Getting a Golden Retriever for a Pet,
You Should Know This ...
Golden retrievers make great pets.
The only problem is,
when they come to tell you
that Timmy fell down a well,
they mumble.
“What’s that girl?
Timmy doesn’t know how to spell?
Jimmy wants to ring a bell?
Who’s Jimmy?
And where’s he getting a bell?”
By the time you figure out
what your golden retriever’s trying to tell you,
you’re going to need a new Timmy.
And you might want to purify the well.
Steven Wright:
I used to work at a factory where they made hydrants;
but you couldn’t park anywhere near the place.
Mitch Hedberg:
Imagine if you were a drummer;
and you accidentally picked up
two magic wands instead of sticks.
There you are, keeping the beat;
the next thing you know,
your bass player turns into a can of soup.
Dean Burkey:
If God had wanted men to cry,
He would have given us tear ducts.
Rodney Dangerfield:
My mother had morning sickness.
After I was born.
Phyllis Diller:
Aim high;
and you won’t shoot your foot off.
