Showing posts with label Bible. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bible. Show all posts

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Why There Is No Hello Without the o


Photo Source: 
Cover picture of fire by alejost848 
from http://www.clker.com/clipart-244631.html
Used with permission.

Why There Is No Hello 
Without the o


Intriguing little book with lots to say. Teems with humor more than I’m able to convey here. 

Ray Divine comes across as someone who used to be a Christian, but then changed his mind. Or acquired new information. He’d probably say “became enlightened”. 

While he seems too flippant about such a serious topic as eternal destiny, and quite a bit vengeful against those who tout such beliefs, he makes several valid points negating the possibility of a place where people suffer for eternity. 

As the subtitle of the books says, Ray presents: “How the Concept of Eternal Torment Isn’t Supported by Scripture or Reason”. 

I’ll skip the scriptural reasons; and let you buy the book for those. 

Some of the logical reasons resonate well with me. 

Ray writes: Since justice is when the punishment fits the crime, how can eternal torture be fair for a lifetime, no matter how long or wicked that life may be? Especially the life of beings who never asked to be created! That doesn’t make God look too good either. And God, if anything, likes to look good. 

“If you’re sentenced forever, there’s no room for rehabilitation or parole, so it’s just vengeance. Merciless vengeance! And that from a Supreme Being whose online dating profile clearly touts love and mercy as being His finest features. 

Ray also pokes fun at how Christians believe that those who get spared the horrors of Hell will sing God’s praises for eternity: 

“Let’s say you’re an attractive Jewish woman during the Nazi regime. While most everyone you know and love is being tortured and killed, Hitler himself finds you attractive, or he secretly likes the way you butter your bagels, if you know what I mean, so he spares your life. Now are you really going to love Hitler for sparing your life?” 

Mr. Divine also includes the line: “Who wants to believe in a Deity where people can say that Hitler was a lot nicer?” 

Another excellent point that Ray makes: 

“One of the biggest paradoxes of Christianity is if you really believed someone will spend eternity in either Heaven or Hell, why would you have children and risk their spending eternity in torment? 

“With such beliefs, if it’s best not to have children, the species will die off after one generation. So how can such a belief system possibly benefit humanity?” 

Ray Divine makes a lot more points too, from both the Bible and logic, to prove how Hell can’t exist. At least not an eternal Hell. 

Worst case scenario: We get obliterated. Which, obviously, can ultimately prove to be highly inconvenient. But that’s still better than being tortured forever. Or having to sit in a confined space with a politician. Or a network marketer. 

Click Here to Shop at Amazon!


Some may find this offensive; others, enlightening:

George Carlin - You Are All Diseased.avi-.avi

Uploaded on Sep 2, 2010 by

Ray Divine
To be “politically correct”, 
we should stop calling it Hell; 
and instead, call it 
“a place that’s eternally 
pleasure-challenged”.

Ray Divine
If Jesus saves me from Hell, 
who saves me from His followers?

Ray Divine
They say Hell’s hot this time of year, 
but at least it’s a dry heat.”

Ray Divine
It’s not the heat in Hell that’s the problem. 
It’s the humidity. 
And the stench of burning brimstone. 

Ray Divine
Heaven and Hell both have shopping malls, 
but the sales in Hell aren’t as good. 
Which is ironic, 
because you’d think that every day in Hell, 
they’d have a fire sale. 

Rowan Atkinson Live The devil Toby welcomes you to hell

Uploaded on Jul 29, 2010 by

EvilTwinStore

Monday, February 25, 2013

Christian Comedy Combo Platter!




Book Description

 February 23, 2013
Two books in one: “Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible” and “Faith like a Ketchup Seed”, updated, with new bonus material not featured in either book before.

Comedian-Written & Pastor-Approved!

Christian comedy!

(Mostly comedy. A few parts are serious. Such as the sad story of an ice cube in “Faith like a Ketchup Seed”. Yeah, that’s right. It melts.)

“Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible”

With the “Divine Comedy” in Scripture, such as Elijah’s sarcastic insults to the prophets of Baal and the slapstick absurdity of David faking insanity, as well as Dean Burkey’s comedic commentary, readers should enjoy laughter of biblical proportions.

And not just any kind of laughter. Holy Laughter!

Which makes this the perfect book for anyone, because everyone needs to laugh.

Especially those who don't think they need to laugh. They need to laugh the most!

Includes lots of funny headings and one-liners, an insightful inspection of the Resurrection of Christ: “For Sale: One Tomb, Slightly Used”, “The Ultimate Movie Trailer!”, clever character sketches of Simon Peter, Pontius Pilate, and more!

Play “The Crosscheck Cookie Game!”

Whenever you find a wordplay with the word cross in "Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible": Eat a cookie. ... Or to be more fun: Eat a hot cross bun. ... Or to be healthy, eat a carrot.

