The Beautiful Brilliance of Amazon's FREE Kindle Reading Apps

The Beautiful Brilliance 
of Amazon’s FREE 
Kindle Reading Apps

by
Dean Burkey

Because Amazon offers a variety of FREE Kindle Reading Apps that let us read Kindle books the way we want, we can read Amazon Kindle books without a Kindle! 

As Amazon states, their FREE Kindle Reading Apps offer you: 

* The ability to read Kindle books with no Kindle device required, so not only can you can take advantage of Amazon’s great prices and selection, you can also enjoy reading Kindle books on your computer, tablet, and/or smartphone.

* Access to any book in your Kindle library, so you can start reading or keep reading whenever you have free time.

* Amazon’s Whispersync technology which synchronizes your furthest page read, bookmarks, notes, and highlights across all your devices. 

* Great Kindle features like dictionaries and Wikipedia that help you get more from your reading.

Have you ever highlighted something in a book, but then realized you highlighted the wrong thing? With Amazon Kindle books, which you can read without a Kindle by using their FREE Kindle Reading Apps, you can highlight and un-highlight as you deem best. That’s one of my favorite features! 

And that’s just some of The Beautiful Brilliance, Or Brilliant Beauty, of Amazon’s FREE Kindle Reading Apps. 

All The Best,

Dean Burkey

Come Back Friday September 12, 2014

Junk Food

Photo Source: Fried Food by Paul Lloyd

Junk Food

by
Dean Burkey

I started buying junk food. 

I tried to eat healthy, 
but whenever I’d buy healthy food, 
it would go bad before I ate it. 

So I figured I might as well buy food I’m gonna eat. 

We’re supposed to eat 
at least five servings a day 
of fruits and vegetables. 

A can of Sprite’s gotta be two servings, 
‘cause that’s lemon and lime. 

So I just need to drink two cans of Sprite 
and wolf down a strawberry Toaster Strudel; 
and then I can eat junk food.

All the Best,

Dean Burkey

Quicklaffs - Sandy Stec Stand Up Comedy

Published on Oct 24, 2012 by

quicklaffs

Bill Cosby: 
A word to the wise ain’t necessary. 
It’s the stupid ones who need the advice. 

Mitch Hedberg: 
I think a rotisserie is 
a really morbid Ferris wheel for chickens. 
We will take a chicken, impale it, and then rotate it. 
Spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water. 
I like dizzy chickens! 

Dean Burkey: 
Adding chocolate and coconut to fruits and nuts 
makes everything taste like a healthy Mounds bar. 

Steven Wright: 
There’s a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. 
In the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air. 

George Carlin: 
I’m not into working out. 
My philosophy is no pain, no pain. 

Jim Gaffigan - Cake - Beyond the Pale

Uploaded on Mar 12, 2009 by

jimgaffigancomic

These two faith-based books are FREE 
on Amazon Kindle from May 22-26, 2103:

Get This Super Fun Book for Super Fun FREE! May 1-5, 2013

Get This Super Fun Book 
for Super Fun FREE! 
May 1-5, 2013

by
Dean Burkey

Photo Source:
The photo of the author running from a Monster Crab
(a.k.a. Crab Cake Gone Wild)
is a mock-up still created by Brad Hudson using footage
from his film project “The Bad Clam”.
The background picture is A Cloudy Blue Sky by Photo Rack.

Book Description

Publication Date: April 15, 2013

Heaven-Bent HUMOR: The DEAN Adventures

Wouldn’t you rather have your humor be Heaven-Bent than bent the other way?

Whether Dean’s backpacking with Bigfoot in Bermuda, time-traveling with movie stars, or inadvertently destroying worlds beyond ours, this guy knows how to have fun! Enjoy his crazy, quite possibly insane, adventures!

What will Dean do with the billions he makes by this book? Find out inside! And encourage billions of others to do so too. Especially if they pay full price!

Inventive, funny, suspenseful, each story provides a mini-vacation away from the burdens of your day. So get your ticket to fun now; and start reading. Destination: Comedy! 

