The Brother of Invention
Everybody’s heard of Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell, so how am I not famous?
I have an inventive mind too!
I’ve created such sensational novelty items as:
The Sask-Watch:
In keeping with its namesake, all the numbers are out of focus, so you never know what time it is.
The Lamp Storyteller:
A reading light that read to you!
Although it seems redundant, since you don’t need the light to read, since the lamp tells you a story, you can at least see where you’re going when you take potty breaks, and you can see if Ninjas sneak into your room.
The Shark Interpreter:
An electronic device that lets you know what a shark’s thinking, so you’ll know exactly why a shark eats you.
Was it because your wore the Yum-Yum Yellow Life Jacket?
Old Spice?
Bacon breath?
You just happened to pick the wrong time and place to swim, ‘cause he’s just hungry.
The MacGuffin:
A device you can use to make the bad guys come after you.
That’s what some girls want.
Or lazy dogooders who don’t feel like chasing the bad guys.
Why chase them, when you can lead them into a trap with:
The MacGuffin!
The Special Hitchcock Edition comes with twists and turns galore.
The All-Beef Burger
That Tastes Like Veggies:
With this cookout party favorite, you can trick your vegetarian and vegan friends and associates into becoming carnivores, because these pure beef patties taste like your choice of spinach, carrots, or cauliflower.
They’ll have a cow when they realize they just ate a cow!
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