use them for good.
What will Dean do with the billions he makes from the sale of this book? Find out inside! And encourage billions of others to do so too. Especially if they pay full price!
Inventive, funny, suspenseful, each story provides a mini-vacation away from the burdens of your day. So get your ticket to fun now; and start reading. Destination: Comedy! Guaranteed to make you laugh.*
Table of Contents
“Funny Thing Is …”
“Powerful Panda Points and Other Super Thoughts”
“I Have Amazing Super Powers; and So Too Can You!”
“The Worst Nightmares Ever”
“How to Become a Superhero (Without Having Your Home Planet Explode)”
“I Drink String Beans!”
“The Perfect Plan: Foiled!”
“The Perfect Plan: Foiled! 2: Holy Chip!”
“Spice Boy!”
“My O.B.E.!”
“An Inconvenient Fiction”
“Mister Dean: The Party Animal!”
“As You Celebrate Independence Day, Ask Yourself This”
“Jacko, Elvis, and The Albino Bigfoot”
“Eyewitness Proof That Life Existed on Other Planets!”
“Why I Should Be a Billionaire”
“Getting Ready for the End of the World”
“Food Phobia”
“Joining the Dark Side”
“Time-Traveling with Hollywood Hunks”
“Dear Supermodels”
“My Epic 6-Part “Inside-Out” Adventure!”
Part 1: Beggar Gone Bad!
Part 2: The Unexpected Peril of Paramotoring
Part 3: Down the Dragon’s Hole!
Part 4: Inside the Hollow Earth!
Part 5: The Perfect Ploy to Take Over the World!
Part 6: Is This Really The End?
“Me Jailed?! I Didn’t Know! Did You Know?”
“Me Jailed?! I Didn’t Know! Did You Know? 2: Locked Up During Lockdown”
“Don’t Fall in Love with a Psycho”
“What Makes a Psycho a Pyscho?”
“How to Turn a Video into a Movie”
“Sanity Check: Pass Or Fail?”
“The Wing Man’s Revenge”
“The Over-Salted Pretzel Conspiracy Theory”
“Aged to Perfection”
“Daunting Date Ads”
“Free Cookies Are Great, Even If They’re Crummy”
“Unfortunately, Fargon Is Now Far Gone”
“How We Spend Our Last Day on Earth Says A Lot About Who We Are”
“Don’t Mention It?”
“Silly Silly Bands”
“Hanging Out with Supermodels Is Fun”
“Thank You Warren Buffett!”
“How I Hypnotized Myself into Becoming Mega-Rich”
“Oh Honeybell, Honeybell, Orange You Glad I Finally Found You?”
“I Dream of the DirectTV Genie”
“I’m in Smokepoint’s New Music Video: ‘Escape from Braddock Forest’”
“Time-Traveling with Hollywood Hunks 2: The Uncivil Civil War”
“Backpacking with Bigfoot in Bermuda”
“Canoeing with Sharks”
“Canoeing with Sharks 2: Am I Really on the Menu?”
“Crab Cakes Gone Wild!”
Before you buy this book, take a Look Inside!
* I guarantee you will find something in this book to make you laugh. If not, return it in less than a week; and Amazon will issue a refund. You have nothing to lose and lots of laughter to gain, so scroll up; and click the Buy button now.
Product Details
- File Size: 206 KB
- Publisher: http://heaven-bent.com (April 15, 2013)
- Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
- Language: English
- ASIN: B00CDGV9Q8
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- X-Ray: Not Enabled
- Lending: Enabled
From Heaven-Bent HUMOR:
The DEAN Adventures:
Because nothing honors a person’s memory
more than having a potato chip
with that person’s likeness enshrined for all to see.
From Heaven-Bent HUMOR:
The DEAN Adventures:
Don’t forget to wrap your head in aluminum foil too,
so those intergalactic fiends can’t read your mind.
Otherwise,
no one else in the field of extra-terrestrial relations
will take you seriously.
The pinwheel hat is optional.
From Heaven-Bent HUMOR:
The DEAN Adventures:
The government should charge
a hefty Non-Superhero Tax to billionaires
who aren’t superheroes,
to fund folks who want to be superheroes,
but can’t afford the exorbitant costs
of costuming and gadgetry.
From Heaven-Bent HUMOR:
The DEAN Adventures:
My neighbor baked me cookies.
Isn’t that sweet?
She wanted to thank me
for helping her bury her grandfather
in a new vegetable garden in her backyard.
She couldn’t afford a coffin or a burial plot,
so I helped her out, because I know how tough times are.
The weird thing is,
her grandfather resembled her husband
who’s been missing ever since.
From Heaven-Bent HUMOR:
The DEAN Adventures:
Never thought I’d wind up in jail.
An asylum? Sure.
It’s a such crazy world, you’d be nuts not to go insane.
From Heaven-Bent HUMOR:
The DEAN Adventures:
Since Bigfoot and I had so much fun
backpacking in Bermuda,
we decided to go camping.
Sadly, many campground owners are raving species-ists.
They don’t allow “animals” to stay at their campgrounds.
More sadly, um, sadliericious,
they think of Bigfoot as an animal and not a hairy uncle.
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