Shaving Lincoln
by Dean Burkey
Abraham Lincoln was the first president to have a beard.
He was also the first president to be assassinated.
So maybe John Wilkes Booth just made a big mistake.
Perhaps he’d been out hunting.
And drinking.
So when he saw Lincoln’s beard, he thought it was a varmint attacking the president, and shot it!
I could be wrong.
But since that was so long ago, we have no way of knowing for sure.
But didn’t he say something like, “Die varmint, die!”
Or the Latin equivalent thereof.
He was also the first president to be assassinated.
So maybe John Wilkes Booth just made a big mistake.
Perhaps he’d been out hunting.
And drinking.
So when he saw Lincoln’s beard, he thought it was a varmint attacking the president, and shot it!
I could be wrong.
But since that was so long ago, we have no way of knowing for sure.
But didn’t he say something like, “Die varmint, die!”
Or the Latin equivalent thereof.
P.S. This is a work of humor/parody.
Uploaded on Aug 15, 2008 by
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