TV or not TV?
That is the question.
The service sucked,
but I liked the reception.
The problem with TV is
we stay tuned to our favorite shows,
but we don’t stay tuned to our own lives.
Parents made TV our babysitter,
but the Boob Tube’s
turned into a mischievous hypnotist
who makes us do far worse than cluck like a chicken.
It makes us sleepwalk through our whole lives.
Worrying about characters on TV shows
is almost as bad as
fretting over fake crops in Farmville.
Another problem with TV is:
I don’t think a major crisis
in the lives of our favorite characters
should be interrupted by commercials
for fast food, pharmaceuticals, or laundry detergent.
No one does that in real life.
We’re worried about
how we’re gonna pay our mortgage,
but then suddenly we decide to buy
a household cleaner that not only shines
but smells like pines.
Worst of all,
TV can make you stupid.
But then again,
I used to watch lots of TV;
and I came out K. O.
Jerry Seinfeld:
Men don’t care what’s on TV.
They only care what else is on TV.
Mitch Hedberg:
A guy came up to me in the airport, saying,
“Dude, I saw you on TV last night!”
But he did not say whether or not he thought I was good.
He just confirmed I was on television.
So I turned away for a minute,
and then I turned back toward him and said,
“I saw you at the airport about a minute ago.
And you were good!”
Dean Burkey:
The problem with Daytime TV is
that the sun still shines through the shades.
And all the people outside living real lives are too noisy.
Steven Wright:
When I was a kid,
I remember seeing Smokey the Bear on TV saying,
“Only you can prevent forest fires.”
I thought “Who? Me?”
So I’d sneak out of the house in the middle of the night
with a bucket of water
-- “Gotta go to work.”
Woody Allen:
In California, they don’t throw their garbage away;
they make it into TV shows.
This is a bit racy, but not too vulgar:
EvilTwinStore
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