Table of Contents

Funny Thing Is …
Powerful Panda Points and Other Super Thoughts
I Have Amazing Super Powers; and So Too Can You!
The Worst Nightmares Ever
How to Become a Superhero (Without Having Your Home Planet Explode)
I Drink String Beans!
The Perfect Plan: Foiled!
The Perfect Plan: Foiled! 2: Holy Chip!
Spice Boy!
My O.B.E.!
An Inconvenient Fiction
Mister Dean: The Party Animal!
As You Celebrate Independence Day, Ask Yourself This
Jacko, Elvis, and The Albino Bigfoot
Eyewitness Proof That Life Existed on Other Planets!
Why I Should Be a Billionaire
Getting Ready for the End of the World
Food Phobia
Joining the Dark Side
Time-Traveling with Hollywood Hunks
Dear Supermodels
My Epic 6-Part “Inside-Out” Adventure!:
Part 1: Beggar Gone Bad!
Part 2: The Unexpected Peril of Paramotoring
Part 3: Down the Dragon’s Hole!
Part 4: Inside the Hollow Earth!
Part 5: The Perfect Ploy to Take Over the World!
Part 6: Is This Really The End?
Me Jailed?! I Didn’t Know! Did You Know?
Me Jailed?! I Didn’t Know! Did You Know? 2: Locked Up During Lockdown
Don’t Fall in Love with a Psycho
What Makes a Psycho a Pyscho?
How to Turn a Video into a Movie
Sanity Check: Pass Or Fail?
The Wing Man’s Revenge
The Over-Salted Pretzel Conspiracy Theory
Aged to Perfection
Daunting Date Ads
Free Cookies Are Great, Even If They’re Crummy
Unfortunately, Fargon Is Now Far Gone
How We Spend Our Last Day on Earth Says A Lot About Who We Are
Don’t Mention It?
Silly Silly Bands
Hanging Out with Supermodels Is Fun
Thank You Warren Buffett!
How I Hypnotized Myself into Becoming Mega-Rich
Oh Honeybell, Honeybell, Orange You Glad I Finally Found You?
I Dream of the DirectTV Genie
I’m in Smokepoint’s New Music Video: "Escape from Braddock Forest”
Time-Traveling with Hollywood Hunks 2: The Uncivil Civil War
Backpacking with Bigfoot in Bermuda
Canoeing with Sharks
Canoeing with Sharks 2: Am I Really on the Menu?
Crab Cakes Gone Wild!
Getting Messy with Nessie:
Part 1: Captain Steele Is No Captain Stubing!
Part 2: Meeting Someone Newed to Me
Part 3: Ripples of Regret
Part 4: The Hunt Begins
Part 5: Harpooned in the Heart
Part 6: Facing the Real Monster
Part 7: A Real Blast
Part 8: Sweet Dreams
All’s Crazy That Ends Crazy

Snippets

Because nothing honors a person’s memory more than having a potato chip with that person’s likeness enshrined for all to see.

Don’t forget to wrap your head in aluminum foil too, so those intergalactic fiends can’t read your mind. Otherwise, no one else in the field of extra-terrestrial relations will take you seriously.

The pinwheel hat is optional.

The government should charge a hefty Non-Superhero Tax to billionaires who aren’t superheroes, to fund folks who want to be superheroes, but can’t afford the exorbitant costs of costuming and gadgetry.

Never thought I’d wind up in jail.

An asylum? Sure. It’s a such crazy world, you’d be nuts not to go insane.

Before you buy this book, take a Look Inside!

---

Product Details File Size: 246 KB Publisher: http://heaven-bent.com (April 15, 2013) Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc. Language: English ASIN: B00CDGV9Q8 Text-to-Speech: Enabled  X-Ray: Not Enabled  Lending: Enabled

More Snippets!

From Heaven-Bent HUMOR: 
The DEAN Adventures:
With Jacko tagging along, 
I now know how the Abominable Snowman 
learned the Moonwalk. 
Silly yeti! 
He almost fell off a couple cliffs 
dancing backwards so much. 
Obviously trying to impress Jacko. 
Which also explains why the Abominable Snowman 
kept saying the word Thriller. 

From Heaven-Bent HUMOR: 
The DEAN Adventures:
The “handsomest” of them resembled Bigfoot. 
Only with ZZ Top beards 
and a Snidely Whiplash mustache. 
Strange race indeed. 
And that was just their women! 

From Heaven-Bent HUMOR: 
The DEAN Adventures:
I feel so sick, 
that National Geographic explorers 
keep coming to my house. 
Apparently, when I don’t feel well, 
I make the exact same sounds as a dying yeti. 
Or a plesiosaur giving birth. 

From Heaven-Bent HUMOR: 
The DEAN Adventures:
The singing sensation continued, 
“Here, no one knows I faked my death; 
and no one knows me as Elvis, 
the King of Rock and Roll. 
Instead they know me as”--
--He led me into a cave 
filled with hundreds of primitive people 
who cheered at Elvis and shouted in unison: 
“Kimosabe!” 
“They think you’re the Lone Ranger?!” 

