Aged to Perfection
I met a wonderful woman after one of my shows; and I found her truly fascinating.
But, unfortunately, she falls in love way too fast.
I like to take my time.
You know?
Like those wine guys who won’t serve any before its time.
Or the makers of cheese.
The dairy product, not silly schlock humor.
For instance, I’ve adored a certain special someone since we first met way back when were both in kindergarten.
Something about her pigtails.
Or the way she played in the sandbox.
More like the way she shared her Chips Ahoy! chocolate chip cookies with me.
And only me.
Isn’t that what true love is all about?
Chocolate faithfulness.
Or maybe I just read that on a Dove Chocolate wrapper.
So anyway, to be true to my heart and soul, as soon as she and her fourth husband part ways, I’m asking her out.
Number five’s gonna come alive!
I’ll have to make a lot of money first though.
‘Cause she always falls for rich guys.
But on the bright side, I won’t have to waste my time at the gym.
‘Cause she doesn’t like athletic guys.
In fact, her last three husbands all died suddenly of mysterious, unidentifiable health issues.
But, unfortunately, she falls in love way too fast.
I like to take my time.
You know?
Like those wine guys who won’t serve any before its time.
Or the makers of cheese.
The dairy product, not silly schlock humor.
For instance, I’ve adored a certain special someone since we first met way back when were both in kindergarten.
Something about her pigtails.
Or the way she played in the sandbox.
More like the way she shared her Chips Ahoy! chocolate chip cookies with me.
And only me.
Isn’t that what true love is all about?
Chocolate faithfulness.
Or maybe I just read that on a Dove Chocolate wrapper.
So anyway, to be true to my heart and soul, as soon as she and her fourth husband part ways, I’m asking her out.
Number five’s gonna come alive!
I’ll have to make a lot of money first though.
‘Cause she always falls for rich guys.
But on the bright side, I won’t have to waste my time at the gym.
‘Cause she doesn’t like athletic guys.
In fact, her last three husbands all died suddenly of mysterious, unidentifiable health issues.
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