With Disney buying the rights to Star Wars,
the world can finally enjoy the heart-wrenching,
coming-of-age, cautionary tale:
Tinkerbell Turns to the Dark Side
the world can finally enjoy the heart-wrenching,
coming-of-age, cautionary tale:
Tinkerbell Turns to the Dark Side
Tired of granting wishes for people who need an hour and a half or more, and several annoyingly catchy songs, to learn their lessons, Tinkerbell decides to use The Force mischievously, maliciously, and malevolently. The 3 M’s.
Pluto picked the wrong hydrant this morning, because Tinkerbell flies by and flings him into an ocean to feed the marine life.
Imagine Jiminy Cricket’s surprise when he greets Tinkerbell with a friendly and hearty “Heigh-dee-ho Tink!” and winds up being zapped by her wand into a spider’s nest.
Just before the spider injects Jiminy with its venom, a fisherman removes him from the web. “Whew!” says the cricket.
Until he realizes the fisherman wants to use him as bait.
“Yeoww!” Impaled upon a hook, poor Jiminy gets cast into the sea.
Just when he gets acclimated to the cool water, chomp! He feeds the marine life too.
The same marine life! Because there’s Pluto inside, wagging his tail.
Not because he’s courageous, but because he’s simply too simple to realize the danger he’s in.
Jiminy Cricket greets Pluto with a friendly and hearty “Heigh-dee-ho Pluto!”
Hearing the joyful greeting, Pluto smiles and eats the impaled cricket.
Whirrrrr! The fisherman reels in his hook, astonished to find he’s caught a yellow dog.
After Pluto’s measured and weighed, the fisherman removes the hook and out pops Jiminy Cricket.
In a whirl of swirling fairy dust, Tinkerbell swoops down from the clouds and waves her wand.
Poof! The fisherman gets turned into a tap dancer. Which, due to his excessive dancing on a rickety bridge not intended to undergo such a pounding, causes the bridges to collapse, where our friend the hungry shark decides to eat and re-eat the delicious treats drowning before him.
Meanwhile, Pinocchio who’s also turned to the dark side tells a slew of lies, but you can’t tell, because Darth Vader keeps slicing down his lengthening nose with his light saber.
Darth’s heavy breathing gets on Pinocchio’s nerves, so he hugs Darth; and lies, lies, lies, claiming he knows the secret to comedy, that he keeps his room clean, and that he didn’t eat the last cookie, which causes his nose to skewer into Darth’s solar plexus, killing him instantly and giving him splinters.
Tinkerbell catches Pinocchio on fire and makes S’Mores.
And then suddenly, C3PO swats what he thinks a firefly or glowing gnat and inadvertently ends Tinkerbell’s reign of terror.
Pluto picked the wrong hydrant this morning, because Tinkerbell flies by and flings him into an ocean to feed the marine life.
Imagine Jiminy Cricket’s surprise when he greets Tinkerbell with a friendly and hearty “Heigh-dee-ho Tink!” and winds up being zapped by her wand into a spider’s nest.
Just before the spider injects Jiminy with its venom, a fisherman removes him from the web. “Whew!” says the cricket.
Until he realizes the fisherman wants to use him as bait.
“Yeoww!” Impaled upon a hook, poor Jiminy gets cast into the sea.
Just when he gets acclimated to the cool water, chomp! He feeds the marine life too.
The same marine life! Because there’s Pluto inside, wagging his tail.
Not because he’s courageous, but because he’s simply too simple to realize the danger he’s in.
Jiminy Cricket greets Pluto with a friendly and hearty “Heigh-dee-ho Pluto!”
Hearing the joyful greeting, Pluto smiles and eats the impaled cricket.
Whirrrrr! The fisherman reels in his hook, astonished to find he’s caught a yellow dog.
After Pluto’s measured and weighed, the fisherman removes the hook and out pops Jiminy Cricket.
In a whirl of swirling fairy dust, Tinkerbell swoops down from the clouds and waves her wand.
Poof! The fisherman gets turned into a tap dancer. Which, due to his excessive dancing on a rickety bridge not intended to undergo such a pounding, causes the bridges to collapse, where our friend the hungry shark decides to eat and re-eat the delicious treats drowning before him.
Meanwhile, Pinocchio who’s also turned to the dark side tells a slew of lies, but you can’t tell, because Darth Vader keeps slicing down his lengthening nose with his light saber.
Darth’s heavy breathing gets on Pinocchio’s nerves, so he hugs Darth; and lies, lies, lies, claiming he knows the secret to comedy, that he keeps his room clean, and that he didn’t eat the last cookie, which causes his nose to skewer into Darth’s solar plexus, killing him instantly and giving him splinters.
Tinkerbell catches Pinocchio on fire and makes S’Mores.
And then suddenly, C3PO swats what he thinks a firefly or glowing gnat and inadvertently ends Tinkerbell’s reign of terror.
P.S. Please Note: The aforementioned characters, except for the fisherman and the fire hydrant, are owned by Disney and used here as a form of comedy/parody as allowed under The Fair Use Act.
