I’ve told only two lies this year.
The first to a little girl. Yep. I lied to a kid. I told her Mom that I loved the show Psych; and the Mom said her daughter likes that show. So I said that’s cool. And then the little girl said, “Wasn’t the musical the best episode ever?”
I don’t like to lie to anyone. Especially children. But she seemed so happy, so thrilled at the thought. And I’m just not the hope-killing, dream-crushing type. Which is why I’m not a career guidance counselor or a contest judge. So I just nodded and said, “Yeah.”
So there you have it, I lied to a little girl. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that obviously, the best episode ever was the one where Shawn got shot! What a thriller! Or the episode with the shark! Or the one with the Tyrannosaurus Rex bones. Or the ones with the UFO, werewolf, mummy, ghost, Despereaux, etc. Or if you’re a romantic, the episode with Franke Potente where Juliet overhears Shawn saying how much he loves her. Or the one where she kisses him! Practically any episode, except the sing-songy episode that made sure the next season would be the last. So I just nodded and said, “Yeah.”
That was earlier this year. My second lie wasn’t too long ago, when I told a pregnant woman that I didn’t think she was pregnant because of a bulge in her belly.
She’s such a sweet, strong, attractive woman whose feelings I didn’t want to hurt. And I’m sure I would’ve felt the same even if I didn’t think she could kill me before I could blink. Not that she would, but that she could. And maybe she would.
So that’s it! We’re already into December; and I’ve told only two lies this year. (So far.) Only two! Well, possibly three. But that’s only if you count the time I said: I’ve told only two lies this year.
The first to a little girl. Yep. I lied to a kid. I told her Mom that I loved the show Psych; and the Mom said her daughter likes that show. So I said that’s cool. And then the little girl said, “Wasn’t the musical the best episode ever?”
I don’t like to lie to anyone. Especially children. But she seemed so happy, so thrilled at the thought. And I’m just not the hope-killing, dream-crushing type. Which is why I’m not a career guidance counselor or a contest judge. So I just nodded and said, “Yeah.”
So there you have it, I lied to a little girl. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that obviously, the best episode ever was the one where Shawn got shot! What a thriller! Or the episode with the shark! Or the one with the Tyrannosaurus Rex bones. Or the ones with the UFO, werewolf, mummy, ghost, Despereaux, etc. Or if you’re a romantic, the episode with Franke Potente where Juliet overhears Shawn saying how much he loves her. Or the one where she kisses him! Practically any episode, except the sing-songy episode that made sure the next season would be the last. So I just nodded and said, “Yeah.”
That was earlier this year. My second lie wasn’t too long ago, when I told a pregnant woman that I didn’t think she was pregnant because of a bulge in her belly.
She’s such a sweet, strong, attractive woman whose feelings I didn’t want to hurt. And I’m sure I would’ve felt the same even if I didn’t think she could kill me before I could blink. Not that she would, but that she could. And maybe she would.
So that’s it! We’re already into December; and I’ve told only two lies this year. (So far.) Only two! Well, possibly three. But that’s only if you count the time I said: I’ve told only two lies this year.
Razzle-Dazzle with Zazzle
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The Original Lie Dectector Scientific Crime Solving Game
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Stand Up Comedy by Johnny Trabs
- Lying To Children
Published on Jun 7, 2012 by
Author Unknown:
(From: http://www.just-one-liners.com/category/beliefs/honesty/lies-honesty-characteristics)
A Lawyer’s Epitaph:
Beneath this smooth stone by the bone of his bone
Sleeps Master John Gill;
By lies when alive this attorney did thrive,
And now that he’s dead he lies still.
Art Rosenbaum:
(From: http://www.just-one-liners.com/category/beliefs/honesty/lies-honesty-characteristics)
Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly
and the players well.
Dean Burkey:
I’ll only lie to you,
if that’s what it takes,
to get you to trust me.
Helen Rowland:
(From: http://www.just-one-liners.com/category/beliefs/honesty/lies-honesty-characteristics)
Telling lies is a fault in a boy,
an art in a lover,
an accomplishment in a bachelor,
and second-nature in a married man.
Jerry Seinfeld:
(From: http://www.just-one-liners.com/category/beliefs/honesty/lies-honesty-characteristics)
I think that people who read the tabloids
deserve to be lied to.
Stand Up Comedy By Tina Kim
- Low-Rise Lies
Uploaded on Feb 18, 2009 by
