Sunday, June 29, 2014

How to Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes Volume 4: Other Avenues of Amusement


How to Write 
All Kinds of Comedy Jokes
Volume 4: 
Other Avenues of Amusement 

Volume 4: "Other Avenues of Amusement"


Intersecting Humor Street at Comedy Corner, we find Other Avenues of Amusement: Cartoons, Improv, Screenwriting, Sketch Comedy, Sitcoms, and Written Comedy. Also includes a tip or two for writing Ads, Animated TV Shows & Movies, Comics, Greeting Cards, Merchandising, and Plays. With insights about “Monster Laughs” and “How to Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes”

These topics interweave in wondrous ways, so even if you’re only interested in one or two of these, such as Screenwriting and Sitcoms, read the rest anyway. Several suggestions for Written Comedy also apply to Screenwriting and Sitcoms. And vice versa. Instead of repeating myself too much, I spread the same information over these various topics. 

Table of Contents


Introduction 
Cartoons 
Improv 
Screenwriting 
Sitcoms 
Sketch Comedy 
Written Comedy 
This Volume Also Includes a Tip Or Two for Writing
Ads 
Animated TV Shows 
Animated Movies 
Comics 
Greeting Cards 
Merchandising 
Plays 
A Glimpse at the Topics Covered by Volumes 1 - 3 
Disclaimers 
Book Explanation & Source Citation 
Source Citation Key & Criticism/Commentary 
Thank You! 
Promos for Some of My Other Books


Special Bonus Features:


My Analysis of Mel Brooks’ Comedy Techniques 
as Exhibited in “Young Frankenstein” 
-------
Tips on How to Write Funny Flash Fiction 
Like Woody Allen 
-------
Writing Advice (From My Humor Blog) 


Please Note: Volume 4 is being released before Volume 2. 


Not Just Educational, 

But Entertaining Too!


All The Best,

Young Frankenstein (1974) Movie Trailer

Published on Mar 25, 2012 by

Excerpts from 
How to Write 
All Kinds of Comedy Jokes
Volume 4: 
Other Avenues of Amusement

So write a book. Almost any kind of book can use some humor. Even the Egyptian Book of the Dead could use a few limericks and a Tom Swiftie or two. If only Adolph had put some comedy into his Mein Kampf, maybe the Third Reich wouldn’t have gone so awry. Maybe malaprops, zeugmas, and zingers could’ve prevented both world wars. Excuse me, world conflicts. 
-------
Have fun with the thoughts of characters. Make them think anything! Keep track of your own wild imaginings and apply those to your characters. Spoof as needed. 

Have fun with Similes when you describe people, objects, events, etc. Narration and exposition never need to be boring, not when you can express the same information via comedy jokes. 

From “Monster Laughs”Trying not to panic, I fled, screaming, “Bloody murder!” 
-------
From My Analysis of 
Mel Brooks’ Comedy Techniques 
as Exhibited in “Young Frankenstein”:


There’s no funeral. Just a constable and two gravediggers burying the body. Nor do we see inside the coffin where the corpse appears to spit out dirt. 

Added: Although Freddy stands taller than Igor, he tells Igor: “Get down, you fool!” 

Altered: The gag about “Could be worse.”/“How?”/“Could be raining.” is in the script, but the rain starts right away in the movie, instead of a moment later in the script. Again, a comedic director taking something funny from the script and making it funnier. 

In the script: They dig up the body, wheel it down the street, and return to the castle without incident

Added: The hilarious encounter with the constable where Freddy acts as if the corpse’s extended arm is his own. 

Another fine and funny example of how adding difficulties can add humor. Also, the risk of getting caught adds suspense, which enhances the humor

Removed: The difficulty Freddy and Igor had getting the body out of the coffin and onto the operating table. 

Lesson Learned: Sometimes, instead of adding difficulty, it’s better to replace difficulties, picking the one that’s funniest.  
-------
From Tips on How to Write 
Funny Flash Fiction 
Like Woody Allen: 

Open with an Intriguing Line 

Which Is Soon Followed by a Funny Line

Woody [Allen] opens “Pinchuck’s Law” with: “Twenty years in the homicide division of the N.Y.P.D. and, brother, you’ve seen everything. Like when some Wall Street broker juliennes his little petit four over who gets to work the channel changer, or this lovesick rabbi decides to end it all by salting his beard with anthrax and inhaling.” 

