Life’s a beach;
and then you fry.
... Clams that is.
The beach is the reason men work out;
and women tuck in.
The beach is where you go lie in the sun,
but only after you lather on so much sunscreen
that you might as well as stayed indoors.
Standing on the beach
next to the ocean can make one feel insignificant.
But then again, so can standing in line
at the Social Security office.
The beach can have a calming effect on our senses.
Make us feel serene.
Unless some idiot next to us feeds the seagulls.
Bill Cosby:
Gray hair is God’s graffiti.
Rodney Dangerfield:
My father had his own way of showing love.
He always carried around the picture of the kid
who came with his wallet.
Dean Burkey:
I’m someone who wants more out of life;
and less out of death.
Mitch Hedberg:
I know people who believe in ghosts,
but don’t believe in themselves.
It’s sad. Okay,
you don’t think you’ll ever make it as a musician,
but last night you saw a translucent caveman.
Steven Wright:
24 hours in a day; 24 beers in a case.
Coincidence?
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