Sometimes I Pray with a British Accent

Does anyone else pray in British? 

I mean, besides British people. 

Maybe that’s how Lutherans speak in tongues. 

It’s not Shakespearean like the King James Version; and certainly not in a Monty Python sort of way. 

More like the Beatles. 

“Dear Lord, thank You for this good day with sunshine, help me through this hard day’s night, ’cause all I need is love.” 

That might be because of the "Jesus" film where Jesus was portrayed by a British actor who dragged the cross up the left side of the Via Delarosa.

Until next time, cheerio ole chaps and lasses!
Dean

The Easiest Jokes to Write! (Part 1)

Maybe you've never written a joke before. I'm sure you've said some funny things. Made up on the spot an off-the-cuff comment that caused laughter among your comrades. So technically, you've created jokes before. But maybe you haven't sat down to write any. Well, now's your chance, with one of the easiest jokes to write:

The Twisted Cliché!

A commonly-used expression altered for comic effect.

Also, the Extended Proverb: A short, well-known saying, followed by a clever twist. The proverb serves as the Setup; and the clever twist serves as the Punchline.

Unless you joke about a cliché, twist a cliché, or use a cliché as a Punchline, avoid clichés. Ix-nay on clichés. Clichés are cliché and passé. Clichés rob your writing of vibrancy and originality.

Otherwise, the Twisted Cliché could be the easiest joke to write. Sometimes you change one word; the rest is already written.

Steven Wright: “A fool and his money are soon partying.”

Clichés work well, because most people already know them, so you don’t have to waste time setting them up. So take a cliché; and twist it!

You can alter any part of the cliché, but try to put the twist as close to the end as you can. That way you don’t talk over audience laughter; and the preceding part of the cliché works as the Setup, further entrenching the pattern in their mind, so the unexpected twist jolts them into laughter.

Unless you make a horrific pun. In which case they may groan. And they may turn violent. Which is why, when you first start out, you might want to perform in running shoes. Before you get on stage, be sure you know where the exits are. Might also help to pocket a can of mace.

Use whatever Types of Jokes & Humor Techniques you like to generate comedy, whatever pops into your head, whatever works best. Write more than one twist, so you’ll have more from which to choose.

Caveat: Don’t overuse Twisted Clichés, ‘cause the audience will start to predict the Punchlines; and that could be conceived as cliché.

Thomas F. Wilson as Biff Tannen in the 1985 film “Back to the Future”: “So, why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here?”

Also, you can state the entire cliché; and then say a Punchline.

Homer Simpson: “If I could say a few words, I would be a better public speaker.”

(Can you say Paraprosdokian?)

Add twisted clichés to your jokes or use original clichés (that’s an oxymoron) as part of jokes.

Mitch Hedberg: “Ya’ know, you can’t please all the people all the time. And last night, all those people were at my show.”

Question the cliché.

Steven Wright: “Is ‘tired old cliché’ one?”

Or point out the error(s) inherent in a cliché.

Bill Cosby: “A word to the wise ain’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice.”

Besides cliché expressions, twist clichés about the topics you discuss and any other cliché thoughts that come to mind.

Woody Allen: “Years ago, my mother gave me a bullet. A bullet; and I put it in my breast pocket. Two years after that, I was walking down the street, when a berserk evangelist heaved a Gideon’s Bible out a hotel room window, hitting me in the chest. The Bible would have gone through my heart if it wasn’t for the bullet.” -- Woody twists the cliché of the Bible stopping the bullet.

* Some writing gurus tell us to avoid clichés like the plague; as if people could avoid plagues. I’m sure everyone who's ever suffered from a plague would have avoided doing so, if he could. Especially the firstborn in Egypt.

* I didn’t mean to say that. I had an out-of-mouth experience.

Felicitations & Elation,
Dean Burkey

This post was adapted and excerpted from my "forthcoming" book “How to Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes!”

"Turning Point"

My first published short story ...

"Juggler's  World" Winter 1994 - 95, Volume 46  No. 4


On the Cover:  Illustration by Sally Ross 

That's the actual cover of the magazine. This is what the table of contents said:

Dean Burkey's "Turning Point" spins a whimsical tale of a high-wire juggling artist on the brink of a career change.

http://www.juggle.org/history/archives/jugmags/46-4/46-4,p29.htm

That link doesn't show it, but in the magazine itself, they set this part in a box in the middle of the page. Made the story layout look cool:

Juggling had been my little brother Timmy's dream, not mine.