From Heaven-Bent HUMOR: 
The DEAN Adventures:
The plaster started to crack, 
which meant that with just a little more pressure, 
I’d be pulled in half. 
Or pulled so far apart, 
I’d be left paralyzed from the eyebrows down. 
One side yanked; the other side yanked. 
Both sides yelled. 
It looked like this could be the end of me! 
So why couldn’t they wait one more day? 
Tonight’s supper was supposed to be PBJ Soufflé! 


From Heaven-Bent HUMOR: 
The DEAN Adventures:
 That was either Bigfoot crying because he missed me. 
Or the Scorpion King got his tail 
caught under an automatic garage door again. 
What a klutz!

All the Best,

Dean Burkey

Book Review: Jackson Baer’s What the H-ll

Book Review: 
Jackson Baer’s 
What the H-ll

by Dean Burkey

Photo Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005X2VI1U

*****************************************************

The book description found at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005X2VI1U reads as follows: 

Book Description

Publication Date: October 11, 2011

What if everything you've been taught about Hell was wrong?

Many Christians think that Jesus is the only way to Heaven and those who

don't believe in Him will spend eternity in a literal and burning Hell. 

Is this what the Bible teaches? Will the majority of mankind spend

eternity in torment because they rejected God in this life?

"What the Hell" will show you what the Scriptures clearly teach about this subject

and where this idea of Hell came from. It's not about winning or losing

or even changing the Christian faith. It's about the honest pursuit of

truth.

whatthehellbook.com/the-book/

*****************************************************

That description intrigued me, so I had to read this book. Plus, it was FREE on Amazon Kindle yesterday, so that made me “buy” it! (Looks like it’s still FREE at the time of this blog posting, so hurry! Before the price goes back up.) 

My struggle with Christianity has always centered around H-ll, not Heaven, The Other H Place. Made no sense to me. No matter how many times well-meaning people and others tried to explain it. 

If a place of eternal torment exists, why do Christian people have children? Why risk your own progeny falling away and suffering in agony forever? 

How are we supposed to praise God for “saving” us, while others we know didn’t or won’t make it? How can we be sure whether or not we have enough faith? And does our loving Lord and Savior Jesus Christ really want us to believe in Him only so we can avoid burning in eternal torment? 

Surely, Jesus wants us to believe in Him, because of Who He Is and because of His great acts of love and mercy, not simply so we can acquire “Fire Insurance”. 

To reinforce what I had already hoped was true, this book points out how the notion of “The Other H Place” doesn’t exist in the original text of the Bible; and only came into being around the fifth century and later. So thank you Jackson Baer for that! 

My only problem with “The Other H Place” not existing, is, in my mind, that rid us of the need for Jesus. Which didn’t feel right either. There are too many fulfilled prophecies and other historical facts to support Jesus. 

Jackson Baer points out that although there isn’t an eternal place of punishment, there will still be punishment meted out for those who reject Christ in this life. And such punishment will feel like an eternity for those who suffer it. So we still need Jesus! And we still need to share The Good News of Christ’s victory over sin, death, and the Devil with the whole world. 

I enjoyed the book and recommend this to both believers and nonbelievers as the author spoke to the heart of many of my concerns. He shows from Scripture, that is from properly translated Scripture, what The Bible actually says. 

I have a greater appreciation for God knowing that His love and mercy truly endures forever.

Such teachings do not line up with my LCMS upbringing, but like Martin Luther said, “Unless I am convinced by Scripture and by plain reason ... Here I stand. I can do no other.” 

Blessings & Joy,

Dean

Uploaded on Sep 13, 2011 by

whatthehellbook

   


Currently* FREE* 
on Amazon Kindle:

 
 
 
 
 

Click Here for More Currently* FREE* Kindle Books!

Click Here for Some** Currently* FREE* MP3 Downloads!

* The prices for these books (and most** of the MP3s) were FREE at the time of this posting, but the prices are subject to change at any time, so be sure to get your FREE copies while you can. Just be sure the book listing says “Kindle Price: $0.00”. If the price has gone up, some of these aren’t that costly in the first place anyway.

Even if you don’t have a Kindle, you can still enjoy these FREE books by clicking the FREE Kindle Reading Apps banner above.

** Not all the MP3s listed are free, so check the price before buying. 

Books Currently FREE on Amazon!

Books Currently* FREE* 
on Amazon!

These first two might be fun 

for your kids, grand kids, nieces, nephews, 

and maybe even you!

Photo Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UKX2LA

Book Description

Publication Date: October 21, 2012

Looking for fun jokes for your kids? Jokes and riddles are a wonderful way for children to practice their memorization and presentation skills. Sharing jokes with their family, they will gain confidence and have fun!

