Monday, November 25, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving!


Sadly, 
while we have plenty 
for which we can give thanks, 
this is still the holiday 
where greeting card companies wish 
they could establish a stronger foothold, 
so they too can give thanks.

And while we are indeed thankful 
for our many blessings in the US, 
we’re still hesitant to be too thankful 
on Thanksgiving Day; 
lest the IRS come after us 
on Tax Day. 

Thanksgiving, 
a time when our gratitude 
increases our latitude. 

Goodbye health regimen 
while we gorge, 
sit around watching parades, 
and nap until it’s time to devour tons of leftovers. 

But we have to fatten up, 
so we can stay in long lines 
to get crazy deals on Black Friday. 

Of course, 
the ones giving the most thanks 
are the turkey farmers. 

And if you’re not grateful, 
you must be a turkey. 


Thanksgiving Recipes: Penguin or Turkey for Thanksgiving Dinner ?


Published on Mar 13, 2013 by


Woody Allen
As we know, 
for centuries Rome regarded the Open Hot Turkey Sandwich 
as the height of licentiousness; 
many sandwiches were forced to stay closed 
and only reopened after the Reformation. 
(From: “Thus Ate Zarathustra”)

Phyllis Diller
My cooking is so bad 
that my kids thought Thanksgiving 
was in memory of Pearl Harbor.

Dean Burkey
Not every turkey gets slaughtered on Thanksgiving. 
Many get elected to public office. 

Mitch Hedberg
If you go to the grocery store, 
you start to get mad at turkeys. 
You see turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. 
Somebody just needs to tell the turkeys, 
“Man, just be yourselves!” 

Jerry Seinfeld
I will never understand why they cook on TV. 
I cant smell it. Cant eat it. Cant taste it. 
The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, 
“Well, here it is. You cant have any. 
Thanks for watching. Goodbye.” 


Thanksgiving Story : Sam Killermann Stand Up

Uploaded on May 3, 2011 by

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