After his tragic demise, I ceased to exist as a person

and adopted all of Timmy's characteristics

- his hopes, his dreams, his rubber chicken.

"Turning Point"
By Dean Burkey

"Just another day of juggling," I thought to myself as I performed a simple tennis ball routine while riding a unicycle across a cable that stretched between the World Trade Center towers in New York City. Despite the strong wind, I managed to keep control of the balls, which was more than I could say for the bowling pins that I had been using. A quick gust had caught me off guard and suddenly a horse and carriage entrepreneur below was out of business, a tired old horse was out of its misery and a small gang of underprivileged children acquired mystery meat burgers for a week.

Once aware of the wind, I was able to ad-lib a few extra laughs by throwing the balls against the air current to create amusing arcs. Halfway across I retrieved the balls and stopped the unicycle. Carefully balancing my head on the seat and using my hands on the pedals for control, I performed a handstand and began tossing one of the balls from foot to foot.

It was precisely at that precarious moment that I realized that I had never wanted to be an entertainer. Make-up gives me a rash, the costume's too tight and I abhor having all of those people staring at me. As my composure crumbled, my hidden props came out of hiding and plummeted 110 stories. I started to wobble and the crowd went wild.

I don't think most people ever intend to be sadistic. That's to say I don't think anyone wants to watch someone die. But, if someone is going to die, then certainly everybody wants to see it. Most entertainers use this fact to their advantage. Evel Knievel made a fortune out of people wanting to be there if he got killed. Of course, one should always utilize the proper precautions when using such a ploy. But in my case, it was no trick.

After years of performing feats of daredevilry and slapstick humor and becoming "The Juggler's Juggler," I suddenly forgot all I had ever learned. And why? Because I realized that I had never wanted to become a juggler. Never.

Juggling had been my little brother Timmy's dream, not mine. After his tragic demise, I ceased to exist as a person and adopted all of Timmy's characteristics - his hopes, his dreams, his rubber chicken. I became the adroit juggler and knock­about clown that Timmy had always wanted to be instead of pursuing my own dream of becoming a notary public.

Although certain that I was about to die, I rejoiced to have finally been set free. For 25 years I had been a prisoner inside my own mind. Timmy was only seven when he walked atop our backyard fence and juggled an apple, an orange and a pear. "Throw me some more fruit," he yelled with joyful delight as he maintained his balance and juggled with impeccable precision. He was trying to work his way up to five pieces of fruit, so I willingly obliged. I threw him a watermelon. He died on the way to the hospital. A van sideswiped our station wagon. Imagine my grief. He had been wearing my favorite sweater.

I somehow felt responsible for Timmy's death and the guilt was so pervasive that I, in effect, became Timmy. I laid aside any notion of stamping documents in order to become a juggler extraordinaire.

Just then a pigeon bit my ear and brought me back to the grim reality of my desperate situation. I forgot everything I had ever known about balance and stunt performing while teetering upside down on a unicy­cle atop a cable 110 stories high.

Then suddenly, when all hope seemed lost, my situation worsened. The wind blew stronger and I began to spin as the seat upon which my head was supported started to turn. With my legs out­stretched, I must've resembled a giant top.

I was all set to headline an act at the Pearly Gates, but then I realized that just as I had become "The Juggler's Juggler," I could become ''The Notary Public's Notary Public." I determined that yes, I would live, for there would be far too many documents left unstamped if I should fall.

Just then, the unicycle fell out from under me. I grabbed the cable and dangled above as the unicycle crashed below. The crowd began screaming, especially the person upon whose foot the unicycle landed. I inched my way back to the platform and addressed the cheering crowd, "If you think that was amazing, wait 'till you see what I can do with an affidavit! Goodbye Timmy! Goodbye cheering crowd! Goodbye world of juggling! I have documents to stamp!"

Ever since that turning point, I have spent several hours a day perfecting my document stamping skills, even to the point of calluses! The lesson to be learned is that everyone must fulfill the destiny written in the heart, or carry on a heinous masquerade that will bring one to the brink of destruction. That this is true, I indeed certify!  

*******

I wrote that after reading through the Writer's Market. I saw that Juggler's World wanted humor, so I decided I'd write them a story. The next morning I wrote the above story and mailed it to them.