“Thus Ate Zarathustra” [by Woody Allen] opens with: “There’s nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope. On a recent trip to Heidelberg to procure some rare nineteenth-century duelling scars, I happened upon just such a treasure. Who would have thought that ‘Friedrich Nietzsche’s Diet Book’ existed?”






Making of Young Frankenstein

Uploaded on Sep 9, 2006 by





EvilTwinStore

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Super Me!


Super Me!

Super Me! 
Yes, Super Me 
with amazing Me powers 
far beyond those of mere mortal men. 

I noticed how skinny I started looking 
due to excessive stress resulting 
from family related issues, 
where my folks turned me over to the feds 
for masterminding a brilliant multi-bank heist, 
which would’ve worked perfectly, 
if only the batteries 
in my remote control detonating device 
had lasted a second or so longer. 



My parents probably wouldntve ratted me out, 
if Id given them a bigger cut of the take. 
But hey, 
Ive got my principles. 
The getaway driver never gets more than fifteen percent. 
... Or is that the hairstylist? 

Theres so much to think about 
when planning a multi-bank heist!  

After eating the undercooked breakfast burrito 
in the detainees café 
at the secret underground government facility 
where I was taken for questioning, 
I found myself unable 
to keep down solid foods for several weeks. 

So upon securing my parole, 
meaning having escaped, 
I decided to make a smoothie 
that would not only satiate my appetite, 
but also give me super powers. 

Which was why I went ahead 
and invented a Super Soldier Formula
similar to what the army used 
to create Captain America 
in World Disagreement Two


(Watch Now on Amazon Instant Video)

With the aid of a particle accelerator, 
DNA rewriting agent, 
and a hefty dose of purloined plutonium, 
I made sure my concoction would be even more powerful. 
Not only would my muscle mass increase immensely, 
my strength would increase exponentially, 
which, truth be told, 
defies some of the basic so-called “laws” of physics. 

Plus, my cognitive abilities would multiply as well. 
Even my heart would grow. 
To the extent that, 
instead of not giving a crap all the time, 
I would, from time to time, give a crap. 

But only if the person truly deserves 
being given a crap. 

My immediate induction 
into the Superhero Hall of Fame seemed ensured! 
Until, ... 

While busy pondering my superhero name 
-- Captain Multiverse, 
Super Dude, 
King Sweet Cheeks -- 
I accidentally knocked over the vial of serum, 
spilling it all over my desk. 

Whereupon the formerly frail wooden furniture 
suddenly increased in mass and broke my pinky toe. 

Although I only had to enough make that one batch, 
I still got a new name. ...  
Captain Busted Pinky Toe

But that name might change soon, 
since a drop or two of the serum landed on an ant 
as the tiny insect and his cohorts devoured a crumb 
from yet another undercooked breakfast burrito. 



My potential new name? 
Purina Ant Chow

The ant grew the size of a dump truck. 
With courageousness and clarity of thought, 
I called the Marines and SWAT. 

Unfortunately, 
that ant was a queen ant, 
a winged queen ant, 
so it flew away before the authorities arrived. 
Assessing the damage, 
they accused me of domestic terrorism, 
even though it was my own house, 
um, hideout, 
er, secret lair, 
that got destroyed. 

Didn’t help my case one iota, 
having a glowing chunk of plutonium 
on a nearby night stand. 



Sensing how a return visit 
to their secret underground government facility 
wouldn’t bode well, 
especially since they boarded up my escape route. 
(The Old Climb Out The Storm Cellar Trick.) 
So I pled insanity. 
And sadly, 
no one questioned that diagnosis. 

The consensus response was: 
“Yeah, okay. That makes sense.”



My next post may be delayed, 
depending on whether or not 
the Maximum Security Asylum has free Wi-Fi. 

Oh, wait! 
Never mind. 
Looks like this place has a storm cellar. 

And by the way, 
Hannibal the Cannibal says hi. 