Jokes and humorous stories, such as the ones found in this report, will encourage reading and recitation, not to mention that they are a fun way to spend time with the family. In addition, the thought involved in joke delivery and comprehension is no laughing matter. To be great at humor, a child must think critically and be able to make the associations drawn by a good joke.

Puns, riddles, and knock-knocks aren't just fun, they're important learning and development tools.

“Jokes for Kids: 300+ Jokes for Kids to Have Fun and Kill Time” have rib-tickling jokes about:

Food
School
Animals
Monsters and Zombies
At the Doctor
Family
Christmas Time
Scary Things
Pirates

Hurry! Have a copy of this book and have fun listening to kid’s jokes!

Article Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UKX2LA

Photo Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008YYLYVS

Book Description

Publication Date: August 16, 2012

"Rubber baby buggy bumpers" - Say this three times as fast as you can. How about, try saying " Loopy lizards lying lazily aloft a little lane of logs," without messing up. This Tongue Twister book is huge collection of funny phrases, ridiculous rhymes, and silly sentences that will have kids laughing for hours. Each one challenges your mouth muscles as you try to say these tongue twisters faster and multiple times.

A tongue twister is a phrase that is supposed to be difficult to articulate properly. Often times they take practice to say correctly. Tongue twisters are good practice for children as they learn to form words, phrases, and vowels. It's hard to say a tongue twister without a smile on your face. Each tongue twister in this book has it's own silly illustration. Kids will be entertained with these tongue twisters for hours.

Article Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008YYLYVS

These next two 

should help you become a healthier you!

Photo Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008HYK2V8

Book Description

Publication Date: July 5, 2012

Best Ab Exercises is not like most abdominal workout books out there--in fact, it does not contain a single traditional "crunch" or "sit-up" type exercise.

Indeed, the weakness in many workout routines that target your core is that a lot of those exercises work your stomach in near isolation. This is nothing like the way your abdomen and lower back operate in real life.

In a real-life situation, your core muscles work with other major muscle groups to provide stability and control for your whole body. That means that in your workouts, it's important to have your stomach and your back working together with those other muscle groups for optimal results.

That's what makes Best Ab Exercises different. The exercises you will learn in this book engage the major muscle groups in your upper or lower body (or both, depending on the specific exercise) while simultaneously working your core. The result is a more complete and effective ab routine that burns more fat, builds more muscle, and actually makes you stronger.

And let's not forget a vital component here—a core workout must involve not only your stomach but also your lower back. This book contains everything you need to know to work and stretch your lower back in addition to your abs, to maximize strength and minimize the risk of injury and lower back pain.

You'll learn a full range of different exercises, complete with detailed descriptions and pictures to ensure clarity and good form, that can challenge anyone, from a pure beginner to an experienced athlete.

A good core workout is absolutely essential. Whether your goal is to look better, get stronger, or just be healthier in general, effective ab exercises need to be a priority.

So pick up a physical or digital copy of Best Ab Exercises today—you'll learn an abdominal exercise routine you can keep using for the rest of your life.

Article Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008HYK2V8

Photo Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0097S74OQ

Book Description

Publication Date: September 7, 2012

Glutathione - The effects and benefits of glutathione are so numerous, having a positive effect on all diseases and yet people know so little about it.

This book was written to educate you on the one, most natural, most effective and yet completely non-toxic element you can add to your daily health regime to help and often get rid of: virus (yes, even HIV and Herpes), infection, inflammation, heart disease, cancer, diabetes, nerve disorders like Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, Chronic Fatigue and the list goes on.

Mastering the optimization of your health has never been easier. It's only a matter of being informed

Article Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0097S74OQ

Maybe healthy isn't what you're into; 

in which case, the next two 

will be perfect for you.

Photo Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0073X6EP2

Book Description

Publication Date: January 30, 2012

In tough times sometimes it's soothing to allow ourselves a delicious and decedent sweet treat.  And, we also want to stay healthy.  This cookbook was created to both satisfy your sweet tooth and your desire to stay slender.

From moist chocolate pudding cake, to mouth-watering Key Lime Pie, this cookbook is chock full of recipes that will satisfy you and your calorie count.

These recipes have been collected and tested by our family and friends for the best flavor and being easy and quick to make.  You'll love the recipe for Lisa's Chocolate Berry Tarts (my favorite), and Creamy Chocolate Cheesecake Brownies.  As you look through the table of contents, you'll have a hard time deciding what to make first!

Whether you want to make some simple afternoon snacks, or an magnificent dinner party show-stopper, these easy-to-make recipes will satisfy that sweet tooth while fitting into a healthy eating plan.

Each recipe has complete nutritional information.

So enjoy life! Scroll up and click "Buy Now" and enjoy scrumptious low-calorie desserts today!

