The Party Animal!
Who knew a birthday party for a five-year old kid could be so much fun?
My friend Walt threw a party for his second son Timmy and invited me. Since I was the only adult present who wasn’t a parent, I had to sit at the kid’s table. Ugh!
Fortunately though, that meant I got to participate in the party games. And I won every event! Those little boogers never stood a chance.
“I’m King of the World!”
I should say I won every physical event. Somehow I came in third in the Trivia Contest.
I’ve never been to the General Grant National Memorial, so how could I possibly know who’s buried in Grant’s tomb? *
Despite what the answer card said, I still assert that a cow’s favorite activity is eating hay, or making faux chocolate hockey pucks, a.k.a. fertilizer patties; NOT going to the MOOOOOOOvies. *
That’s so stupid too! When have you ever seen a bovine of any sort sitting at the cinema?
Since pirates could care less about trees, why would their favorite day be ARRRRRRRbor Day? *
That doesn’t make any sense either! I think that game was rigged.
Maybe Walt was mad at me for bouncing everyone else out of the Bounce House. But isn’t that why it’s called a BOUNCE House?
Those rabid little snots are such sore losers too! Literally crying to their mommies. Grow up; why don’t ya’?!
Plus, my pal probably felt angry that his kid got scraped and bruised when I drug him along the yard during the three-legged race. But hey, I play to win. And Birthday Boy or not, I wasn’t gonna let Little Timmy the Cry Baby slow me down.
Really didn’t mean to conk his head on the sprinkler system. But we won! You’d think Walt would be happy about that. And not so obsessed with the number of stitches Timmy needed.
Through it all though, I know our friendship still means a lot to Walt, ‘cause I overheard him telling the others, that I’m SPECIAL!
Mister Dean
* The Grant’s tomb bit is based on the old joke: Who’s buried in Grant’s tomb?
The MOOOOOOOvies joke came from a silly joke book my sister had when she was in elementary school.
I followed that same kind of “logic” to make the ARRRRRRRbor Day joke, but that’s probably in some silly joke books too, since it didn’t require too much thinking.
The MOOOOOOOvies joke came from a silly joke book my sister had when she was in elementary school.
I followed that same kind of “logic” to make the ARRRRRRRbor Day joke, but that’s probably in some silly joke books too, since it didn’t require too much thinking.
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