As You Celebrate Independence Day, Ask Yourself This:

Enough with all those superhero/fantasy excursions, 
let's get back to reality! ...


As You Celebrate 

Independence Day, 

Ask Yourself This:

Whose Slave Are You?*

I know. We don't like to think of ourselves as slaves. Slaves never do! But Dylan said it best when he sang:

Uploaded by 79Peridot on Dec 15, 2010

Sure, we like to think we're free. That's the delusion that gets us through each day. After all, we're the freest country in the world! Right? Too bad we're owned by a Reptilian Race of Space Aliens who control everything that happens on Earth. 

Yeah, that's a bummer. But don't let that thought cause you to choke on your 4th of July hot dog. To be safe, make sure you only picnic with people who know the Heimlich.

Our birth certificates aren't for identification. They're deeds of ownership for the serpentine creatures who rule our world. (Read the fine print!) 

And sure, the phrase serpentine creatures can easily be bandied about in a derogatory manner. But I assure you that I'm not doing so. Not only because I don't want those in charge to strike at my heels. But because the hottest, sexiest people on this planet are serpentine creatures. 

Photo Source: http://www.thewatcherfiles.com/sold.htm

Okay, all of them aren't serpentine. 


Some are lizardy. 

Or crocodily. 


Or even alligatory, depending upon which hemisphere they prefer.

My secret sources on this matter are uncharacteristically convoluted and unclear about the exact details. But why would somebody post something to the Internet if it’s not true?

As far as I can tell, the Internet has just as much authority and reliability as a newspaper, an encyclopedia, and FOX news. 

Photo Source: http://www.quartertothree.com/game-talk/showthread.php?t=59331

Obviously, as can be seen above, they have excellent costuming and/or outstanding shape-shifting abilities. But is that any different than people who wear too much makeup? It's not!

Whether it's the Reptilian Race from Alpha Centauri who enslave us. Or those Bullish Barbarians from Aldebaran who barbecue us for snacks. Or even our own selfishness and insecurities that trap us. Let's not take the freedoms we think we have for granted. Instead, let's be thankful for what we have, while we still have it. And share the good things we have with those who don't. 

Photo Source: http://www.thefilmleague.com/2011/09/1999-the-phantom-menace-vs-the-matrix/

Perhaps that's too much reality for one day. Let's just plug into The Matrix and slide back into the delusions that get us through life. Even if we are deluded, we have the best delusions of anyone else on this planet!

So don't let those forked tongue liars steal your joy. Instead, celebrate! Enjoy the happiest of Independence Days. And by all means, DON'T choke on your hot dog. Otherwise, the Snakes win. 

Blessings & Joy,

Dean

 

* This is a work of humor/parody. (I have to say that in order to throw the "Snakes" off track. Otherwise, they might come after me. Which would only give themselves away. So that's a silly idea Snakes. Instead, you should shower me with money, so I'll be too distracted with scuba diving, paramotoring, and kayaking down a chocolate river with Kirsten Dunst to even think about ... what was I saying?)

COMING FRIDAY: Jacko, Elvis, and The Albino Bigfoot

COMING MONDAY: Eyewitness Proof That Life Existed on Other Planets!