I feel like things are about to turn around for me.
Once I sell a few more items on eBay and Craig’s List,
I’ll have the money needed
to help a deposed Liberian ruler retain his frozen assets.
Only because it’s the right thing to do.
And because he promised to express his gratitude
by sharing twenty percent of his wealth with me!
It has to be true, because
A)
the information arrived in a very official-looking email;
and that’s something you just can’t fake.
And B)
the deposed Liberian leader is a political figure;
or, at least, was a political figure;
and since political figures are entrusted
with the care and concerns of their constituency,
they can’t lie.
So that’s a double whammy in my favor!
What’s the first thing I’ll do
with my share of the millions?
I know I should say I’d help emergency victims,
feed the hungry,
or make curtains for the homeless.
But I’m thinking 3-D IMAX superhero movie marathon.
A world cruise or two.
And a tub full of chocolate.
And then,
after enjoying all that,
then;
and only then,
I’ll buy a submarine.
Doesn’t have to be yellow.
Probably would prefer a different color,
so I won’t get that song stuck in my head.
Too late!
Stevie Riks portrays two musical greats.
Produced by Marcel Vossen:
George Carlin:
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Jerry Seinfeld:
If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices,
why don’t you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
Dean Burkey:
A gold-plated paperclip
is still a paperclip.
Rodney Dangerfield:
Last week I saw my psychiatrist.
I told him, “Doc, I keep thinking I’m a dog.”
He told me to get off his couch.
Steven Wright:
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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