“Faith like a Ketchup Seed”

Essays, blog posts, Bible studies, devotions, short stories, stand-up routines, jokes, even a skit and a sci-fi tale. Family-friendly. Sunday school-friendly. Even pulpit-friendly!

Learn my theories that prove the existence of God.

Wonder why an ice cube can make you cry. (I know, I already told you he melts, but why he melts is what makes this story so moving.)

Find out why I’m obsessed with wanting to walk on water.

Laugh guilt-free. If you enjoy “Holy Laughter!”, you’ll love “Faith like a Ketchup Seed” too.

Good, clean fun. And I mean that, in a Godly, Christian way.

The New Bonus Material includes Special Bonus Features for “Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible” including Deleted Scenes.

Extra Bonuses include: “The Loving Ten Commandments of God”, “Marry Mary Christmas! 

(A Monologue for Joseph)”, “The Hardest Part about Forgiveness”, “What I Like about the Devil”, “Remember, You’re Already Beautiful”, and my famous funny and/or thought-provoking fillers.

Product Details

  • File Size: 340 KB
  • Publisher: Heaven-Bent (February 23, 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00BKP6BCU
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled 
  • X-Ray: Not Enabled 
  • Lending: Enabled

Blessings & Joy,
Dean Burkey


For more fun with comedy, 
every week day, 
check out: 
Comedy Jokes Blog


Uploaded on Oct 5, 2009 by
KoolAndTheGangVEVO





Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Happy Ash Wednesday!


Happy Ash Wednesday!


Dean Burkey portraying St. Paul
for St. Paul Lutheran Church videos produced by Jeff Miller
Photo by: David Wehman

Happy Ash Wednesday! 

Maybe thats an oxymoron. 

Like Happy Day of Repentance!

You’ll never guess what I’m giving up for Lent? 

Go ahead. Guess. 

All right, I’ll tell you. 

But the weird thing is, if I hadn’t asked you to guess, you would’ve guessed. 

(Whatever.) 

Okay, now remember, we’re supposed to give up something precious to us. 

Something near and dear to our hearts. 

So that’s right. 

I’m giving up Christianity for Lent. 

What else is most cherished by a Christian than his/her faith? 

I would have thought that after discovering that there is no H-ll*, which was my biggest problem with Christianity, that I would have embraced my faith with greater fervor. 

But I recently learned about something called The Belief Disconfirmation Paradigm

This is where you can prove a person’s faith is wrong; and more than likely, if the person has a lot invested in that faith, that person will not deny his faith, but instead, cling to it with greater tenacity, even after it’s been proven false. 

Most people think reading the Bible increases our faith. 

But not mine. 

When I read the Bible, I find the discrepancies and such that make me question and wonder. 

I realized that if I were an outsider looking at this faith, I would never believe it. 

But being raised in the faith, I’ve hung on and clung to it for quite some time. 

Off and on. 

Joshua told us not to waver between two opinions. 

Even Jesus said He didn’t want us to be hot or cold. 

So I’m giving up Christianity. 

And not just for Lent. 

I’m writing a book called “Faith Versus Doubt” which should chronicle some of my thoughts. 

The funny thing is, when I started the book, I really thought it would lead me in a different direction. 

That is, toward faith. Not against. 

But like I wrote in that forthcoming book: “No matter what I believed or didn’t believe throughout my long and winding journey of faith and doubt, I can honestly say: The story of Christ always makes me cry.” 

But Spider-Man 2 makes me cry too. When hes unmasked and passed out; and the people pass him over their heads. 

Very moving. 

In a macho, moving way. 

So my being moved doesn’t constitute my having faith. 

I still believe everything** I wrote last Friday

In fact, I wrote that after I wrote this. 

(Except for this part, obviously.) 

And I feel fine too. 

When you leave the faith, those who still believe will be convinced that your heart and/or mind and/or soul must be in a shambles. 

I hope we can still be friends. 

If not, were we ever really friends?

So anyway, ... 

If you believe in Jesus; and that faith sustains you and gives you hope. Alleluia! Praise the Lord. 

If you don’t believe in Jesus; and not having faith in Christ sustains you and gives you hope. Woo-Hoo! You go Boy or Girl! 

And either way, I wish a Happy Ash Wednesday to one and all!

Blessings & Joy,

P.S. I didn’t mean to sound flippant about such a sensitive issue. But I also didn’t know how else to broach the topic. 

* See my previous post: 

** See my previous post: 

Uploaded on Oct 1, 2008 by
JohnLennonMusic






   

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Monday, January 28, 2013

Book Review: Jackson Baer’s What the H-ll


Book Review: 
Jackson Baer
What the H-ll

by Dean Burkey



Photo Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005X2VI1U

*****************************************************

The book description found at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005X2VI1U reads as follows: 

Book Description

 October 11, 2011
What if everything you've been taught about Hell was wrong?

Many Christians think that Jesus is the only way to Heaven and those who

don't believe in Him will spend eternity in a literal and burning Hell. 

Is this what the Bible teaches? Will the majority of mankind spend

eternity in torment because they rejected God in this life?

