Showing posts with label Alex Kirlik. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alex Kirlik. Show all posts

Friday, June 6, 2014

The Edge of Tomorrow Movie Review (No Spoilers)

Posting this earlier than usual to give you a better chance
to catch this awesome movie this weekend!


Photo Source: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1631867/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

The Edge of Tomorrow 
Movie Review
(No Spoilers)

“The Edge of Tomorrow” is the sci-fi battle version of “Groundhog Day”, an action-packed thrill ride teeming with intrigue, suspense, and laughs. 

Yes, the tagline says: Live. Die. Repeat. Which doesnt sound funny. But as I explain in my series “How to Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes”, one of the secrets to comedy is repetition. 

Directed by Doug Liman. Starring Tom Cruise and Emily BluntScreenplay by Christopher McQuarrie and Jez Butterworth & John-Henry Butterworth, based on the novel All You Need Is Kill written by Hiroshi Sakurazaka. Kudos to everyone involved. 

I’ve been enjoying movie since I found out the Matinee price is only $5.75. If you go to the first showing of the day for a movie, as long as it’s before 3 pm or so, that’s all you pay. Found that out when I went to see the first showing of “The Amazing Spider-Man 2” on May 2. 

With this movie, however, Cobb learned how to tweak that rule in their favor. The first showing of the movie was the 3-D version, which isn’t $5.75. But since it was the first showing of that movie, they charged $7.50 for the first showing of the regular movie. Even so, “The Edge of Tomorrow” is well worth the price! 

Of course, just being able to see Emily Blunt on the big screen is more than worth the price.  

Theres so much I want tell you, but I don’t want to ruin the movie by giving away any plot twists; and this movie has lots of those! So I’ll just say I loved it. 

I watched it on June 6, which seemed like the perfect day, being the 70th anniversary of the Normandy Beach invasion. Which is cool, because the beach invasion scenes reminded me of that. Making this movie an homage to D-Day presented as “Alien” meets “Groundhog Day”

Fun, fun, fun, with lots of cool twists and turns. Thank you Warner Brothers!

Edge of Tomorrow - Official Main Trailer

Published on Mar 25, 2014 by

I dont know if this is the official theme song, 
but it plays during the closing credits. 
(This video has nothing to do with the movie): 

 

John Newman - Love Me Again

Published on May 8, 2013 by






---------------------------------------------------------------

And now for some comedy, humor, 
jokes, funny videos, etc.: 

Some may find some of the language in this video offensive:


Joe Rogan Talks About UFOs

Uploaded on Aug 3, 2006 by

Woody Allen
(from “The UFO Menace” 
in The New Yorker, June 13, 1977):
Interestingly, 
according to modern astronomers, 
space is finite. 
This is a very comforting thought — 
particularly for people who can 
never remember where they have left things.

Alex Kirlik: 
I heard that in relativity 
theory space and time are the same thing. 
Einstein discovered this 
when he kept showing up 
three miles late for his meetings. 

Dean Burkey
(from the UFO Chapter 
of Monster Laughs): 
Generally speaking, 
people who claim to see UFOs 
are the same as you and me in every respect, 
except for an excessive hankering 
for chewing tobacco, Nascar, and banjo music.  
(Actually, General Lee speaking would be: 
“Howdy folks, I’m General Lee; 
but you can call me Robert E.”)  
Moonshine entrepreneur 
Skeeter J. McCracker declared, 
“UFOs is as real as wrestlin’!”  
Odder still, the folks who say flying saucers are real, 
claim NASA faked the moon landings.  
But why would NASA do such a thing?  
Well, of course, to sell tons of Tang!

Mitch Hedberg
When I was on acid, 
I would see things like beams of light. 
And I would hear things 

that sounded an awful lot like car horns. 

Steven Wright
A friend of mine once sent me a post card 
with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. 
On the back it said, “Wish you were here.”



He Shoots He Spores | Alien | Scare Tactics

Uploaded on Nov 17, 2011 by

EvilTwinStore

Monday, September 30, 2013

Online Dating


Online Dating

Why don’t the people 
who post pictures on dating sites 
realize when their photograph 
makes them look possessed? 
I get it. Maybe the lighting was bad. 
Or you surrendered your soul to Beelzebub. 
But either way, use a different picture! 

Some women ask on dating sites: 
Isn’t there one decent guy in the whole world? 
Then they describe what they’re looking for. 
And none of that has anything to do with decency. 

Height, wealth, looks. 
You can have all that and still be a stinker. 
In fact, having all that might make you a stinker

Lots of women say in their dates ads 
that they don’t like drama. 
I say forget them! 
Law and Order’s an awesome show! 


