Showing posts with label Sarah Silverman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sarah Silverman. Show all posts

Monday, August 26, 2013

Guilty Pleasures

Photo Source: Chocolate Chips Cake by MALIZ ONG

Guilty Pleasures

Some videos are funny and offensive at the same time!
Which makes them guilty pleasures

I used to enjoy Andrew Dice Clay's humor long ago, 
before he became just offensive 
and stopped being funny. 

I don't know if I'd like Sarah Silverman as much, 
if she wasn't so incredibly cute!
But she says horrendous, 

yet somehow hilarious, 
comments too. 
While having coffee with Jerry Seinfeld, 
she mentioned the following video, 
so I watched it: 

Lots of rough language, but I think most, if not all, of it got bleeped out. 
(But you still know what they're saying!)

Jamie Foxx Ruins A Not Funny Comedian

Uploaded on Oct 13, 2006 by smiffyd433

I felt guilty enjoying that so much, 

because I wouldn't want to get heckled like that, 
especially not by the emcee! 
But I read where Jamie warned that guy ahead of time 
that it would be a tough crowd; 
and Doug's reply was: 
"Yeah, whatever." 
So Jamie did what he had to do, 
to keep the show funny; 
and he made it hilarious! 

Another guilty pleasure 
is comedian Anthony Jeselnik!
He has such jokes as: 

Anthony Jeselnik: 
Whenever I meet a pretty girl, 
the first thing that I look for is intelligence. 
Because if she doesn't have that, 
then she's mine. 

That's one of the few I can quote.
Some I can't even tell close friends, 

because they'd never understand.
They might even feel hurt. 


His style is arrogant, vulgar, and offensive, 
but he looks charming and has a nice smile. 

Just like Sarah Silverman, 
maybe the comedy stems from the juxtaposition 
of someone who looks nice 
saying such horrid things; 
and then smiling. 

In his breakthrough comedy writing system 
Breaking Comedy's DNA
Jerry Corley calls this comedy trigger: 
Ambivalence



Some rough language; offensive, but funny!
Some of this is so horrifying, you might not like it.
Somehow this guy makes the horrifying hilarious!

Anthony Jeselnik

Published on Jan 20, 2013 by bluboy21


Anthony Jeselnik: 
My girlfriend makes want to become a better person. 
So I can get a better girlfriend. 

Andrew Dice Clay: 
Little Boy Blue. 
He needed the money! 

Dean Burkey: 
I’m not bipolar. 
I’m equatorial. 

Sarah Silverman:
I don't care if you think I'm racist. 
I just want you to think I'm thin.

Jerry Seinfeld:
Men and women will never understand each other; 
my advice is to just stop trying. 
Just forget it. 
I know I will never understand women. 
I will never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, 
pour it onto your upper thigh, 
rip the hair out by the root
...and still be afraid of a spider.

Jerry Corley:
I was trying to teach my five-year-old 
how to tie her shoes. 
She was like, "Dad! I can't Dad, I can't!" 
I said, "How many times have I told you 
not to use that word? ... I am not your Dad."

More rough language and funny offensiveness:

Anthony Jeselnik tells funny Stand-up joke

Published on Aug 24, 2012 by xerikox

EvilTwinStore

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Getting Messy with Nessie Part 3


Getting Messy with Nessie 
Part 3:
Ripples of Regret

All I saw was a ripple. 
But apparently a ripple is all the DNA 
that Loch Ness CSI needs to authorize 
the hunting down of the Loch Ness Monster. 
Poor Nessie. 
How will she ever forgive me? 

How could things turn out like this? 
All I said was that Coleen went under 
and never came back up. 
And that I saw a ripple. 
Honest. 

I even tried to be as vague as possible 
with my ripple description
so I wouldn’t get Nessie in trouble. 
I could never do that to such a good friend. 
But then, when the authorities made me 
their number one suspect, 
I blurted out, 
“It was the Loch Ness Monster; I tell you! 
The vicious creature ripped her to shreds!” 

I then said I was the utmost authority 
on the Loch Ness Monster. 
Not to ruffle the feathers of Edwards or Harmsworth. 

When the Constable and his cronies started making plans 
to destroy Nessie once and for all, 
I came back to my senses. 
“Wait. Arent we being a wee bit hasty? 
The most important thing I’ve learned in my studies 
of the Loch’s famous creature is this: 
She doesn’t exist. 
So hunting her down will only be a waste of time.” 

Constable McBrody sighed and rolled his eyes. 
“But you said the Monster killed Coleen.” 

“I hadn’t eaten since last night. 
Even then, that didn’t go so well. 
And then you had the burning bright light 
shining in my face, so I freaked out. 
What I meant to say was.” 
I panted. 
Hoping each new breath 
would bring me the idea I needed. 

The Constable turned the light on me again; 
and I blurted out as before, “It was Bigfoot! 
He suffers from heinous abandonment issues. 
So when I left him in the States to come here, 
he must’ve followed. 
And not knowing that Nessie. 
Um, I mean, the Loch Ness Monster isn’t real. 
He framed her. I mean, it. For murder.” 

Then as they started to make plans to hunt down Bigfoot, 
I changed my tune again. 

“Actually, the light freaked me out again. 
Let’s be reasonable here. 
We all know Bigfoot’s a myth. 
Like generous bankers. 
Intelligent floozies with hearts of gold. 
And mermaids who yodel. 
If we put our heads together, 
I’m sure we can reach a logical conclusion.” 

SLAM! 
The cell door echoed behind me. 
They reached a logical conclusion all right. 
But it wasn’t the right conclusion. 

My cellmate Archibald the B-Flat Bagpiper 
wore a plaid skirt, so I knew that couldn’t be good. 
And the food they fed me contained alfalfa sprouts, 
so you know, that wasn’t good either. 
But at least that kept Archibald at bay. 

I knew I was innocent. 
But I still wasn’t sure about Nessie. 
Maybe she finally snapped. 
I couldn’t wallow in jail. 
Especially since I was the prime suspect. 
I had to escape to find Nessie. 
To find the truth. 
To find antacid.

TO BE CONTINUED ...
The Hunt Begins

All the Best,

Please Note: The following video contains some material some may find offensive.


Dave Chappelle on Letterman 1997 Stand up

Uploaded on Jan 14, 2012 by


Mitch Hedberg
I can whistle with my fingers, 
especially if I have a whistle. 

Dean Burkey
I’m not saying she’s a bad cook; 
I’m just saying she can’t make toast without the recipe.

Steven Wright
Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. 
I asked it why. 
It told me it was none of my business. 

Jerry Seinfeld
It’s amazing that the amount of news 
that happens in the world every day 
always just exactly fits the newspaper. 

Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got. 
His favorite bone is in my arm!



Sarah Silverman Letterman standup TV debut Jul 1997.mpg

Uploaded on Jan 28, 2012 by