Over a year a later, they sent me a copy of the issue of their magazine that featured my story.

Don't give up on your dreams; or your life will become a nightmare.

Blessings & Joy,
Dean Burkey 

Facebook Fun

Kirsten found a Pink Baby Calf on their farm in Farmville!

Cecil just found some White Mystery Eggs and wants to say thank you!

Dean wants to enjoy reality and wishes he knew how to unplug Farmville.  And erase those phony farms forever!

Facebook keeps telling me to reconnect with my girlfriend.  Back off Facebook, you’re moving too fast for me.

Facebook says: Many who like The Bible like God. 

If you don’t like God, why would you like His Book?

You don’t see Rabbi Berkowitz liking Mein Kampf.

Many who like hitting their thumbs with hammers also like cussing like sailors.

If Jesus had a Facebook page, He’d friend each and every one of us. 

But sadly, we end up un-friending Him by the ways we ignore Him and live our lives without regard to His commands.

Don’t un-friend Jesus, click Like.

Many who like Jesus like loving one another. 

And that would make the world better than any pixel pasture in Farmville. 

Make real friends besides on Facebook.  And here's another nifty idea, instead of cultivating a fake farm, plant some real seeds in your backyard and grow some real plants.  Just a thought. 

Be real.  Be blessed.  Be really blessed. 

Blessings & Joy,
Dean Burkey

Second Baptist Church

I don’t ask for much. 

I want to live a life that’s right and pleasing to God. 

I want to be Rebecca St. James’ trophy husband. 

And I want a Baptist Church to be forthright and say, “Look.  We’re not the first!” 

I thought the First Baptist Church began in Judea. 

Along the Jordan River.

With Jesus’ cousin, a locust-eating, leather-wearing, disciple-dunking prophet named John.

If only one Baptist church would name themselves Second Baptist, they could attract more people. 

Especially if they said: “Jesus is first; we’re second.  Come visit us at Second Baptist.”

Blessings & Joy,
Dean

Happy Father's Day!

To celebrate Father's Day, I'm thanking my Dad for who he is and for all he's done for me and our family.

In many respects, I owe my sense of humor to my Dad. He jokes all the time. He used to take me to funny movies. And we used to watch comedians and funny shows on TV a lot too. The first time I saw Steve Martin on TV was when I watched TV with my Dad.

He used to buy us the latest toys and gadgets too. We had "Pong" when it first came out! We also had lots of other games and toys too. Including a ping pong table, a pool table, air hockey, and a basketball hoop. Dad was famous for his hook shot.

We lived in a great house with a swimming pool. And, at risk to himself, he climbed to great heights to install a rope, a ladder, and a rope swing in the backyard so we kids could have fun.

Dad taught me how to ride a bike and how to drive.

Dad bought me my first guitar too. Without that guitar, I probably never would've learned to write songs.
Dad took us on many great vacations! Several to Gatlinburg and Chicago. Plus, we went to Colorado, England, Austria, Switzerland, Egypt, and Israel.

No matter where we go, Dad knows where to find desserts!

When Mom wasn't around; and Dad had to fix meals for us, if we didn't go out to eat, he'd make peanut butter sandwiches and malted milk shakes. For dessert, he'd make banana splits with all sorts of candies and nuts thrown in too.

Dad provided so well for us because of his courageous, adventurous, entrepreneurial spirit. Being bold enough to switch careers and start new companies.

More importantly than providing food, clothing, shelter, toys, trips, fun, and humor, Dad made sure we had devotions and went to church, raising us in a Christian home with Judeo-Christian values and teaching us to help those in need.

Thank you Dad for the great memories you gave us, for the sacrifices you made for us as you worked late hours and traveled around building your businesses, and for praying for us each day too.

I hope everyone has a blessed Father's Day. Please thank your Dad for all he's done for you too.

Anyone can spawn a kid, but it takes someone super special to raise a child, to be a Dad.

Thank you Dad!

Blessings & Joy,
Dean

Special Request!

Check out my awesome sister's amazing blog!: Rach and Me
http://rachandme.blogspot.com/

I don't even cook, but I love it. It's fun, funny, informative, and family-oriented. Plus, she's such a gifted, hilarious storyteller. I wish I could write like her!

