My Favorite Writing Moments
Writing stories is hard.
Creating worlds from nothing.
Like trying to put a thousand-piece puzzle together
without the picture.
And with many of the pieces missing.
And several more pieces added that don’t belong.
So you sort through the ideas popping into your brain,
deciding which ones live and which die,
playing God with the fate and destiny of each idea.
You assemble what you have and see gaps
where pieces are still needed,
so you fashion makeshift pieces,
fitting them in as best you can.
Jimmying and pounding as needed.
After you complete the puzzle?
You set it aside to work on another;
and then you come back to the previous one
to see if everything still fits fine.
Or if extra pieces are needed;
or if extra pieces need to be removed.
At some point, you decide to send it out into the world,
but in your heart you can always think
of other things to change.
But you’ve got to stop rewriting;
or you’ll never submit your story.
And worse,
you’ll never move on to writing other stories.
But having said all that,
it’s fun when everything comes together
as much as possible.
When writing “Exit Strategies”,
I decided that since there’s a gun;
and that it goes off,
someone should get shot;
and that changed the rest of the story.
I felt like the story took over;
and I was just writing what happened!
That was a hard enough story to write,
because I kept getting snippets of ideas
that I weaved together to make into a coherent story.
But the gunshot enthralled me.
Created a keen paralleling of previous scenes.
And although there’s a gunshot,
I’d say that’s probably one of the most romantic stories
I’ve ever written.
(I was trying to reach a wider audience.)
The end result?
It’s like a guy’s movie
that could be marketed as a chick flick too.
So it’s either brilliant;
or shows how little I know about romance.
Or both.
I enjoyed writing certain blogs more so than others,
like the one about the E.T. toy and its sequel,
the 6-part Inner Earth adventure,
and the one about how I’d spend the last day on Earth.
The 8-part Nessie Adventure!
Those were fun to write.
I think the E.T. story and its sequel are the two blogs
that started me writing crazy adventures.
Like the episode “The Junior Mint” did for “Seinfeld”.
Working on “Monster Laughs” was a blast!
Each chapter became its own adventure.
I felt like I was writing epic mini-movies, not chapters,
especially the Jekyll/Hyde and Mummy chapters.
And yet, the story moved forward throughout.
Characters might reappear here and there.
Running gags galore!
I also enjoyed writing the short stores
“An Ice Memoir”
(from “Faith like a Ketchup Seed”,
“Holy Ketchup Seed Comedy Combo”,
and “A Fire of Coals and an Ice Memoir”)
and “Fast Food Follies”
(from “Seasons without Reason”);
where inanimate objects lead such melodramatic lives.
I also enjoyed writing my screenplays
“Sharks on a Plane” and “Foot Loose”,
where I took crazy, seemingly impossible ideas
and made them work as emotional stories
with a sense of humor.
Those were challenging and fun.
I also liked how I made the life of Socrates
into a comedy of sorts, while still being respectful.
I tried to present him as creatively as he lived his life.
I had a blast rewriting
“Heaven-Bent HUMOR: The Dean Adventures”,
because I made the goal of adding
at least one new joke to each entry.
And I think there were 57 entries!
Plus I added a fun, new entry for the ending too.
Fun times.
And I enjoy the story I’m working on now.
Creating worlds from nothing.
Like trying to put a thousand-piece puzzle together
without the picture.
And with many of the pieces missing.
And several more pieces added that don’t belong.
So you sort through the ideas popping into your brain,
deciding which ones live and which die,
playing God with the fate and destiny of each idea.
You assemble what you have and see gaps
where pieces are still needed,
so you fashion makeshift pieces,
fitting them in as best you can.
Jimmying and pounding as needed.
After you complete the puzzle?
You set it aside to work on another;
and then you come back to the previous one
to see if everything still fits fine.
Or if extra pieces are needed;
or if extra pieces need to be removed.
At some point, you decide to send it out into the world,
but in your heart you can always think
of other things to change.
But you’ve got to stop rewriting;
or you’ll never submit your story.
And worse,
you’ll never move on to writing other stories.
But having said all that,
it’s fun when everything comes together
as much as possible.