And they say they’re not into guys who play games. 
But what’s wrong with Uno? 
Monopoly? 
And Spin the Bottle? 
;oP
Obviously, 
those babes aren’t any fun anyway. 

To all the ladies who say 
they’re looking for their Romeo: 
You don’t want to find your Romeo. 

If you don’t believe me, 
read the play! 
Romeo dies! 
Juliet dies! 
Lots of people die! 

If that’s what you want, 
get off dating sites 
and just hook up with Dr. Kevorkian. 

For more dating fun, 
check out my previous post:
Daunting Date Ads



Bad Dates are Good Jokes

Published on Apr 26, 2013 by Melissa Villaseñor

Jerry Seinfeld:
Dating is pressure and tension. 
What is a date really, 
but a job interview that lasts all night? 
The only difference between a date and a job 
is that in not many job interviews 
is there a chance you’ll wind up naked at the end of it.
“Well Bill, the boss thinks you’re the man for the position. 
Why don’t you strip down 
and meet some of the people you’ll be working with?”

Susie Loucks:
I was on a date recently, 
and the guy took me horseback riding. 
That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.

Dean Burkey: 
Here’s a great way to break up with someone: 
Tell her she’s too sexy for you. 
She’ll be hurt that she got dumped, 
but flattered that you think she’s so hot. 
Of course, if she’s a psycho nut job, 
she may disfigure herself to become less sexy 
and try to win you back. 
Let me tell you ladies, 
that ploy never works.  

Alex Kirlik:
Called a blind date to set up a meeting at a restaurant. 
I said, "I'll be the one 
driving the Mercedes and wearing a Rolex." 
Never found her, 
but when I got home my place was robbed. 

Author Unkown:
Found at:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1322475/Researchers-official-50-funniest-jokes-time.html
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, 
phoned her up to arrange a date, 
but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.



Stand Up Comedy | Toronto Comedian Jokes About Online Dating

Published on Mar 14, 2013 by Toronto Magician The Magic Guy

EvilTwinStore

Monday, September 9, 2013

Freaky Spell Checker


Freaky Spell Checker

The Spell Checker can be kind of freaky. 

I was writing a joke that uses the phrase: 
a bunch of brewskis”. 

But I forgot to put a space between of and brewskis, 
(i.e., ofbrewskis)
so when I click space after the word brewskis, 
the Spell Checker turned it into the word foreskins
That’s freaky

Even typing just the word brewskis, 
the Spell Checker will turn that into two words. 
So I guess the Spell Checker doesn’t like to party. 

My Body’s kind of funny. 
(Goofy voice): “Funny looking.” 
(Mock goofy laugh.) 

What I mean is: 
I can run around the lake. 
But then when I finish, I walk with a limp. 

Eventually, the limp goes away; 
and then I run again. 

If I run really far, 
when I finish, I stagger like a drunk. 

So to achieve the same results as running over six miles, 
I can just stay home and kick back a bunch of brewskis.

(I never said it was a funny joke.
Besides, that
s the kind of joke 
you need to see and hear performed, 
not the kind you read.) 

P. S. For more Spell-Checker fun, 
check out my previous post: 
Shouldve Used The Spill-Chucker

Also, please check out my previous post: 
Bonus Post: Channel Surfing Is FREE Sept. 5-9, 2013.

This video I found on YouTube makes me laugh every time I watch it!
From what I gather, a sorceress turned Wonder Woman into a pig,
so Batman agrees to do whatever the sorceress requests
to have her change Wonder Woman back before she gets slaughtered.

Batman Sings For Diana - Justice League

Published on May 19, 2012 by metalgodmaiden

Jerry Seinfeld: 
Introducing 'Lite' 
- The new way to spell 'Light', 
but with twenty per cent fewer letters. 

Alex Kirlik: 
I got a calculator; 
and now I can't add without it. 
I got a spellchecker; 
and I can't write without it anymore. 
I got a blow-dryer;
 and now my hair won't dry on its own. 

Dean Burkey: 
People who can’t spell are stoopid.

Author Unknown: 
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, 
how would we know? 

Mitch Hedberg: 
My girlfriend is named Lynn. 
She spells her name "Lynn". 
My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, 
but she spells it "Lyn". 
Every now and then I screw up, 
I call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name; 
and she can tell because I don't say "n" as long. 


Some language.

Dave Chappelle on Letterman 1997 Stand up

Uploaded on Jan 14, 2012 by Olivier Dery

EvilTwinStore