That's for your enjoyment and edification, now here's The Special Request:

Please vote for Rach and Me at:
http://www.babble.com/babble-best/top-50-mommy-food-blogs/nominate-a-food-blog/index.aspx
Search alphabetically, (she's currently* # 291 on page 6), and click like for: Rach and Me.

* If other blogs get added to the list, start at # 291 on page 6 and scroll down to you find Rach and Me.

Thank you!
Only takes a moment, but makes someone special very happy.
Every vote means a lot, so please get everyone you know to vote too.

After you vote for Rach and Me, come back here, and leave a comment with a clean topic. (Nothing political, controversial, or racy.) To show my gratitude for your vote for my sister's blog, I'll see what joke I can write for you on your selected topic. That should be fun for everyone!

For topic ideas: What in life mystifies you? What makes no sense at all? What intrigues you?

If you prefer, you can pick three random words or phrases; and I'll write a Hymn Improv for you.

Your choice.

Thank you again.

Blessings & Joy,
Dean

PS You can vote every day, so please do so. And please repost the link and voting request to your pages too. She's so close already, when you and your friends vote for her, she'll assured a spot in the top 50!

Part of the point of this blog is to make others happy; and sometimes we can make ourselves feel better by making others happy, so please vote for "Rach and Me", because this will make my sister so very happy. She's a great person; and she writes a fantastic blog.

Thank you again! This means a lot to me and my family.

What Would Jesus Do?

I needed some advice so I went to my pastor; and he said, “It’s always good to stop and ask: What Would Jesus Do?” 

Hmm, what would Jesus do? 

He would be spat upon, mocked, flogged, tortured, and crucified for the sins of the world! 

Not the answer I was looking for. 

I just wanted some suggestions for a Father’s Day gift. 

… So I healed his leprosy.

And built him a bookshelf. 

I hope you have better luck finding a gift for your dad.

Blessings & Joy,
Dean

Divine Definitions

(No heresy intended. This is meant to be good-natured fun!)

Born Again -- The feeling you get when you wake up after a particularly long sermon. 

Benediction -- The church equivalent of “Gentlemen, start your engines.” 

Rapture -- After the Benediction, the feeling the parishioners who leave first feel especially when they reach their favorite restaurant and find a parking space out front. 

Heathen -- A non-church member.  Or a church member who doesn’t tithe. 

Hymn -- Church songs denoted with a masculine pronoun to belie the fact that the notes are too high for even sopranos to sing.

Denomination -- Unit of monetary value.  Most churches prefer fifties and hundreds.  But if push comes to shove, they’ll gladly break a twenty.  Maybe gladly isn’t the right word. 

Prayer Requests -- Gossip in a godly disguise. 

The Good Confession -- The one the clergy will talk about for weeks. 

Fifth Third Baptist Church -- The name of a Baptist church after all the good ones have been taken. 

Parish -- The thought one ponders when the service runs too long. 

Brethren -- The people who come after you when you miss a payment on your pledge. 

I hope I've cheered you up. And I hope I inspired you to hire me to perform at your church. :o)

Thank you for stopping by. No matter what's going on in your life, find at least three things for which you can give thanks.

Blessings & Joy,
Dean

My Hymn Improv

I'm part of an improv comedy troupe called the ImprovAddicts. Founded by Daniel Terry, now run by Mike Cotton and Darryl Knapp. But even before that, back in October, 2006, I used an improv routine in my standup show for my friend David Warren's church Presbyterian Chapel in the Grove (or "Pres-Chap" as I like to call it).

I needed to write a bunch of new material and worried about being able to memorize so much too. So I thought I'd use an improv bit as part of my show. That way I'd have less to remember; and at least that part of the show would appear spontaneous, because it would be.

Thinking about improvisation, I remembered that long ago, Mac Davis and his band used to improvise songs based on audience suggestions, so I figured I could improvise a hymn a cappella and created my Hymn Improv:

I get 3 random words or phrases from the audience and turn those into a new hymn. If the first improvised hymn goes well, I take 3 more words/phrases plus a style of music and make up a second hymn in that style of music. That adds to the humor since the audience picks types of music not normally associated with hymns, such as rap or heavy metal. I can’t Improv in print, so here’s what happened the first time I performed my Hymn Improv:

The suggestions were: “I’ll be back”, banana, refrigerator, and bratwurst.

(ImprovAddict me, I took four suggestions instead of three.)

