Some convicts break out of prison,
but others who get released,
commit petty crimes to get thrown back in.
Do the ones who want to get arrested again
get better meals?
Maybe they enjoy slop.
But then again,
some prisons are like resorts.
And yet,
they’re supposed to be a form of punishment.
Good citizens suffering with poverty
never had life as good
as some vicious, sadistic criminals.
Thanks to our misguided penal system.
Instead of being a deterrent;
it’s more of an enticement.
Unless you get thrown into a rinky dink prison.
Maybe those are the ones from which convicts escape.
Hoping they’ll get caught and thrown into a resort prison.
With tennis courts and spas.
Rodney Dangerfield:
What a childhood I had,
why, when I took my first step,
my old man tripped me!
Mitch Hedberg:
It’s hard to fight
when you’re in a gazebo.
Dean Burkey:
If you smoke candy cigarettes,
you will contract lung diabetes.
Jerry Seinfeld:
So I had my Superman Halloween costume;
I was physically ready; I was mentally prepared.
And I assumed, when I put this costume on,
I would probably look exactly like the Superman
I had come to know on television and in the movies.
Now you remember these costumes;
it’s not exactly the super-fit that you are hoping for!
You look more like you’re wearing Superman’s pajamas,
it’s what you look like. It’s all loose, and flowing.
Neck line kinda comes down to about there.
And you got that flimsy little ribbon string
holding it together in the back.
Of course my mother makes me wear
my winter coat over the costume anyway!
“I don’t recall Superman wearing a jacket.”
Steven Wright:
Whenever I think about the past,
it just brings back so many memories.
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