Unfortunately,
Fargon Is Now Far Gone
Fargon Is Now Far Gone
Why did I think I could be a superhero?
Because I can teleport between dimensions with the greatest of ease, unlike mere mortal men, who often have difficulty just setting their DVRs to record their favorite shows and sporting events?
And let’s face it, I look great in Spandex.
Especially the mask.
Although the cape adds a certain flare too.
But still. I inadvertently caused the death of everyone in the Fargon dimension.
Fortunately, not many people know, or rather, knew about that dimension, so my destroying an entire universe doesn’t get me into trouble.
Governments can’t govern that about which they do not know.
For the most part anyway.
So technically, I’m free and clear.
But I can’t say I’m unpunished.
Not when the cries of billions of gadflies still buzz in my ears.
The look of horror on the faces of those semi-translucent beings as the fabric of their realm ripped apart still frightens me too.
Just this morning, I felt so grieved, I couldn’t eat a third helping of waffles.
Not to mention that one of the Fargonians borrowed ten bucks.
I’ll never see that money again.
Although haunting, horrifying, and tragic, to an extent, it all seems so silly too.
I hadn’t even planned on visiting the Fargon dimension. Why would anyone want to go there? They make annoying sounds. Their women don’t look like females from any species worth noting. And they don’t have chocolate.
I carefully set my teleportation device to the Oolala dimension, where even the amoebas look supermodels.
A glorious realm where the most attractive of these gorgeous creatures always welcomes a visit from Captain Teleporting Dude.
(Me.)
A universe where lipstick and clothing, even sun visors, are all made out of chocolate.
Unfortunately, a speck of dust. A seemingly insignificant speck of dust. Altered my coordinates ever so slightly, sending me to Fargon instead of Oolala.
Of course, I was still greeted as a hero.
If you saw my cape, you’d understand.
The ruling regime of Fargon took me to their Science Council, where they showed me the heart of their galactic system.
Compared to Oolala, and even our own universe, their best scientific achievements came across as Tinker Toys.
So I tried to feign interest.
I really did.
But all I could think about was getting to Oolala.
The Fargon Science Chief went on and on about blah, blah, blah, self-destruct mechanism, blah, blah, blah, want a sandwich?, blah, blah, blah, bleh!
I accidentally bit into a Fargon sandwich.
I forgot that in their universe, their idea of candy is a raw anchovy.
I tried not to be rude as I purged the bite of sandwich I accidentally swallowed.
Trying to be less rude, I acted interested in the weird device they showed me and asked, “What does this button do?”
I then pressed the button, which wound up making the Fargon dimension far gone.
Of course, I teleported away as quickly as I could.
I knew I’d never find a decent breath mint in that universe.
And I still wanted to travel to Oolala.
Personally, I blame the Fargonians.
Who makes a Self-Destruct Mechanism for their whole dimension?
And why in the world, any world, would you show the visitor to your realm, the self-destruct button, right after giving said visitor a horrible sandwich?!
Still, I must question my pursuit of being a superhero.
Am I just in the hero game for the fun trips to Oolala?
Or do I really want to help others, to make a positive difference?
Hmm. In deep, deep thought, I ponder that question as I feverishly dust my teleportation device.
Because I can teleport between dimensions with the greatest of ease, unlike mere mortal men, who often have difficulty just setting their DVRs to record their favorite shows and sporting events?
And let’s face it, I look great in Spandex.
Especially the mask.
Although the cape adds a certain flare too.
But still. I inadvertently caused the death of everyone in the Fargon dimension.
Fortunately, not many people know, or rather, knew about that dimension, so my destroying an entire universe doesn’t get me into trouble.
Governments can’t govern that about which they do not know.
For the most part anyway.
So technically, I’m free and clear.
But I can’t say I’m unpunished.
Not when the cries of billions of gadflies still buzz in my ears.
The look of horror on the faces of those semi-translucent beings as the fabric of their realm ripped apart still frightens me too.
Just this morning, I felt so grieved, I couldn’t eat a third helping of waffles.
Not to mention that one of the Fargonians borrowed ten bucks.
I’ll never see that money again.
Although haunting, horrifying, and tragic, to an extent, it all seems so silly too.
I hadn’t even planned on visiting the Fargon dimension. Why would anyone want to go there? They make annoying sounds. Their women don’t look like females from any species worth noting. And they don’t have chocolate.
I carefully set my teleportation device to the Oolala dimension, where even the amoebas look supermodels.
A glorious realm where the most attractive of these gorgeous creatures always welcomes a visit from Captain Teleporting Dude.
(Me.)
A universe where lipstick and clothing, even sun visors, are all made out of chocolate.
Unfortunately, a speck of dust. A seemingly insignificant speck of dust. Altered my coordinates ever so slightly, sending me to Fargon instead of Oolala.
Of course, I was still greeted as a hero.
If you saw my cape, you’d understand.
The ruling regime of Fargon took me to their Science Council, where they showed me the heart of their galactic system.
Compared to Oolala, and even our own universe, their best scientific achievements came across as Tinker Toys.
So I tried to feign interest.
I really did.
But all I could think about was getting to Oolala.
The Fargon Science Chief went on and on about blah, blah, blah, self-destruct mechanism, blah, blah, blah, want a sandwich?, blah, blah, blah, bleh!
I accidentally bit into a Fargon sandwich.
I forgot that in their universe, their idea of candy is a raw anchovy.
I tried not to be rude as I purged the bite of sandwich I accidentally swallowed.
Trying to be less rude, I acted interested in the weird device they showed me and asked, “What does this button do?”
I then pressed the button, which wound up making the Fargon dimension far gone.
Of course, I teleported away as quickly as I could.
I knew I’d never find a decent breath mint in that universe.
And I still wanted to travel to Oolala.
Personally, I blame the Fargonians.
Who makes a Self-Destruct Mechanism for their whole dimension?
And why in the world, any world, would you show the visitor to your realm, the self-destruct button, right after giving said visitor a horrible sandwich?!
Still, I must question my pursuit of being a superhero.
Am I just in the hero game for the fun trips to Oolala?
Or do I really want to help others, to make a positive difference?
Hmm. In deep, deep thought, I ponder that question as I feverishly dust my teleportation device.
Please Note:
The following video is silly and not worth watching.
Which raises the question:
Why did I include it in this blog post?
Well, ... I wanted to have something ...
Published on Aug 7, 2012 by stealthrubber10
It’s far too late to help
the formerly fine folks of the Fargon dimension,
but you can still help the fellow beings in our dimension
whose lives are at stake.
Please be a better superhero than I.
And don’t let these poor people die.
Gifts That Multiply
Where Most Needed
It’s far too late to help
the formerly fine folks of the Fargon dimension,
but you can still help the fellow beings in our dimension
whose lives are at stake.
Please be a better superhero than I.
And don’t let these poor people die.
Gifts That Multiply
Where Most Needed
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