Article Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0073X6EP2

Photo Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007LS3SFS

Book Description

Publication Date: March 16, 2012

Are you sick of buying big, expensive style books only to find a handful of pages that are relevant for you? Would you like to receive specific, tailored style advice that feels like it was written just for you?

Well, if you have a pear shaped body and you want to know exactly how to dress to flatter your shape you’re in luck. Every page of this book will be relevant for you. And it doesn’t matter what dress size you are. Whether you’re a petite pear, a curvy pear or a plus size pear, the same focal points and balance recommendations apply.

We say it often, because it’s worth repeating: it’s the FIT of your clothes that’s important to looking good, it’s NOT your size.

Jenna Halston and master dressmaker Robyn Roberts have created what could be the ultimate style guide for women with a pear shaped body. The book is packed full of easy to follow “golden rules” and straightforward tips, all based on the science of looking fabulous. Then they take it up a notch with a series of practical steps to help you edit your wardrobe and become a better shopper.
Read it through and you’ll be channeling your inner fashionista in no time.

This book is your secret weapon to looking sharper, sleeker and more sophisticated. Embrace it, walk tall, and get started on a new chapter in your life’s adventure.

Article Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007LS3SFS

Although I can't imagine 

why anyone wouldn't want FREE books, 

maybe you don't want any of these books; 

in which case, the following book 

may be worth your look.

Photo Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007Q13W7O

Book Description

Publication Date: March 29, 2012

Can’t say no?

You want to say no. You need to say no. But somehow you just can’t seem to do it. Maybe you owe someone. Maybe you’re feeling guilty putting yourself first – after all, don’t good people sacrifice for others? Or you can’t stand to disappoint your parents. How do you say nowithout feeling guilty – when there are so many “good” reasons to give in?

At some point, we’ve all struggled with how to set boundaries. No one likes conflict. No one wants to hurt or disappoint anyone. And we want to please others. But sometimes we sacrifice too much – and find ourselves feeling angry and resentful.

Dealing with Difficult People

Setting boundaries isn’t easy. In this simple, practical book, Stephanie Sterner reveals seven strategies for handling difficult people. And while many authors are content to fill their books with general advice, Stephanie has packed this guide with concrete examples of how to set boundaries gracefully.

Standing up for yourself can improve even your toughest relationships. That’s why Stephanie clarifies the concepts behind each option. Parroting someone else’s words is not enough; you need to choose the best response for your particular situation. You will finally be able to express your limits simply and clearly – and stick to them when the controlling, manipulation and guilt trips start. And the more you stand up for yourself, the more your self-esteem will soar.

How would it feel …?

Imagine making the choices you really want to make … and feeling comfortable doing so. No more need for the approval or agreement of others. (Of course, you can still consider their input.) No more resenting them for persuading you to do something “against your better judgment.” You’d feel stronger, more confident. And you’d lead a more fulfilling life – because your decisions would be supporting your highest values, not someone else’s.

There are so many books. Why this one?

Many authors tell you what limits to set and how to set them. Some have even created systems: formulas for you to follow whenever you need to say no. But these instructions are based on the authors’ values, not yours. And they don’t provide the understanding you need in order to choose your words – or handle the inevitable objections. With this deeper understanding, you no longer need to give in to pressure. You’ll no longer stand by helplessly, watching others ignore your wants and needs.

This concise guide does what many longer books fail to do. It shows you how you’ve unconsciously handed your power to others – and gives you plenty of ways to reclaim it, one boundary at a time. You will quickly understand the principles behind each approach, what it will accomplish and where it may fall short. You’ll be able to choose for yourself what to say and how to say it. After all, you’re the one who has to live with the consequences of your words. Wouldn’t you rather be empowered to select them yourself?

Stephanie wrote this book because she has lived it. She has personally faced the obstacles to standing up for herself. And she has helped clients to do the same. Because she cannot help everyone individually, she wants you to learn from her experience. She wants to give you a short-cut to the wisdom that comes from years of learning and applying the lessons of life.

Few books offer you so much in such a short space. This is a must-read for anyone who feels guilty or uncomfortable setting appropriate boundaries … even if it’s only sometimes.

Set your boundaries your way … because it’s your life.

Article Source: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007Q13W7O

* The prices for these books were FREE at the time of this posting, but the prices are subject to change at any time, so be sure to get your FREE copies while you can. Just be sure the listing says "Kindle Price: $0.00". If the price has gone up, some of these aren't that costly in the first place anyway.

Even if you don't have a Kindle, you can still enjoy these FREE books by clicking the FREE Kindle Reading Apps banner below.

Blessings & Joy,

Dean