With those suggestions, I came up with Hymn 144,072:

“I’ll Be Back in the Refrigerator Lord, If You Don’t Save Me Now”:

(You can make up your own hymn-esque tune as read the lyrics, because I made up one as I sang them.)

"When Jesus ascended, He said, “I’ll be back”;
and so we wait like a banana,
in the refrigerator, changing day by day.
Hopefully, He’ll come back,
before we look like bratwurst,
on the happy Judgment Day.
A-a-amen!"

This is true improv! I have no idea what tune or lyrics I'm going to sing or how I'm going to weave the suggestions together until I start singing. But that's what makes this so much fun for everyone. I have a friend play four measures on a piano; and then I start. Four measures is all I get! To me, this involves a lot of Divine Intervention and Inspiration.

What added to the humor was when the Pres-Chap crowd chose rap for the song style of the second hymn; and yet, David still played the same traditional four measures for the intro!

I've only performed the Hymn Improv a couple times, but it's never missed. Maybe that's why it's my favorite part of my show. (And the crowd's too.)

Even when I bombed for a Salvation Army Christmas dinner show; they laughed at that. Which I thought was great, because I follow that up with my surefire hilarious material. But unfortunately, they went back to their blank stares afterwards. But still, they roared at the Hymn Improv. And for the second rendition, where they get to pick the song style, they chose heavy metal!

For me, the part that's most fun, and the most difficult, is to sing "A-a-amen!" with a traditional hymn ending tune after having performed rap or sung a heavy metal hymn. I sing the wild antics of the chosen genre; and then end with "A-a-amen!" The juxtaposition of those two very different song styles (traditional hymn music and something totally modern and non-hymn-ish) strikes me as funny, so that's hard to do without cracking up.

That's my Hymn Improv.

Remember, when times get tough, get a tougher faith. And no matter what life throws at you, improvise a tune to get you through.

Have a safe weekend. You are not alone. Jesus is with you always until the end of the age. (Matthew 28:20)

Blessings & Joy,
Dean

The Jolly Joys of Pain and Misery

This is not about S & M.

Ha! As if Salt and Mayonnaise had anything to do with pain. Okay, if you ingest too much sodium and contract hypertension or if you eat mayonnaise and get clogged arteries. Or whatever mayonnaise does to destroy decent people, as most delicious food does.

Ever been embarrassed? Ever had your heart broken? Ever stub your toe? Are you human?

Just by being human in an imperfect world, you know what pain is. Maybe not personally, but I'm sure you've heard lots of folks griping and whining a lot.

The next time you suffer, you needn't suffer needlessly. You can suffer for fun and profit. Use your pain and heartache to create comedy!

Strangely, the least funny topics can garner the most laughs. Richard Pryor joked about having a heart attack. Other comedians have discussed their battles with cancer.

Once you learn this secret to comedy, troubles are no longer problems; they're comedy gold! Don't take my word for it, listen to what others in the know say as well:

Charlie Chaplin wrote in “My Autobiography”: “My means of contriving comedy plot was simple. It was the process of getting people in and out of trouble.”

Will Rogers: “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.” -- But unfortunately, or fortunately, if you make a fortune, when you're the comedian, you're the somebody else for the audience. The embarrassments happen to you.

Carol Burnett: “Comedy is tragedy plus time.” -- This quote has been attributed to others as well.

Mel Brooks: “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”

Tiny Rod Taylor, at his website www.abwag.com, says his drama coach Don Richardson taught him: “The more you are in trouble; the funnier it is.”

If you skip expressing your foibles and heartaches to avoid embarrassing yourself, you’ll miss a ton of material that will be funny and unique to you. No other comic suffers the same ways you do.

Embarrassment and Self-Insult Jokes are your friends.

* Too proud to be seen wearing glasses, Uncle Khaki opted instead to be seen falling down open manholes.

* I’m here to encourage you. No matter what problems you have, you can look at me and think, "At least my hair’s not as short as that guy’s." And if your hair is shorter, at least it looks better on you than me. But not to worry, ‘cause I look around and see some of you encouraging me too.

(I let my hair grow out again, so for the moment, that joke no longer works. Regarding my joke before that, I don't have an Uncle Khaki. Comedy lets you skew the facts as long as you go for laughs. Perhaps I'll discuss the beauty of K sounds in a future blog.)