Until next time, be safe. 
And may all your breakfast burritos 
be thoroughly cooked. 

Antboy Official Trailer (HD) Superhero, Comedy

Published on Nov 5, 2013 by

Author Unkown:
(From: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/superherojokes.html)
How many caped crusaders 
does it take to change a light-bulb? 
... None. They like the dark.  

Ray Divine
Superheroes teach important lessons. 
Like fight for justice. 
Popeye taught us to eat our spinach. 
Wonder Woman taught women 
that if you want a guy to tell you the truth, 
tie him up and show him some cleavage. 

Dean Burkey
The one thing that doesn’t make sense about comic book superheroes is this: 
Why doesn’t the Hulk wear stretchy pants? 

Mitch Hedberg
If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal; 
and he shot me with his web, 
I would say, “Dude, thanks for the hammock.” 

Steven Wright
Half the people you know are below average. 

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Cough Medicine Pancakes


Cough Medicine Pancakes

Woke up way too early to turn on the lights. 
Any light would’ve been way to bright. 
I’m sure my thinking made Thomas Edison 
roll over in his grave, grumbling, 
“I didn’t test 10,000 + different filaments 
for you to cook in the dark!” 



But I figured 
assassins can dismantle 
and rebuild their weapons in the dark, 
so the least I could is make pancakes. 

They’re flat. 
How hard can it be? 



Seemed innocent enough. 
I could tell how done they were 
by the amount of singeing I smelled. 
And by the clanging of the smoke alarm. 

So scent and sound served me well. 
But not sight. 
Somehow when I reached for Mrs. Butterworth
I grabbed something else by mistake. 
... Glycodin Cough Syrup

On the plus side, 
I grabbed syrup. 
On the negative side, 
the syrup wasn’t maple. 

Usually with pancakes toppings, 
you worry about glucose. 
I had to worry about Glycodin. 
And something called codeine

Right away I knew something went awry, 
not only because of the off flavor, 
but because I instantly started singing 
“Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”. 



Although my pancakes tasted like, 
well, cough medicine, 
on the bright side, 
my bronchial congestion cleared up; 
I saw the face of God 
(She’s gorgeous!); 
and my pancakes now boast a street value 
of fifty bucks a pop. 

How silly of me to cook in the dark. 
I’ll never make that mistake again. 
Have a great week; 
and come back next time for: 
Cough Medicine Waffles. 
Dean Burkey

Disclaimer: 
None of this really happened. 
(At least that I care to admit.) 
Ah-choo!
See? 

Click Here to Shop at Amazon!



Man Stroke Woman - Man Cold

Uploaded July 29, 2009 by

Jerry Seinfeld
I hate the waiting room 
because it’s called the waiting room 
so there’s no chance of not waiting. 
It’s built, designed, and intended for waiting. 
Why would they take you right away 
when they’ve got this room all set up? 
And you sit there with your little magazine. 
You pretend you’re reading it 
but you’re really looking at the other people. 
“I wonder what he’s got.” 
Then the finally call you, 
and you think you’re going to see the doctor, 
but you’re not. 
You’re going into the next 
smaller room waiting room. 
Now you don’t even have your magazine. 
You’ve got no pants on. 
You’re looking at colon-cancer brochures, 
peeking out the blinds.

Brian Regan
So my eye doctor told me this, 
I’m not making it up. 
He goes, “You know you have one eye 
set a little bit higher than your other eye?” 
“No... I didn’t know that.” 
He goes, “It’s no big deal. 
It doesn’t affect your vision or anything. 
I just though you might want to be 
self-conscious for the rest of your life.” 

Dean Burkey
My boss said he wanted to go viral. 
So I sneezed on him. 
And coughed in his face. 
... Maybe I should have said ex-boss. 

Mitch Hedberg
As a comedian, 
you have to start the show strong 
and you have to end the show strong. 
Those are the two key elements. 
You can’t be like pancakes. 
You’re all happy at first, 
but then by the end, 
you’re sick of ‘em. 

Steven Wright
I went to the eye doctor 
and found out I needed glasses for reading. 
So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. 


Kyle Kinane - Pancakes on a plane

Published April 28, 2013 by