I kept thinking empty oatmeal containers
could come in handy sometime for storage,
so I saved a bunch,
but not finding a use for them,
I decided to put them all in the recycle bin.
Walking his dog Bowser,
my neighbor Frank saw the massive amount of empties
and said, “Wow, Dean. You ate a lot of oatmeal this week!”
Knowing he was out of town last weekend, I said,
“I had an oatmeal party Saturday night;
and as you can see, it was a big success.”
“An oatmeal party?”
“Oh yeah, they’re all the rage in Constantinople.
I would’ve invited you,
but I knew you’d be out of town.
How was your business trip?”
“Fine. All the rage; huh?”
“Oh yeah.”
I was surprised I kept a straight face the whole time.
I was more surprised two days later,
when I received an invitation to Frank’s oatmeal party.
I knew that would be too much fun to miss.
As it turned out,
when Frank found out that I fooled him,
he exploded in anger;
and his oatmeal party truly became all the rage.
Jerry Seinfeld:
Why do people give each other flowers?
To celebrate various important occasions,
they’re killing living creatures?
Why restrict it to plants?
“Sweetheart, let’s make up. Have this deceased squirrel.”
Phyllis Diller:
I’m glad that beauty is only skin deep.
Otherwise, I’d be rotten to the core.
Dean Burkey:
Reality shows were created during a writer’s strike.
As were Blank Inside cards
and Create Your Own Adventure books.
Mitch Hedberg:
I’m a hard act to follow,
because when I’m done,
I take the microphone with me.
Steven Wright:
If you saw a heat wave,
would you wave back?
Uploaded on May 26, 2009 by
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