Dear Supermodels
You’re attractive, to be sure.
Duh! That’s how you got to be supermodels.
But being around mega-gorgeous women all the time, I find myself (my soul, even my heart and mind, and yes, even my body) needing something beyond beauty.
Something unseen.
The gorgeousness of the inside person.
I know what it’s like to be gawked at all the time.
Sure, it was fun at first. But after a while, you get tired of saying, “Excuse me? My eyes are up here.”
Sometimes, just to break the boredom, I’ll mix things up a bit and say: “My chin’s up here.”
Or, “My ears are up here.”
Or even, “My kneecaps are down here.”
Sure, people laugh, but only because I use humor to mask the pain of being treated like a piece of meat.
A handsome*, sexy, piece of prime grade A meat to be sure.
But a piece of meat, just the same.
And if my stunning good looks didn’t make me awesome enough, God blessed me with a sense of humor too!
Which you use to flatter me and manipulate my feelings with ferocity.
But, dear supermodels, and whoever else might be eavesdropping on my private message to supermodels …
Like you just make the same sound whenever I pause.
And yes, I pause after the punchline. That’s how we comics do it.
That’s rule number three in the Comedian Handbook: Pause after the punchline.
But if your laughter resounds just as heartily for a simple joke as for a hilarious joke, that makes me think you don’t get any of my jokes.
And if you don’t get me, you won’t get me.
Got it?
Looks aren’t that big a deal. Your inner beauty’s more important than your outward appearance.
I used to meet people less attractive than me who were much better at relationships.
(Of course, that’s easy to say, because I can’t find anyone less attractive than me!)
But I learned to build my inner character too.
(With all my great looks*, if it weren’t my humility and modesty, I might be a real stinker.)
My point is: Your looks are your ante to get into the game. But if that’s the only hand you have, you won’t play the game for long.
If you look hot, but pout that you don’t, then you’re an idiot.
If you’re gorgeous; and you use your looks as a weapon, then you’re mean, but at least you’re not an idiot.
Unless you use your looks as a weapon and pout that you aren’t good-looking, then you’re just a mean idiot.
So not what I’m looking for.
I’m not saying: You should stop being mega-gorgeous.
Go with what you’re good at. Play to your strengths.
But I am saying: You should improve your fake laughter.
Or better yet, actually enjoy my jokes.
Believe it or not, sometimes I toss out fake “jokes” (a.k.a. Decoy Jokes) just to see if people are being “polite” (that’s the polite way of putting it) and laughing at everything I say, or really laughing at what’s really funny.
So please, dear supermodels, really listen to what I say.
After all, I really listen to you.
Well, at the very least, I watch.
* I’m so handsome and great-looking, because I’m real. Really I am. All those guys and gals that you think are better looking than me are really Reptilian Shape-Shifters from another planet and/or The Inner Earth. And besides being undeniably mega-gorgeous, hilarious, and super modest, I also have a heart of gold. May be pyrite, but at least I mean well. Mostly well. Oh, well. ...
Putting things into Proverbial perspective,
Kim Hill sings Charm Is Deceitful:
Uploaded by OnlyByGraceAndMercy on Sep 17, 2011
Kim Hill from Testimony,1980's
Be blessed to be a blessing.
Otherwise, why are you being blessed?
And love the unlovable, because God loved us
long before we were even close to being lovable.
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