“An Inconvenient Fiction”
With zeal and fervor akin to Jor-El trying to save Krypton from destruction, a certain former vice president allegorically championed the need to thwart global warming in his documentary “An Inconvenient Truth”. Unfortunately, the basis for the problem’s cause should be dubbed “An Inconvenient Fiction”.
While he fervently blames the Earth’s increased temperatures on climate change, the actual cause is something else, something so obvious to everyone else:
Terra-forming by space aliens!
In preparation for their attack, when they will colonize the Earth and turn us into dust, slaves, or snacks.
Of course, when I said this is obvious to everyone else, by everyone else, I meant subscribers to the Syfy Channel.
So feel free to keep the refrigerator door open longer; and roll down your car windows when the air is on. Empty your ice chest outside too. Only by doing so can we help lower the Earth’s temperature; and thwart the space aliens’ attempts to hijack our favorite planet.
Don’t forget to wrap your head in aluminum foil, so those intergalactic fiends can’t read your mind. Otherwise, no one else in the field of extra-terrestrial relations will take you seriously.
The pinwheel hat is optional.
As is the lobster bib with the flying saucer insignia.
Admittedly, the red cape serves no useful function. It’s just fun. Especially when used in conjunction with the aforementioned pinwheel hat.
Live long and prosper.
No comments:
Post a Comment