Easter Cheer

Easter Cheer

by
Dean Burkey

Photo Source: Olde Naples Chocolate

Today is Good Friday. 
Christianity is the only religion that calls the day 
their Founder got killed a good day. 

And I think they call this week Holy Week, 
because they’re busy hiding Easter eggs in holes. 

In honor of Holy Week and Easter, 
the gym’s offering Pontius Pilates.  

It’s just like regular Pilates, 
but afterwards, 
there’s a lot more hand-washing.

I think Easter reached the point 
of over-commercialization 
when they started making chocolate crucifixes.  

Is that suppose to ward off chocolate vampires?  
“Count Chocula, how did you get in here?  
No problem, I have one of these!”    

If Jesus married Mary Magdalene; 
and they had a Child, 
could that Baby crawl on water?

All the Best,

Dean Burkey

P. S. Have a safe and happy holiday weekend!

Uploaded on Aug 10, 2011 by
lwentertainment

From 
“Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible”:
Christian books 
are cross-referenced.

From 
“Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible”:
When Jesus carried lumber for Joseph, 
He was cross training.

From 
“Faith like a Ketchup Seed”:
Some people say The Bible is 
God’s Love Letter to humanity, 
but I think The Bible’s far more significant 
than a note from God asking us: 
“Do you like Me?  Check one.”

From 
“Faith like a Ketchup Seed”:

Is it still considered walking on water 

if the water is frozen; 

and the “water-walker” wears skates? 

From 
“The Christian Comedy Combo Platter!”:
Why would they pave Paradise 
to put up a parking lot?  
Instead, they should pave Hell 
to put up an ice cream stand.

Tim Hawkins - Hedge of Protection

Uploaded on Nov 1, 2009 by
mauler90

Faith like a Ketchup Seed

Faith like a Ketchup Seed

It's not the faith of a mustard seed, 

but it still guides me through life 

and tastes great on hot dogs.

-- Dean J. Burkey

For less than a buck on Kindle, 

you can enjoy lots of laughs, 

possibly find inspiration, 
and maybe cry a tear or two. 

I said can, possibly, and maybe. 

I make no guarantees, 

but I do feel emphatic that you will find 

at least one or two things that you love 

and one or two that you hate. 

(Or don't love as much.)

A few of my favorites are: 

An Ice Memoir (One Molecule Can Make a Difference), 

Church Skit: Interview with Jesus, 

Across the Multiverse, and 
Upside-Down Sharks Prove the Existence of God.

Your favorites might differ from mine completely. 
That's the power of variety.
And the joy of subjectivity.

Unfunny folks who cannot comprehend satire and parody 

may find themselves offended by: 

You're a Christian What?!, Stalker Almighty, 

Satan's Cereals, and more. 

Sadly, some people can't find the humor 

in a ham and cheese sandwich 

being possessed by dark forces.

(Which shows how little they know about nutrition.) 

Faith like a Ketchup Seed 

makes a great companion piece to my first book: 

Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible. 

Enjoy them both for less than four dollars. 

Blessings & Joy,

Dean

"Faith like a Ketchup Seed" Is Now on Kindle!

"Faith like a Ketchup Seed"

Is Now on Kindle!

By the author of “Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible” comes a collection of Christian comedy: Essays, blog posts, Bible studies, devotions, short stories, stand-up routines, even a skit and a sci-fi tale.


Family-friendly. Sunday school-friendly. Even pulpit-friendly!

The Table of Contents: 

“Proverbs, Parables, & Ponderings” 

“A Godly, Christian Way” 

“Thank God I’m Not God” 

“The Water-Walking Shuffle” 

“Divinity Is Hard!” 

“The Dissected Body of Christ” 

“Second Baptist Church” 

“God’s Biggest Mistake” 

“Too Lazy to Feed the Lions” 

“The Mediocre Samaritan” 

“What Would Jesus Do?” 

“Fast Food Royalty” 

“Sometimes I Pray with a British Accent” 

“How to Sanctify Unsavory Songs” 

“Facebook Fun” 

“You’re a Christian What?!” 

“Breakfast Cereals of the Bible 

and the People Who Love Them” 

“Satan’s Cereals” 

“Repossessed” 

“Forward Phobia: Evil Emails” 

“Who Was the Greatest Comedian in the Bible?” 

“The Comedy Concept 

Behind ‘Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible’” 

“Divine Definitions” 

“Hey Dude! Hey!” 

“Stalker Almighty” 

“Across the Multiverse” 

“What If People in the Bible 

Had Their Own Games?” 

“May I Ask You 

an Intensely Personal Question?” 

“Upside-Down Sharks 

Prove the Existence of God” 

“Lessons from the Yard” 

Church Skit: “Interview with Jesus” 

“For Best Results” 

“An Ice Memoir 

(One Molecule Can Make a Difference)” 

“Jojo: 3:16” 

“Why Do I Want to Walk on Water?” 

“Life’s Most Profound Question”.

Parody, satire, silliness. Some strong theological points. Mostly comedy. The skit gets serious; and so does what my pastor calls the strangest telling of the Gospel ever: “An Ice Memoir (One Molecule Can Make a Difference)”.


Only $2.99 for about 18,000 words. That’s lots of laughs for less than a gallon of gas. 


Learn my theories that prove the existence of God. Wonder why an ice cube can make you cry. Find out why I’m obsessed with wanting to walk on water. Laugh guilt-free.


If you enjoy “Holy Laughter!”, you’ll love this too.


Good, clean fun.


And I mean that, in a Godly, Christian way.

Blessings & Joy,

Dean Burkey


P.S. Enjoy my other Kindle comedy book too:



            

Only $2.99 each!

Lots of laughs for less than a gallon of gas!

Funny Fun for Teens and Adults. 

No foul language, except as noted in Exit Strategies.

Seasons Without Reason: Funny short stories. Quirky vignettes. Parodies, Spoofs. Silly fun. Over two dozen. Each one’s different. Some adult themes. Secular. Varies from G to PG-13.

Monster Laughs: Comedy novel about a Paranormal Investigator who battles monsters. Dracula, The Werewolf, Frankenstein’s Monster, etc. Silly fun. Some adult themes, more or less. Each chapter stands on its own, while a story weaves its way throughout the book. Secular. PG-13.

Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible: Humor in the Bible, plus comedic commentary. Christian. Focuses on the Funny throughout, but still gives the Gospel message at the end and in the Resurrection section: “For Sale: One Tomb, Slightly Used.” G. 

Exit Strategies: Novella. Comedy, drama, romance. Criminal activity, adult themes/situations, more or less. Secular. PG-13. The most intense of the four. (Uses the word the King James Bible uses for donkey.)

The best deals on a cost-per-word basis are 

Monster Laughs and Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible, 

because Seasons Without Reason and Exit Strategies 

are both under 30,000 words each. 

Your best bet?

Pick the one that interests you the most!

Click each title to find out more about each one.

If you don’t have a Kindle, 

click the Free Kindle Reading Apps’ banner above 

to download Kindle Cloud Reader onto your computer for free.