Photo Source: Santa Claus - Clown by V K

Ha-Ha-Holiday Humor

by
Dean Burkey

Don’t forget Christmas is right around the corner.
Not this coming one, but the one next year.
They keep promoting Christmas
earlier and earlier each year,
so the only way to keep ahead of everyone else
is to promote next year’s Christmas
over a year early.

So have yourself:
A Very Merry Marketing Ploy for the Masses.
Make the Yuletide Pay.

The US should be like the UK
and have Boxing Day the day after Christmas.
That way, if you don’t like
what someone gave you for Christmas,
you can get him in the boxing ring
and pummel him for fifteen rounds!
“I told you I don’t like ties!”

Who is Carol?
And why did we name
all the Christmas songs after her?

We always sing “Silent Night”
and think the first Christmas was so peaceful,
but honestly,
I don’t think Joseph and Mary
got much sleep that night.
You’ve got the animals making noises;
an angelic host in the sky praising God;
and shepherds and wise men
showing up at all hours of the night.
Not to mention a bright star
shining above you the whole time.
(Back then, they didn’t have sleep masks.)

Have you seen those signs that say
“Jesus Is the Reason for the Season”?
Makes it sound like it’s Jesus’ fault
that it’s so cold and desolate this time of year.

Still such thinking about all this makes me question
the Divine and All of Existence.
If God is really All-Powerful and All-Knowing,
why did He plan His Son’s birthday
so close to Hanukkah?

All the Best,

Dean Burkey

“Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible”
makes a great gift for Christmas.
Even if you celebrate Hanukkah,
the first half’s about the Old Testament.

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Christmas Cartoon - Stand-up comedy with animated pictures

Uploaded on Nov 24, 2011 by

dhertle1

Warren Holstein:
Breaking News:
Santa taken out in drone attack.
War on Christmas ends.
(From: http://www.jokeblogger.com/hottopic/Christmas?ipp=50)

Patrick McLellan:
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,
but the very next day, you sold it on eBay.
(From: http://www.jokeblogger.com/hottopic/Christmas?ipp=50)

Dean Burkey:
Unfortunately, this Christmas,
we’re all out of partridges in pear trees.
Might I recommend an ostrich in an orange tree?
Or a peacock in an apricot tree?
We also have a goose hen in a tangerine tree,
but quite frankly,
that’s not as popular as out other bird - tree combo’s.

Hayden Black:
The NRA calls for armed guards
standing by every single chimney tonight
in case Santa goes rogue.
(From: http://www.jokeblogger.com/hottopic/Christmas?ipp=50)

Steve Hofstetter:
The most heartfelt Christmas greeting
is one you send to your entire phone via text message.
(From: http://www.jokeblogger.com/hottopic/Christmas?ipp=50)