"What the Hell" will show you what the Scriptures clearly teach about this subject
and where this idea of Hell came from. It's not about winning or losing
or even changing the Christian faith. It's about the honest pursuit of
truth.


whatthehellbook.com/the-book/

*****************************************************

That description intrigued me, so I had to read this book. Plus, it was FREE on Amazon Kindle yesterday, so that made me buy it! (Looks like it’s still FREE at the time of this blog posting, so hurry! Before the price goes back up.) 

My struggle with Christianity has always centered around H-ll, not Heaven, The Other H Place. Made no sense to me. No matter how many times well-meaning people and others tried to explain it. 

If a place of eternal torment exists, why do Christian people have children? Why risk your own progeny falling away and suffering in agony forever? 

How are we supposed to praise God for “saving” us, while others we know didn’t or wont make it? How can we be sure whether or not we have enough faith? And does our loving Lord and Savior Jesus Christ really want us to believe in Him only so we can avoid burning in eternal torment? 

Surely, Jesus wants us to believe in Him, because of Who He Is and because of His great acts of love and mercy, not simply so we can acquire “Fire Insurance”. 

To reinforce what I had already hoped was true, this book points out how the notion of The Other H Place doesn’t exist in the original text of the Bible; and only came into being around the fifth century and later. So thank you Jackson Baer for that! 

My only problem with “The Other H Place” not existing, is, in my mind, that rid us of the need for Jesus. Which didn’t feel right either. There are too many fulfilled prophecies and other historical facts to support Jesus. 

Jackson Baer points out that although there isn’t an eternal place of punishment, there will still be punishment meted out for those who reject Christ in this life. And such punishment will feel like an eternity for those who suffer it. So we still need Jesus! And we still need to share The Good News of Christ’s victory over sin, death, and the Devil with the whole world. 

I enjoyed the book and recommend this to both believers and nonbelievers as the author spoke to the heart of many of my concerns. He shows from Scripture, that is from properly translated Scripture, what The Bible actually says. 

I have a greater appreciation for God knowing that His love and mercy truly endures forever.

Such teachings do not line up with my LCMS upbringing, but like Martin Luther said, “Unless I am convinced by Scripture and by plain reason ... Here I stand. I can do no other.” 

Blessings & Joy,


Uploaded on Sep 13, 2011 by

whatthehellbook




   


Currently* FREE* 
on Amazon Kindle:

 

 
 
 
 

Click Here for More Currently* FREE* Kindle Books!

Click Here for Some** Currently* FREE* MP3 Downloads!


* The prices for these books (and most** of the MP3s) were FREE at the time of this posting, but the prices are subject to change at any time, so be sure to get your FREE copies while you can. Just be sure the book listing says “Kindle Price: $0.00”. If the price has gone up, some of these aren’t that costly in the first place anyway.

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Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible

Happy New Month!
I wrote the following over a year ago, 
but never posted it!
I reworked it a bit to post now:




This book combines two of my lifelong loves -- Comedy and the Bible -- to present the humor that's in the Word and uncover other funny thoughts therein.

After I got out of the hospital following an appendectomy about 11-12 years ago, I started emailing family and friends to let them know I was okay. At first, I'd just copy and paste how well I improved, but then I started sending the same email to everyone at once. And from that grew a weekly "newsletter" of sorts. What would have been a blog, if I'd've known about blogging back then. With one of the weekly emails, I wrote about Humor in the Bible.

About 6 years ago, I performed standup comedy for my friend's church. Afterwards I wanted more comedy material, so I thought about turning that one email into a standup comedy show. So I added to what I had whenever I came across funny thoughts while reading the Bible.

Two years ago, my church went through the Bible in 90 days, so I made note of any humorous notions I found therein as well.

About two years ago, I sent a rough draft of the book to a friend to proofread, which she did magnificently. She color-coded her response. Red meant hilarious. Blue meant not funny. And no change meant funny, but not hilarious. So I took out the non-funny parts, or I made them funny. And reworked the book several times.

Although I had previously set several end time goals which I had failed to meet, on March 20, 2011, I decided that I would have my book done in four weeks, so I could give my aunt Betty B a copy for her birthday, for which a big party was planned for April 17.

So I worked and reworked, wrote and rewrote, until I finally had a printed book by April 17 to give to my aunt. (Really a proof, but it had the look of a book. Except for the page that says PROOF!

Finally I was finished. Until I was ready to create the Kindle edition and worked and reworked, wrote and rewrote again to ensure I made my book the best it could be.

Having published my first book, I've also learned how to host book-signings and how to design T-shirts, mugs, hats, and more!

Now I need to learn how to market better to accrue sales aplenty! 

http://www.zazzle.com/heavenbent?rf=238851028366967694



A much better deal is the Kindle version for only $2.99:


If you don't own a Kindle, use a Free Kindle Reading App:


And these comedy Kindle books are only 99 cents each:

   

Please click for a description.