When writing “Exit Strategies”,
I decided that since there’s a gun;
and that it goes off,
someone should get shot;
and that changed the rest of the story.
I felt like the story took over;
and I was just writing what happened!
That was a hard enough story to write,
because I kept getting snippets of ideas
that I weaved together to make into a coherent story.
But the gunshot enthralled me.
Created a keen paralleling of previous scenes.
And although there’s a gunshot,
I’d say that’s probably one of the most romantic stories
I’ve ever written.
(I was trying to reach a wider audience.)
The end result?
It’s like a guy’s movie
that could be marketed as a chick flick too.
So it’s either brilliant;
or shows how little I know about romance.
Or both.
I enjoyed writing certain blogs more so than others,
like the one about the E.T. toy and its sequel,
the 6-part Inner Earth adventure,
and the one about how I’d spend the last day on Earth.
The 8-part Nessie Adventure!
Those were fun to write.
I think the E.T. story and its sequel are the two blogs
that started me writing crazy adventures.
Like the episode “The Junior Mint” did for “Seinfeld”.
Working on “Monster Laughs” was a blast!
Each chapter became its own adventure.
I felt like I was writing epic mini-movies, not chapters,
especially the Jekyll/Hyde and Mummy chapters.
And yet, the story moved forward throughout.
Characters might reappear here and there.
Running gags galore!
I also enjoyed writing the short stores
“An Ice Memoir”
(from “Faith like a Ketchup Seed”,
“Holy Ketchup Seed Comedy Combo”,
and “A Fire of Coals and an Ice Memoir”)
and “Fast Food Follies”
(from “Seasons without Reason”);
where inanimate objects lead such melodramatic lives.
I also enjoyed writing my screenplays
“Sharks on a Plane” and “Foot Loose”,
where I took crazy, seemingly impossible ideas
and made them work as emotional stories
with a sense of humor.
Those were challenging and fun.
I also liked how I made the life of Socrates
into a comedy of sorts, while still being respectful.
I tried to present him as creatively as he lived his life.
I had a blast rewriting
“Heaven-Bent HUMOR: The Dean Adventures”,
because I made the goal of adding
at least one new joke to each entry.
And I think there were 57 entries!
Plus I added a fun, new entry for the ending too.
Fun times.
And I enjoy the story I’m working on now.
Please let me know what you want from my comedy blog.
Jokes? Stories?
Which blog posts did you enjoy the best?
I’d love to hear some kind of tactful feedback.
Thank you.
Bill Cosby:
As I have discovered by examining my past,
I started out as a child.
Coincidentally, so did my brother.
My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket,
so to speak.
She gave me a younger brother named Russell,
who taught me what was meant by
“survival of the fittest.”
George Carlin:
One nice thing about egotists:
They don’t talk about other people.
Dean Burkey:
He’s so focused and direct.
If there’s a straight shot to something,
he’ll weave his way around it.
Mitch Hedberg:
You know when a company
wants to use letters in their phone number,
but often they’ll use too many letters?
“Call 1-800-I-Really-Enjoy-Brand-New-Carpeting.”
Too many letters, man, must I dial them all?
“Hello? Hold on, man, I’m only on ‘Enjoy.’
How did you know I was calling?
You’re good, I can see why they hired you!”
Steven Wright:
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
As I have discovered by examining my past,
I started out as a child.
Coincidentally, so did my brother.
My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket,
so to speak.
She gave me a younger brother named Russell,
who taught me what was meant by
“survival of the fittest.”
George Carlin:
One nice thing about egotists:
They don’t talk about other people.
Dean Burkey:
He’s so focused and direct.
If there’s a straight shot to something,
he’ll weave his way around it.
Mitch Hedberg:
You know when a company
wants to use letters in their phone number,
but often they’ll use too many letters?
“Call 1-800-I-Really-Enjoy-Brand-New-Carpeting.”
Too many letters, man, must I dial them all?
“Hello? Hold on, man, I’m only on ‘Enjoy.’
How did you know I was calling?
You’re good, I can see why they hired you!”
Steven Wright:
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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