Gender-Shifting Hit Tunes to Maintain One’s Dignity

Gender-Shifting Hit Tunes 

to Maintain One’s Dignity

Published on Nov 11, 2011 by KatyPerryVEVO | #72 on the YouTube 100

Oftentimes, a hit tune’s sung by someone of the opposite gender, but the song’s so catchy we want to sing along regardless. Unfortunately, such ardent fervor can lead to embarrassment. Just ask any guy caught singing “I Am Woman”, “My Man Done Did Me Wrong”, or “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”.

A current example would be Katy Perry’s latest hit “The One That Got Away”. It’s such a fun song, that I wanna sing along. Too bad it has the line: “In another life, I would be your girl.” *

The remedy? This is so simple. Once you hear it, you’ll laugh at yourself for not coming up with it. All you have to do is change the word girl to squirrel. That way everything still rhymes. And you can fulfill your childhood fantasy of becoming Rocky the Squirrel.

You know you want to. The moose was too goofy. But Rocky was always the sensible one who really ran the show. And he could fly. What more do you want? It’d be like being Moe of the Three Stooges, only with Superman’s powers! That’s the dream!

Well, that’s the dream if your Lois Lane gets to be Katharine McPhee.

Thus, the first part of the chorus becomes:

“In another life, I would be your squirrel. 

We’d be chasing chipmunks; it’d be us against the world.” *

In many ways, I think the new and improved lyrics make a lot more sense.

Find your favorite songs; and change: 

Girl to Squirrel. 

Woman to Whoa man. 

Mother to Mugger. 

Hootchie-Momma to Nassau, Bahama. 

Sexy thing to Stingray sting. 

Lipstick to Dipstick. 

Makeup to  Fake cup. 

Eyeliner to Coal miner. 

Lady to Ladle, 

because soup ladles have no gender. 

Darling to Dollar, 

because everybody loves money. 

So now you can sing along to all your favorite songs without wondering if you’ll sound foolish, because you’ll already know.

At least that’s what we guys need to do. For girls, you can see songs from a male perspective without any complaints, because you’re doing so is so darling and endearing and downright hot.

The best thing about the song “The One That Got Away”; and the reason that keeps me singing it, is that it’s Katy Perry’s inadvertent advertisement for my latest book “The Faith of a Ketchup Seed”. 

The story “Across the Multi-Verse” talks about other worlds that differ from our own, so her singing “In another life” promotes my book. So yay Katy, what a lady! Or yay Kadle, what a ladle!

Blessings & Joy,

Dean

* The song “The One That Got Away” was written by Katy Perry, Lukasz Gottwald, and Max Martin. 

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