The beauty of this is: You can also use Other People’s Misery by presenting their trials and tribulations as if those tragedies happened to you or through a character.

But be sensitive. Something recent or that happened to a demographic different from your own may be taken as you being callous and cruel.

The next time you suffer, find the funny as fast as you can. What better way to cope than with laughter? Especially if you can share your laughter with others too.

(Adapted and excerpted from my forthcoming book "How to Write All Kinds of Comedy Jokes!")

Blessings & Joy,
Dean  

My First Joke (That I Can Remember)

I submitted everything for review, so the Kindle edition of Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible should be available on Amazon within 24 hours! For only $9.99.

In honor of this momentous occasion, I’m remembering my first joke.

When I learned to talk, one of my first jokes was:

“Bug up there! Bug up there!”

I don’t even get the joke, but my parents sure thought it was funny. Because they still retell it to this day. And that sure is humiliating when you’re a grown man; and the one thing that your parents love to talk about is when you saw a bug on a wall.

“Our oldest son pastors a large church in California. Our daughter writes a popular cooking blog while raising two lovely daughters. And our middle child, well, when he was little, he saw a bug climbing on the wall.”

For the record though, this is the first joke I remember creating:

In first grade, my teacher Mrs. Runion told the class a joke where the punchline was the word décor meaning decorations, but it was used in the joke to also mean the core, meaning the core of an apple; and to be honest, none of us got the joke, but I did learn from her explanation how you could use the prefix “de” for the word “the.”

At the time, ABC’s Wide World of Sports was just starting out, way back when with Howard Cosell; and they had the line “The thrill of victory; and the agony of defeat.” So I came up with my first joke that I can remember that would really qualify as a joke on purpose:

“The agony of defeat -- that’s athlete’s foot.”

Blessings & Joy,
Dean

Excerpts from “Holy Laughter! Humor in the Bible”

The Original Superman!

Did Samson Wear an “S” on His Belt?

Judges Chapters 13-17

Besides his great strength, Samson had a bit

of a wit and a flair for poetics. Like Muhammad Ali

with his “float like a butterfly and sting like a bee”.

Samson’s Riddle in Judges 14:14 (NASB):

“Out of the eater came something to eat, And out of

the strong came something sweet.” An unsolvable

riddle, unless you knew the carcass of a lion

Samson killed housed a bunch of bees and their

honey.

After the Philistines coerced his wife into

making him reveal the answer, Samson derides

them in Judges 14:18 (NASB): “If you had not

plowed with my heifer, You would not have found

out my riddle.” He calls his wife a heifer and then

wonders why his father-in-law thinks he doesn’t

like her.

And what about Delilah? In Judges 16:1-22,

Delilah pesters Samson for the secret of his

strength. As soon as Samson tells her something,

she tries it to no avail. Thus, she’s trying to use

whatever he says to destroy him. In verse 15

(NKJV), she has the gall to say: “How can you say,

‘I love you,’ when your heart is not with me? You

have mocked me these three times and have not told

me where your great strength lies.” Crazy thing is,

he finally tells her! Who would’ve thought a

haircut could be a hero’s “Kryptonite”?

What kind of suitcase

robs Samson of his powers?

… Samsonite.


-------

Having Mustered My Beliefs,

I Relish the Faith I Have

Matthew 17:20 (NKJV):

So Jesus said to them,

“Because of your unbelief;

for assuredly, I say to you,

if you have faith as a mustard seed,

you will say to this mountain,

‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move;

and nothing will be impossible for you.

My pastor said to be saved, all I need is the

faith of a mustard seed; and that’s great, because, I

believe in mustard. I believe it goes well with

ketchup and tastes good on hot dogs and burgers.

He talks so much about mustard, because he

worked at McDonald’s to get through seminary.

When you have a problem, he says: “Let’s McPray.”

He makes Communion a Happy Meal.

And he Super-Sizes his sermons.

Having the faith of a mustard seed

doesn’t mean you should act

like a holy hot dog.

-------

Something Old & Something New.
What are your favorites from the book?

I like "For Sale: One Tomb; Slightly Used",
"The Ultimate Movie Trailer!",
and the various one-liners scattered throughout.

And to give you a way and means of witnessing
to those you love as unobtrusively as possible,
I put the Gospel in the closing section.

Share the joy of the Lord with those you love today!

Blessings & Joy,
Dean