Showing posts with label ads. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ads. Show all posts

Monday, September 23, 2013

YouTube Ads Are Driving Me Mads


Ads on YouTube can be so annoying! 

Even if you click to watch a commercial, 
they will still make you watch another one, 
before you can watch the one you want. 

Sometimes the ads are longer 
than the videos you want to watch. 

A 10-minute ad to watch a 3-minute video?
Get real YouTube!

And sure, 
they’ll give you the option to Skip the Ad. 
Sometimes. 

But if you keep skipping, 
don’t they just send you more ads? 

They’ll even interrupt a relaxation video 
to give you an ad. 

Maybe they figure you’re too mellowed out 
to hit the Skip the Ad button. 

Their favorite time to make you watch commercials 
is during self-hypnosis videos. 
You’re trying to stop smoking. 
Or lose weight. 
Or stop committing random acts of kind pyromania. 

And, as soon as you’re entranced, 
they run ads. 

Which is the real reason 
why I ordered those twelve cartons of toilet paper. 

I dont have a condition. 
Glandular or otherwise.

But I do worry about what they mean 
when they say that the toilet papers recycled
Gulp!


Fainting Goats - Very Funny

Uploaded on Dec 18, 2006 by Brett Eldridge

Bill Cosby: 
Every father says the same thing: 
“Where’s your mother?” 

Rodney Dangerfield: 
I tell ya’ when I was a kid, 
all I knew was rejection. 
My yo-yo, it never came back!

Dean Burkey: 
If you are addicted to placebos. 
Do you have a drug problem? 
Or a sweet tooth? 

Mitch Hedberg: 
Hey, someone said, 
“Hey Mitch, do you lift weights?” 
And I said, “No, but I do set weights back down. 
So if you get up there; and you need help, call me. 
I’ll take you to the next level!” 

Steven Wright: 
If at first you don’t succeed, 
destroy all evidence that you tried. 


We might not all agree with everything he says and does, 
but this is one rock-solid comedy set: 

Funniest Stand up Comedy Ever by Jim Carrey

Uploaded on Apr 30, 2009 by HomersOmar

EvilTwinStore


Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The Ad Said ...


The Ad Said ...


The ad said ... 

For fifty bucks, I could learn the secret to comedy.  

I know that sounds like a lot.  But learning the secret to comedy would make me far more than fifty bucks.  So I gave in.  

The package finally arrived.  I opened it up.  

And it said. ... 

The secret to comedy.  

Is to make people laugh.  

Way to go Leonard and Bernstein.  You really cracked that case wide open.  

I was just about to call the Better Business Bureau to complain when I noticed a flyer inside the envelope.  

The ad said ... 

For fifty bucks, I could learn the secret to making people laugh.  

Bingo!  That’s what I was looking for.  

I know that sounds like a lot.  But learning the secret to making people laugh would make me far more than fifty bucks.  So I gave in.  

The package finally arrived.  I opened it up.  

And it said. ... 

The secret to making people laugh.

Is to be funny.  

Way to go Scotland Yard.  You solved that mystery for me.  

I was just about to call the Attorney General to complain when I noticed a flyer inside the envelope.  

The ad said ... 

For fifty bucks, I could learn how to make fifty bucks a pop off gullible goobers like me.  


Some say theres one born every minute, so at fifty bucks a pop, thats $3,000 an hour! 

$120,000 a week!

Much more with overtime.

That package hasn’t arrived yet, but I can’t wait to learn that trick. 

Blessings & Joy,


Abbott & Costello-The Lemon Game

Uploaded to YouTube on Mar 21, 2009 by 
leodragonfire




   

Coming Friday:

How We Spend 
Our Last Day on Earth
Says A Lot About Who We Are ...